Washed out Rock Song

“Hey,” I heard, “Leah, get up.”

I squinted my eyes open and immediately shut them again, the light blinding me.

“Leah,” I heard again.

I opened my eyes slowly again and saw John’s face hovering over me.

“Oh my God,” I said, my voice groggy. I sat up and looked around me. “Oh my God. What time is it?”

“It’s 7:15,” he said. “We must have fallen asleep last night. I’m sorry.”

I thought back to last night. John set down blankets on the back of his truck again and we laid together and looked at the stars. I listened to him tell stories about working with his mom and some of the bizarre customers that would come in. Every now and then he would lean in to kiss me before smiling and continuing a story. One thing I was sure about though, he definitely was not trying to sleep with me last night.

I crawled to the end of his pickup and jumped onto the concrete. “We have school.”

He nodded. Jumping down after me. “I have to pick up my cousin. I’m so late.” He gave me a quick peck and ran to the drivers side. “I’ll see you at school, okay?”

I nodded and watched as he got in his truck and drove in the opposite direction as the school.

I walked to my car and prayed that my parents assumed I left early this morning. I drove to the school and parked as the five minute bell rang. I pulled down my visor and threw my hair into a messy bun. I lifted my hoodie to my nose to smell it, I felt gross coming to school in the clothes I slept in last night, but I smelled fine. I grabbed my backpack off of the backseat and shut my door, hurrying to my locker to grab my history textbook before class.

“Where were you all night?” Kira leaned against the locker next to mine crossing her arms. “I heard you leave.”

When I looked at Kira I felt like I had just run into a wall of guilt. Waking up next to John left me in a state of blissfulness, and now I was snatched back into reality. I grabbed my book from the locker and shut it as the warning bell rang. “Nothing happened, Kira,” I said, “I promise. I have to get to class.”

I turned my back towards her and went to my history class, taking my normal seat. I was ready for the previous nights experiences to take over my mind during Mr. Holloway’s lecture, and it did. Before I knew it the bell rang and I was making my way back to my locker. I spun my combination into the lock and threw my locker door open, switching my history book out for an Algebra book.

“Hey,” I felt two hands reach around my waist and it startled me at first before I realized it was John.

I shut my locker door and turned towards him, leaning back against the row of lockers. He put his left hand on the locker behind me and leaned on it.

He smiled. “I’m sorry I scared you. I got to school a bit late, Marie was pissed.” He laughed and leaned down to entwine his lips with mine and when he pulled away I became very aware of all of the people who had stopped to watch us. I felt my smile quickly fade as I saw more and more sets of eyes on me.

“I have to get to class,” I pushed past him and glanced at a couple of girls whispering across the hall.

The rest of the day quickly became a nightmare. I watched as people whispered and then looked straight at me. I would walk into the room and it would be silent. In a matter of seconds I went from feeling like I was on Cloud 9 to feeling like the main character on The Truman Show. I didn’t ask for this attention. I started off this day by waking up next to John, I felt happy. Even though I had a moment of regret when I saw Kira, I was still okay. And now I was walking through the hall with my head down, trying not to be noticed.

I sat in my last period Spanish class anxiously waiting for my day to be over and the weekend to start. Thank God it’s Friday.

“You can spend the last five minutes of class working on your assignment,” my teacher said retreating to her desk. The room immediately began to get louder with chatter.

One of John’s friends, Pat, was in the desk in front of me. He turned around in his seat to face me. “So, are you and John like together now?”

I noticed a couple of surrounding classmates stop mid conversation to listen to my answer.

“Why?” I asked. “Did you lose your bet?” I smirked at him.

“He told you about that?” He asked.

I nodded, and finally the final bell rang dismissing classes.

I jumped out of my seat and made my way to the exit. As soon as I hit the sidewalk outside I ripped a cigarette from the pack I had and lit it up, taking a long drag. I exhaled and marched to the side of the school, making my way around it. Once I reached the other side of the school, my eyes landed on the back of John’s head. He was standing there with Garrett and Kennedy. I took another long drag and threw my smoke on the ground. I walked up to him, pulling on his arm a little too harshly.

“We need to talk,” I said aggressively.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, confused.

I turned to his friends who were listening intently and fake smiled. “Fuck off,” I said, still smiling.

Garrett threw his hands up as if to say sorry and John laughed as they walked away The two of them grabbed Pat and Jared, who were late to the show.

“Leah,” he smiled and put his hands on my shoulders, “What’s wrong?”

“Why’d you kiss me like that?” I asked, “In front of everybody?”

“Because I wanted to? It seemed like you wanted to too.” He was confused. He moved his hands down my arms and grabbed onto my hands. “What’s going on?”

I realized how quickly this was all escalating. It was like as soon as I told John I trusted him, a switch in his head went on. I felt torn. Do I go along with this, how fast everything he is moving and for the sake of Kira and our revenge plan just try to catch up? Or do I think about my own feelings and slow him down?

I took back one of my hands and rubbed my temple. “Look, I don’t want this attention I’m getting.” I dropped my hand to my side. “I spent all day watching people whisper about me, stare at me.”

“And you think it’s because of me?” He asked.

I nodded. “It’s no secret that every single girl in that school wants you to kiss them in the middle of the hallway like that,” I said.

“That’s not true,” he snickered.

“Yes it is,” I said. “And this isn’t funny. I know that you love being the center of attention, but I don’t. I actually like being somewhat invisible.”

“You really don’t get it, do you?” He was smiling, he still thought this was hilarious, and I was still angry.

“Get what?” I dropped his other hand and crossed my arms over my chest.

“Leah,” he laughed, “You’ve never been invisible. It’s the opposite, really.”

“What are you talking about,” I asked. I was getting annoyed now.

“I heard the whispering today,” he said, “And yeah, okay, there was a lot more than usual. And yeah, some of it was about me.” He paused, trying to read my face, but I was more confused than ever. “But most people were talking about how Leah Dunn kissed someone in the middle of the hallway today. They couldn’t believe that Leah Dunn was finally dating somebody. Leah Dunn. Leah Dunn. Leah Dunn.”

I shook my head, “That’s not true.”

He laughed again, “Leah, you think every single girl in school wants me? Well I think every guy in school wants you.”

“No,” I said, “People don’t like me.”

“No,” he said back, “You don’t like people.” He grabbed my hand from me with both of his hands and I let my other one drop back down to my side. “Leah, if you tried, just for one day, to be nice to people you would see what I was talking about.”

“I’ve been around these people my whole life, they don’t care about me, and I like it that way.” This conversation was getting absolutely ridiculous. “The fact is, nobody has a reason to pay attention to me, so they don’t. Until now. Because of you."

“Leah, are you serious?” he smiled, “They have a pretty good reason to pay attention to you. You’re fucking gorgeous.”

I rolled my eyes. I knew he was just saying this because he felt like he had to right now.

“I know that people don’t really talk to you, but it's because you scare them. I mean, honestly, you’re not the nicest person.” He laughed, but he was right. I was kind of a bitch, I mean I did just tell his friends to fuck off. “But that doesn’t mean they don’t notice you. Leah, you are stunning. Your messy hair, your ripped up shorts. Girls envy you because you’re so gorgeous and it’s completely effortless. Guys drool over you when you walk down the hall. How do you not realize any of this?"

I shook my head, “You’re wrong.”

“Trust me, I know what I’m talking about,” he said. “I’ve been in the middle of it since kindergarten.”

I sighed and looked down at my feet kicking gravel around, still hanging on to one of his hands. “I’ve never noticed anything.”

“Really?” he asked, “So you’ve never been asked to homecoming by four different guys?”

I thought back to the first week of this school year and wondered how he knew that. I shrugged. “That’s normal.”

He laughed, “That’s not normal.”

“Whatever,” I said, “You’re wrong. And I don’t care what they think of me anyways. I just want things to go back to normal.”

“I know, and that’s what I love about you. You don’t care what anybody else thinks,” he said, “And I know you don’t like the attention right now, but give it a few days and it will stop. They’ll get bored and start gossiping about something else, okay?”

“I have to go,” I said, finally dropping his hand. I turned and headed for my car.

“Leah,” he called.

“I’ll call you later,” I shouted over my shoulder.