The Masked Feelings

Cristiano looked slightly taken back by my comment, "Are you sure?" He asked, probably not believing that I actually meant what I said.
"Yeah, Bella's been without her dad for long enough." I assured him, with a tight smile.
"I'd love to; thank you so much for this Tasha." Cristiano exclaimed, with a what appeared to be a genuine smile on his face. He took a step forward to give me an embrace but I took a step back, colliding with the door.
"I'm sorry Cris, I'm just not ready to do that yet." I replied and Cristiano nodded his head staring towards the ground.
"I really am sorry for what I did to you Tash." Cristiano apologized. I bit my lip and then turned to open the door. I walked through with Cristiano hot on my trail.
"Stay here until I call you in" I whispered and Cris nodded his head, and I walked through into the kitchen where Bella was putting her bowl into the washing machine. "Bells." I called, as she turned her head around and looked at me with her adorable green eyes that glistened in the light.
"Yes mummy?" She asked leaning against the refrigerator, but only standing an inch or so taller than it.
"I've got someone who wants to see you!" I exclaimed as I grinned at her, and her eyes lit up with excitement and confusion both flickering in her eyes.

"Hey Bella." Cristiano greeted with a small smile playing on his lips. Never before had I seen Bella's eyes ignite so much in her life. It was like watching a candle meet a flame, the sudden burst of colour. She sprinted across the room to Cris and gave him long tight hug. Tears clouded my vision as I used the end of my cardigan to wipe at the tears that began to trail down my cheeks. Bella pulled away with a goofy grin smothered across her face.
"Daddy!!" she shouted as she hugged him again. I watched Cris nuzzle his face into the crook of his neck, the way he used to on me. His eyes fluttered shut and he he gave her a tight pull before letting her go.
"I've missed you so much Isabella." He exclaimed, cupping her face in his hands and studying every aspect of her face. "Gosh, you look so much like me!" He noted, his eyes drifting up to meet my gaze. I smiled sadly at him before his eyes met with Bella's again.
"Bella, can you go upstairs and get changed?" I asked and Bella turned around to face me with a small pout.
"But mummy, can't I do it later?" She whined and I raised my eyebrows at her.
"No sweety, do it now; daddy will still be here when you get down; I promise." I replied and Bella rolled her eyes before stalking up the stairs to get ready.

"She's still got her attitude I see." Cris joked, and I gave out a light chuckle.
"You should see her around Harry!" I replied with a smile gracing my lips as I thought about the numerous meaningless fights that she has with Harry, mainly about him not paying 100% of his attention to her when she goes on rants about how evil I am by making her tidy her room.
"Who's Harry?" Cris asked as he turned to face me.
"No-one." I replied shortly. I knew that Cristiano wanted to know more, but thankfully he left it at that. I stared into the wall thinking about how much Cristiano had changed. He seemed slightly vulnerable, just something that I had picked up on. But he was always vulnerable whether he was aware of it or not. I turned to face him and I saw that he was staring straight at me with no expression, his lips were moving but I had blocked out any sound that he was making. That was what terrified me. I used to be able to look in his eyes and clearly see any signs of emotion flickering in his eyes. but now I don't see it.
"Bella, Bella, Bella." He called as I blinked a couple of time before looking into Cristiano's eyes.
"Uh huh" I answered, finally awakening from my trance.
"You seemed kind of distant, and sad. Are you ok?" Cristiano asked, and I wondered whether I should wave it off or actually be honest with him.
"No, not really." I answered, staring at the ground. I raised my eyes to meet his and he stared at me, waiting for me to continue. I took a deep breath before continuing, "it's just weird I guess. I mean, before you left I didn't even have to look at you to know if you're ok or not; but now I'm staring at you and I can't see anything. It's just empty and I hate it because even though I'm not ready to have any kind of relationship with you; it's just much easier to know how you are. I guess it just gives me some kind of feeling of closure you know? Knowing that I'm not the only one who's hurting...But then I guess that after what you did there's always going to be some kind of distance between us. Even though you're right next to me it feels as if you could be further away. But I don't know, it's just new to me and I don't know quite know what to make of it." I replied honestly, with a tone of numbness. I didn't really know what to make of how I felt, it's just that being around him bought up unanswered questions that I'd been playing down. And that scared me, because I knew that those empty answers were what stopped me from moving on. If I wanted to be with Harry then Cristiano couldn't be in my life; but Tasha needed him now and I couldn't take him away from her; not after everything that she's gone through.
"It doesn't have-" Cristiano began before he was cut off by Bella running into the room in a new outfit. She wore a blue t-shirt with denim shorts, paired with some blue converse along with some bracelets to accessorize.
"Do you want to got to the ice cream shop?" Cristiano asked and Bella's eyes lit up, with a devilish grin, as she bobbed her head up an down.
"Great, Tasha do you wanna come?" Cristiano asked and Bella looked at me with expectant eyes.
I smiled at her, "I think that you two should spend some quality time together, and I've got Sara coming over anyway. But you two go and have a good time." I replied, walking Bella to the door. Cristiano opened the door and took Bella's hand. I gave her a peck on the forehead before she walked through the door with Cris.