The Masked Feelings

He took a step closer to me, and Pilar excused herself, dragging Sergio out of the room with her. I sent her a grateful smile as she did so which she returned with a sympathetic one. "You can stay in the guest room, if you need anything just ask" Pilar offered.
"What's the matter?" Cristiano repeated and I look deep into his eyes, his Brown, chestnut eyes that I once loved to lose myself in.
"Everything" I answered shortly, taking a breath to continue, "I think that Harry and I are done."
"What do you mean by you think you are done with Harry?" Cristiano pressed and I sighed.
"I don't want to go into the details, but basically I caught him cheating on me..." I revealed and Cristiano sent me a pitiful gaze.
"I'm so sorry Tash, you don't deserve half of the shit that happens to you." he soothed, placing his hand on my thigh which made me jump at the contact and move myself away from him slightly. Why was he placing his hand on my thigh? I guess that it was just a comforting gesture; but after all he's put me through, him doing that caught me at surprise. Part of me felt bad for moving from him as his eyes revealed his feelings of hurt for a few seconds, before he tried to cover them up with a soft smile.

A comfortable yet awkward silence filled the room with neither of us knowing quite what to say. After a short sigh fell from Cristiano's lips he whispered gently, "That should have been me." His words were so quiet and sincere that I wasn't sure if he actually spoke them or if my mind was, yet again, deceiving me. I looked at him with a puzzled expression, encouraging him to continue. "When you were crying earlier, it should have been in my arms, not Pilar's" He breathed, still calm. I internally flinched at his words, wishing that he hadn't have said them. After all that I'd been through today, him reminding me of what he did to me was really not what I needed.
"It should have, in fact it would have been you; but you screwed that up all by yourself so don't try taking a trip down memory lane with me!" I warned sharply and Cristiano seemed slightly shocked by my outburst.
"I didn't mean it like that Tash. What I meant was that I wish that I could go back in time and start over with you." Cristiano pleaded, with desperation clear in his voice. Part of me wanted to forget about everything he did to me and start a clean page.
"Me too." I replied and his eyes softened and my body felt giddy about the thought of being with Cristiano. But the feeling left as quick as it came, as my common sense came back to me and reminded me that I couldn't give into him that easily. I needed to get back on my feet and trust him again and that would take time. A lot of it.
"Then why don't we? Why don't we forget everything that happened and go back to the way that we were?" Cristiano asked, and his voice broke at the end of the sentence. I could hear the butterflies soaring inside of him but I had to ignore them; I just had to.
"Back to when I was waiting up all night for you to come home while you were repeatedly stabbing me in my sleep? When you were keep me imprisoned inside your lies?" I asked and Cristiano remained silent, but I could see the pain flashing through his eyes. I sighed before resuming, "I wish that I could start a fresh page with you Cristiano, it's what I've been craving ever since you returned, but it's not that simple. I just got out of relationship, like just got out of it and I'm bleeding. I need to get over Harry and what he did to me, and then somehow manage to gain my faith in you once again before I can even consider getting back together with you. That won't happen any time soon Cristiano. You need to know that." I expressed to him and he held the same emotion, but I couldn't read it.
"I will wait for you forever if that's what it takes." Cristiano murmured and I smiled at his genuineness.
"I may just hold you to that" I whispered, before getting up to make my way towards one of the many guest rooms within the house, leaving Cristiano to consider my words.

I was abruptly woken from my peaceful slumber in the morning to the sun's unforgiving rays pouring through the blinds, making me wish that I had shut the blinds before I dozed off. I heard my phone vibrating on the bed side table and I stretched across the bed to pick up the phone. I scrolled down on my text messages to find one from Harry. Harry; reading his name froze the blood in my body, and after a few seconds I figured out why as the memories of last night came flooding back. The text read 'Hey, I really need to talk to you, please can I see you? x' I rolled my eyes at his message and ignored it. If I was going to get over him then I needed to cut him out of my life completely. Another vibration brought me out of my thoughts as I read the text from Sara, who I had called late last night, asking if she could look after Bella. Luckily she had agreed and her and Iker had spent the night at my house to ensure that she was ok. 'what time will you be coming home? xxx' Sara had asked. 'Will be thirty minutes xxx' I replied and rolled out of bed, getting dressed into my dress that I had worn last night. It was slightly crinkled now, but I had nothing else to wear.

After spending a couple of minutes on my hair, I came running down the stairs with my bag in hand, taking to steps at a time. I rushed into the kitchen and noticed Cristiano and Sergio eating some toast, as Pilar stood by the kitchen island, sipping on her tea. "whoa, what's the rush with you?" Pilar asked as I hunted the room for my keys.
"I need to be back at the house soon because Sara and Iker have been baby sitting Bella all night, and I promised that I'd be back in thirty minutes." I replied and saw Cristiano's head raise to look at me, in my peripheral vision, at the mention of his daughter's name. Pilar nodded her head and took another sip of her tea as my eyes scanned the room for my keys, I'm sure that I left them in here. "Have you seen my keys?" I asked and Pilar nodded.
"Yes, I put them on the window ledge by the door." She answered for me. I sent her a thankful smile and hugged her goodbye.
"Well, I better get going, I'll see you soon." I said. As I walked to the door I noticed my keys on the window ledge, like Pilar had mentioned. The keyring picture of Bella, Harry and I was missing and I silently thanked Pilar, for knowing that reminders of Harry was not what I needed right now. I grabbed the keys and walked out of the door, and into my car.

When I got home I spotted Sara's car in the driveway. I opened the door, and walked through into the kitchen to find Sara, Iker and Bella also to be having breakfast. "Hello" I greeted and Sara and Iker sent me a warm smile. I returned, and picked up an apple from the fruit bowl and began eating it at the table. After a few minutes of small talk had passed I thanked Sara and Iker for helping me out last night before they left to go back home. As Bella wondered upstairs to get changed I too decided that I should get changed. As I walked into my room the air caught in my throat. Pictures of Harry and I by my bedside table, caused my stomach to drop. There's unfinished business between us, and I need to finish it. I got dressed into a casual outfit, and then grabbed my phone from my bag. 'meet me at the park in an hour. Don't be late.' I sent, before putting on my make-up and straightening my hair. I need to show him just what he's lost.