Madgrin:Tales Of Horror

My name is Alice.

I have no magical land like Wonderland. But I do have delusions that are just as dark and twisted. Mine are more believable, you see, for mine are truths. Perhaps, in its own way, it is Wonderland.

I am twenty-one years old, and I have lived in a mental ward for the disturbed for the past two years. You see, my parents and younger sister Edith (Tillie, we called her) were murdered two years ago, and I went mad…ha ha ha…bonkers. Insane. They say that I could not cope with the horror that happened, so I blocked it out. The only survivors of my family were myself and my older sister Lorina, who was absent that night. The most tragic part is that we still have no idea who killed them. All I know is that I am alive, which is a miracle that haunts me, for I was present when the murder happened. I’ve been locked in catatonic state for the last two years, but I have regained my senses at last. I was re-taught the details about my life, and I have accepted the fact that my parents and little sister are dead. Today is the day I get released.

So welcome, my friends, to my story, for I have vowed that I will find the one who murdered my family. I will solve the mystery that no one else has solved.

I will have justice.

Or vengeance…hehehe…whichever one comes first.
---------------------------

I am finally released. I take my belongings, all I came with, including my favorite and most cherished watch. It has an inscription that reads:

-I decide what is real-

The inscription was done on my father’s watch he gave me for my 18th birthday. I keep it on at all times. Even in the ward, it was allowed. They said that each day I read the inscription in my catatonic state almost like a prayer, just repeating again and again. It was the only thing I said, so they left it on me, hoping it would trigger more words. As if by another miracle from God, I had recovered. Whether the watch helped or not, it does not really matter. The only thing that matters is I have my mind back, and I would not trade that for the world.

The first thing I do is get a cab to my parents’ old manor. I could have had my sister come pick me up in her fancy car, but I want to put on a show of independence. The manor has been in the family for generations. Lorina moved into it, taking care of the place for the last year and a half. She had left it empty for a little while for a mourning period (and also, I’m sure, due to the terrifying thought of being in the same house where her family died). But it was too tempting to stay away. Oh, how riches woo even the biggest pains…for it is indeed a lovely house, looking quite nice in its old Victorian style. For me, the manor will definitely be a strange place to stay, knowing what happened there. But it is still my only home (aside from the ward). It will be here that I will make my base of operation…for now.

As I pull up to the estate, my sister comes out, looking prim and perfect as usual.

“Oh, dear girl!” she cries out. “My dear Alice, you’re finally back!”

“Hello, Lorina,” I say with a smile.

“Let’s get you settled into the house, Alice,” she says, excited. “I’ve prepared the room upstairs: your old room. I know it may be weird being in the house, but it’s a completely new place now. It’s time to make new memories, not live in the past.”

“I know, I know,” I snap. “I heard that the whole last month of therapy while I was preparing to get released.” The moment seemed like a distant memory, like most of my life. “I only have one goal on my mind, and that is to find the one who killed our family.”

“Oh Alice, you drop that right now!” Lorina scolds me. “There is only pain down that road.”

She seems quite worried for a second, but then composes herself. “It’s almost time for supper, so why don’t you go upstairs and prepare.”

Smiling, she reaches out and pats my cheek. “You be a good girl, Alice.”

After supper, I talk to my sister for a while, just catching up on the news of recent days. We seem to talk for hours, but it is mostly small talk; nothing too deep. It is good getting to know her again. It feels like we are strangers because of the missed time from each other.

In the ward Lorina had never visited me, because i feel it was too hard for her to go to such an “improper” place. And she always had to be proper. I think Lorina seems a little cautious of me. I can only imagine why: to her, I am tainted…tainted with what I’m sure she would call my madness. But she never says it, because I am her sister.

After our talk, I am exhausted. I go to bed in good spirits. I can’t remember the last time I slept or let alone dreamed, but I dream tonight…a very odd and peculiar dream. In my dream, I see someone lying on a bed in what looks like a padded room; perhaps the ward I was locked in, but I remember no room like that.

Or do I…? I am unsure for a second. There are people watching the person on the bed, and in a deep voice, a voice I do not recognize, I hear:

“I decide what is real…I decide what is real…”

The voice mutters over and over again, and I notice that men are taking notes and whispering to each other. One man is sitting in the corner reading a book. I cannot make out the title, though the cover seems very familiar…

A loud crash downstairs startles me from sleep.

“What the hell was that?” I wonder aloud, confused as I get up from bed.

As I walk downstairs, I hear more commotion, so I hurry down to see my sister in the living room, crying.

“What’s wrong?” I ask, concerned and even more confused.

“Nothing is real…” she sobs. “Nothing at all…we are all pawns. Even you, Alice…especially you.”

She says this last sentence with mad eyes, and I see now that she is holding a gun.

“What are you talking about, Lorina? You’re acting crazy,” I say, eyeing the pistol in her shaking hands. “Put the gun down right now. You can hurt somebody with that.”

“Me? Crazy?” Lorina’s laugh is a shrill yelp. “You’re the mad one, Alice. I am just an afterthought in a twisted world.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I say carefully. “I know it’s been hard since our parents and Tillie died. But I’m going to give us closure. I have already vowed to find out what happened that night.”

“I already told you, Alice…there is only pain down that road.”

Lorina seems calm.

“…What do you mean by that, exactly?” I ask slowly.

“Oh, you will find out soon enough.” Lorina is still standing calm, but her eyes look mad.

“Do you know what happened that night?” I demand. “If you know anything, tell me now.”

My sister’s mouth twists into an insane grin.

“Oh, I know nothing and everything, dear sister…like I said once before, I am just an afterthought, and nothing more.”

“Tell me what you know!” I say it so loudly, it startles both of us.

“You killed them! You killed them, yet at the same time, you didn’t!” she laughs.

“…I…d-didn’t do anything…I…I w-would never…” I stammer.

“I know, Alice. You didn’t do anything. But I tell you, I know with all certainty that you killed your parents, but you never touched mine or my sister. You’ve never even seen me…never.”

“I don’t understand…we are sisters, Lorina!”

“Yes, Alice,” she whispers, “We are sisters, but I know not who you are!” She points a finger at me, raving. “The best description I can give you is the God of nothing! But for you, Alice…this is your Wonderland.”

Lorina points the gun at me, ranting, eyes wild.

“Nothing is real…nothing is real…why do you decide what is real…? No…today I decide…I decide what is.........”

Then, laughing madly, she shoots me in the head, killing me.

-+-

“Real.”

The word leaves my throat in a deep voice, as if I am finishing a sentence. I am very confused as I realize that I am restrained in a bed, in the same padded room and looking at the same men from my weird dream.

“He’s becoming lucid again,” one of them says. “His eyes are open and look like he’s coming out of it.”

“Ah, Jason. You’re back with us now, aren’t you?” The man speaking to me looks like he’s in charge.

“Where am I?” I ask, confused.

“Well Jason, you’re home: back in Sprinstein Ward. You were in another one of your hallucinations. You kept repeating something over and over, and you got quite violent, so we had to restrain you again.”

“…Am I back in the mental ward…? I need to talk to my sister Lorina,” I beg.

“Lorina?” He looks puzzled for a moment, and then his face flattens out. “You know no one with that name. You have no sister, and you murdered your parents in cold blood. You just need a moment to remember who you are. Your dreams can be very realistic. Just give it a second, you’ll come back to reality.” He looks over to another man in the corner of the room.

“Bob, quit reading your kids storybook and get over here. Take his blood pressure. I want to make sure it’s not too high.”

As my confusion fades, I remember who I am.

I am the God of nothing. At least, in my hellish dreams I am.

As I lie back, feeling my normal self (quite mad), I say one more time with a frown:

“I decide what is real.”

-Madness is my friend, Madness is my lover, I decide what is real, Welcome to my wonderland-