The Masked Feelings

After around 30 minutes of catching up with Dolores and Cris, I had decided that it was best if I left now so that Bella could get some sleep on a proper bed. Cristiano offered to walk me out, and I'm sure that when he he got up from the booth, Dolores and him shared a 'look'. The type of look that says 'good luck'. I wasn't sure if I was seeing things or had misinterpreted it; but as we walked out of the building, Cristiano rubbed the back of his neck (a habit he has when he gets nervous) which led me to believe that maybe my mind wasn't playing tricks. It could have been the fact that there were about 15 different paps snapping photos of us and attempting to listen into what Cristiano was about to say. Cris opened his mouth to say something, however quickly closed it as he became more aware of just how close the paps were. Cristiano walked quickly towards my car and I followed him, hot on his trails. As we made it to the car, I unlocked it and carefully placed Bella in the back on her booster seat, being extra careful. I then got out of the back and made my way into the drivers seat. I turned my head to face Cristiano who was sitting in the passenger seat with a pained expression on his face. "So, what did you want to say?" I asked softly, placing a reassuring hand on top of his own hand. He smiled at me warmly, and I was hoping, praying, that he'd say those words that I've been secretly hoping he'd say ever since he returned. 'Tasha, I love you.' 3 words; 'I love you' that's what I'd been waiting to hear from him and I was sure, so sure that he'd say them.
"I just wanted to say..." Cris began and looked towards the ground before moving his eyes to look at me. "i just wanted to say... Thank you for coming to the game. It really meant a lot to me." Cristiano continued and smiled at me. My heart sank at those words. It felt as though a ton of bricks had been laid onto my chest making it so difficult to breathe, but I put on a smile and played my feelings down.
"It was no problem, Bella and I had a great time watching you." I replied and Cristiano gave me a small smile before stepping out of the car and walking away to go find his mum. After he walked back into the stadium, I sank down in my seat, wishing that he hadn't have said what he said. I had gotten my hopes up and he had played them down, the proof being the tears that had started trailing down my cheeks.

Cristiano's POV

Damn it! That was my chance. That was it, I was so close, so close to telling her how I felt. But when I looked up into her beautiful green eyes, something stopped me. I felt terrified that she'd laugh in my face at my desperation. I love that girl. I love her more than I knew capable, but the thought of confessing my feelings forms a lump in my throat. Every time I almost say those words I just seem to freak out and end up saying something completely. As I reached my mum she held an excited smile, which faded as she noticed my slouched shoulders and disappointed gaze. "I couldn't say it mum, I just couldn't" I admitted, and mum wrapped her arms around me in a warm hug that I needed so desperately.
"It's ok, you're going to call her up and ask her if she wants to go to your house for dinner. Invite Bella around so it doesn't seem too much like a date and you can tell her then." My mum instructed and I nodded as I took in her plan. It always seemed to baffle me at how my mum can so easily sort out a situation. she had always liked Tasha, which was unusual seeing that she never took a liking in any of my other girlfriends. She said that she could see that Tasha was honest and that I had never been happier than I was with her.
"Ok, I'll text her now." I announced and mum hit my arm lightly sending me a playful scowl.
"Don't text her Cris, call her." Mum demanded and I shook my head, knowing that if I called her I'd get all nervous and stutter, but the look of my mum's face didn't look lenient. "Call her" mum repeated and I rolled my eyes before dialing Tasha's number. The wait for her to pick up was one of the most daunting moments of my life. After a few more seconds she picked up her phone, much to my relief yet dis-relief as it meant that there was no backing out of this now that my mum was next to me.
"Uh, hi Tash." I stuttered cursing myself inside of my head.
"Hey Cris, what's up?" Tasha asked, as I heard her car turn a bend.
"I was wondering if you and um, Bella, would like to, err... Would like to come to my house later for dinner? If you've not already got plans that is." I asked, stumbling through every word.
"um, yeah sure. What time should we come over?" Tash replied and her voice sounded like chocolate... Gosh I am whipped...
"How about 8?" I asked and Tasha agreed before hanging up because she wasn't supposed to be talking to me while driving. My mum raised her eyebrows at me, and I knew what she was asking. I nodded my head and she let out a grin, ruffling my hair and teasing me about how much I loved Tash.

I had spent about 2 hours tidying the house completely and then I began cooking Tasha's favourite. I don't like to brag too much, however Tasha claims to love my 'Paella con carne' (Paella with meat) so I decided that I'd make that. The Paella was going well, it was in the oven with about an hour left on the timer so that it would give Tash and I time to chat before it was ready. The door bell ringing alerted me of Tasha's presence and I could feel myself getting more excited about getting everything out in the open. I opened the door to find Tasha with Bella, and Tasha looked stunning. It seemed as though she could wear the most lose and baggy clothes and she would still look beautiful. Irina never had anything on her, she put Irina's modelling career to shame. I could tell that she'd put a lot of effort into her appearance today and that made my heart flutter. I knew that despite the past that we have she till tries to impress me.

Tasha's POV

As Bella and I followed behind Cristiano towards the kitchen I internally smiled as I recognized the smell wafting from the over. He remembered. After all this time spent apart he still remembers my favorite home cooked meal. Bella smiled at me and I knew exactly what she was asking, as she had been going on about her playroom the entire journey here. "Cristiano, would it be alright if Bella can go up to the play room?" I asked him.
Cris smiled at Bella before replying, "Of course." Bella's eyes opened wide and she smiled at both of us before sprinting upstairs to the play room. I could hear rain starting to pour outside, with the sound of the droplets dropping onto the ground.
"you remembered" I whispered, only just loud enough for Cristiano to hear.
"Of course I did Tash. I could never forget anything about you." Cristiano replied so sincerely and I felt so touched, he remembered. Just then, as if on cue a loud bang of thunder echoed through the house and I jumped into Cristiano, burying my head into his chest as his arms wrapped around me without a second thought. Storms brought up unwanted memories from my childhood, and Cris knew that. "Tash, it's ok." Cristiano whispered into my ear, and it helped. The storms from the past year were the worst. Bella would either sleep through them or ignore them; they didn't have the same effect on her that they had on me. But then again, she doesn't have the same memories of a storm that I have. I closed my eyes and painful memories came to mind like a slideshow. "Tasha, there's something that I've been wanting to tell you for a while now..." Cristiano began, as he pulled away from me. This was it, I could feel it. He was finally going to say those words that will reel me back to him. My heart leapt into my mouth in anticipation of the following words. Cristiano's eyes studied mine before continuing, "I'm really sorry that I left you and Bella." Cristiano spoke and I took a few steps back. He didn't feel the same way. That was his chance to say how he felt and he didn't; he didn't love me back. The weight on my chest returned and I didn't know if I could take this humiliation any longer. I looked out of the window and the rain was still hammering down but i couldn't stay here for much longer. I needed to go and clear my head and then come back and talk to Cristiano. Without any more thought I shook my head at Cristiano and sprinted out of the door. I heard footsteps chasing after me but I just kept running through the rain until my legs could no longer carry me. I eventually came to a stop and then I heard Cris come to a stop behind me. I cursed myself for seriously thinking that I could outrun a footballer. A silence took over and all that could be heard was the rain smashing the ground and Cris and I's pants.
"I need space Cris. Please, I just need space." I pleaded however Cristiano continued to stand a few feet away from me. I heard the thunder strike from about 5 or 6 miles away and flinched. It's now or never I told myself as I mustered the confidence to finally speak my feelings.