The Masked Feelings

As I reached the park I noticed Harry sitting on the bench, fiddling with his nails, with his knee bouncing up and down in anticipation. My heart dropped as I took in his broken state, his eyes looked red, most likely from crying with dark circle outlining how little sleep he had gotten. A small part of me cried out to him, making me want to run over to him and hold him in my arms, tell him that I love him and that I will never let him go; if only it wasn't so simple. Within seconds I was already regretting my decision to come here, I knew that it would only hurt me, but I need this closure, I need to know why. I strolled up towards him, taking as little time as possible. When I reached the bench he lifted his eyes towards me, and a broken smile covered his face. "Tash, I was worried that you wouldn't come!" He sniffled, as he got up and stumbled over, but tried to cover it up by hugging me. I immediately took a step back as I smelt the smell that was toxic to me; alcohol. His eyes were not bloodshot from crying, but from drinking. While I spent my night crying on Pilar's shoulder like a fragile doll he drank his night away.
"I wish that I didn't bother!" I snapped but sat down anyway, I need answers that only he can give me. Once I get what I want I will leave, and never see him again.

"Please Tasha, don't be like this. You have no idea how hard it was for me to know how I've ruined everything." Harry pleaded and I bit back a bitter laugh.
"How hard it was? Please, you spent your night drinking while I was crying myself to sleep. Do you even care?" I hissed and Harry sat silently, staring at the ground. Please, no, "Harry, did you sleep with anyone last night?" I asked him, with fear hidden deep beneath my voice. Harry remained silent and I let out a large sigh. How could he do this to me. Not only did he cheat on me but he then also had a one night stand. "Gosh, you really don't care, do you?" I spat at him and he shot his head up at me.
"Please, Tasha, it was a drunken mistake. I love you and it will never happen again. Please don't leave me because of this." Harry sobbed, and I couldn't hold back the bitter laugh this time.
"Harry, I left you the moment that I walked in on you sleeping with your other girlfriend!" I harshly pointed out to him. Who on earth does he think that he is to cheat on me and sleep around and then think that I'm seriously going to stay by his side!
"She broke up with me, Tasha. I want to be with you, and only you. I get it now. I know how I feel about you and I will never ever hurt you again!" Harry cried as he literally got down onto his knees, entwined his fingers together and begged at my feet.
"Don't Harry. You're love means nothing to me. You can't seriously expect for me to take you back and forgive you after this? You cheated on me, and instead of saving what was left of our relationship you went running after her. And now that it's over with her you come crawling back to me. but what I bet you never thought that I'd say is that I don't come 2nd best. Not to you, and not to anyone." I stated with a tone of disgust, still not believing what had happened. I watched as Harry's eyes turned dark and cold, no longer a jade green but a sour and dark shade of black.
"You should take what you can Tasha, girls like you would be lucky to come 2nd best; you should know that right? I mean, with your past with Cristiano surely you would know that?" Harry spoke through a clenched jaw, with a tone that could cut through stone. He let out a loud hostile laugh to let me know that he wasn't finished. "Oh wait, you don't see that do you? Well let me spell it out for you. I never loved you, my manager forced me to go out with you for the publicity. That's right, your messed up fame bought my career to life. That's all that I needed you for. I was cheating on you the entire time. I never cared for you Tash, my love for you was a simple lie that you bought easily, so stop with the innocent girl card, because it doesn't work on me." Harry shouted at me and I have never in my entire life felt so humiliated. Everything was a publicity stunt to him, he would go around with the mind of a single man and never get caught because he had his mates make-up a fake alibi for him. He never listened to me because he simply didn't care enough to care enough about how it hurt when he'd lie. How he never considered my feelings once because he knew that he could play around and that I'd stay faithful as I'd stay at home and look after Bella.
"You know what harry? Although I have never felt this kind of embarrassment to quite this extent that I feel a burning red sensation with your presence, part of me pities you. You'll never ever love a girl nor will you be loved. I was your one shot at happiness and you blew it, so now you'll spend your nights with meaningless one night stands and without anyone who could give a damn if you wake up the next day. And one day you'll look back and regret how badly you screwed up, and by that time I'll have moved on from you. I'll be happy with a guy who genuinely loves me for who I am whereas you will die unloved and alone. And that is all I have to say to you, so bye and screw you!" I yelled back, and as I went to turn away my anger over took me, as I stepped towards him and slapped him straight in the face. Harry's hand went straight to his cheek and looked at me with icy eyes, before spitting at the ground towards me. Finally I managed to take control over my rage and turned around and stormed off to my car. If I never see Harry again it will be too soon.

When I got home Bella was busy playing with her dolls, and I walked over to the door frame, leaning in it with my body and folding my arms over my chest. She spoke every word so elegantly with such passion for these plastic dolls, that I felt my heart warm after the bitter fight that I just shared with Harry. This is what he's missing out on, a family and true happiness. The sad part is that he doesn't even know what he's missing out on because he doesn't know anything other than a sad and lonely life that he's always lived. I thought differently of him, I bought the whole 'soft loving' charm that he faked and now looking back on our relationship I realize how wrong I was. I will never be able to change him for the better. He's tornado, anyone who gets in his path of destruction will be obliterated in his wake, better for me to walk out now than for him to break Bella and I. Bella turned around, noticing my existence and smiled at me before returning to talking to her dolls. I smiled at her before walking out of her room and into my room and removing any photo's related to Harry.

As I began throwing out any of his clothes that he left behind, like his expensive Gucci watch that I bought for him. I threw out almost every picture, even tearing a few that were so painful, and filled with deception and deceit. As I turned around from my cleaning I noticed Bella watching by the door with a puzzled expression painted on her face. "What's going on mummy? What are you doing with all of Harry's stuff?" Bella asked with a voice of innocence; if only she knew what he'd done to our family.
"Honey, why don't you come and sit here on the bed. We need to talk." I began, patting the empty space next to me on the bed. Bella shot me a wary look before abiding and perching next to me.