Washed out Rock Song

“I can’t believe you talked me into this,” I said, buckling my seatbelt as John started driving. High school parties were not my idea of fun, but John wanted to spend time with me and his friends. And I wanted to spend time with John.

“I brought something for you,” John reached into his back pocket and pulled out something that was folded up. He handed it to me while still keeping an eye on the road.

I grabbed it and unfolded it. It was a picture of two kids. A little girl dressed up in a lady bug costume and a little boy dressed up as Spiderman. “Is this me?” I asked, unsure. It was hard to tell in the dark.

He laughed. “Yeah. That was Halloween. We were 6. I told you we were friends.”

I couldn’t believe I had no recollection of this. “Can I keep this?”

John nodded. “It’s yours.”

We pulled up to a street with cars already filling up any open space there was. John found an empty spot and parked.

I took a deep breath and stepped out, following him up the sidewalk to the loudest house on the block. There were people sitting outside with drinks in their hand and I thought about turning around and running away. I hated going to school to see these people and now I was spending my free time with them too. What was I thinking?

John grabbed my hand and led me through the front door. We maneuvered around people talking and drinking until we made it to the kitchen where bottles of liquor were piled up on the counter and two kegs were sitting in the corner.

“Do you want something?” John asked me.

I nodded and he grabbed a red solo cup, filling it up with foamy beer. He handed it to me but didn’t grab a drink for himself. We left the kitchen and shoved through crowds of people until he spotted Kennedy and Pat in the corner of a room.

“Hey,” Pat said. He was dressed in a onesie and had a pacifier in his hand. “What are you supposed to be?”

I looked down at my denim shorts and black long sleeve top. “Halloween’s not really my thing,” I said.

I felt out of place without a costume but John wasn’t wearing one either.

“Since when did you go to parties?” I heard behind me.

I turned. “Kira, I didn’t know you were going to be here.” I immediately felt uncomfortable now that Kira was here. I knew that she would be watching every move I made.

I glanced at John and he was clearly uncomfortable too. I flashed him a look that said help-me-get-rid-of-her and he got the memo.

“Kira,” he said, “Have you met Kennedy?” He motioned towards Kennedy who had stopped his conversation with Pat once Kira walked up.

“Hi,” Kennedy smiled. “So you’re Leah’s sister?”

I watched as Kira nodded and smiled back at him.

“Do you want to go get a drink?” He asked her.

She seemed hesitant but agreed and walked off with Kennedy. I felt instant relief and John must have too because he wrapped his arm around me as soon as Kira was gone.

I was quiet and sipped on my drink as everyone around me conversed. The rest of John’s friends showed up and Garrett grabbed me another drink when my first one was gone.

John’s phone rang and the name ‘Katie’ flashed on his phone before he hit ignore and shoved it back into his pocket. I couldn’t help but wonder who she was and why she was calling him. It wasn’t long before I was onto another drink.

“John!” A girl exclaimed coming up to us. I recognized her from school but I didn’t know her name. She had on a short, tight police officer costume. She ran up and grabbed his arm. I felt a tinge of jealousy rush through me. “I’ve been wondering where you’ve been.”

John glanced at me and shook her off of his arm. “Melanie, do you know my girlfriend, Leah.”

I felt stupid for being jealous after he made it blatantly obvious he had a girlfriend and he wasn’t interested. I still wondered if he had slept with her previously though, and I already knew the answer was yes.

“Right, hi.” She looked at me and flashed me a fake smile before turning back to John and ignoring me. “Find me later.” She winked at him and ran up to one of her friends who had just arrived.

I felt extremely uncomfortable now. I looked around the room at all of the women and couldn’t help but wonder who he has slept with. I threw back the rest of my drink and waited for someone to grab me another one. I looked at me feet and realized that I was tipsy.

John leaned over and put his mouth against my ear. “Are you okay?”

I smiled sheepishly and nodded. He knew this wasn’t my idea of a fun night out and wanted to make sure I was okay. But I couldn’t tell him I was worried that everyone in this room had slept with my boyfriend. I felt uncomfortable and I wondered what was keeping him with me.

I grabbed his hand and pulled his ear closer to me. “Can we go somewhere quieter?”

He smiled and nodded. “Sure.”

I led his arm up the stairs and found an empty bedroom. I pulled him into the room and shut the door behind us. We could hear the muffled music through the door. I pushed myself onto him, and reached up for our lips to meet. He kissed me back. I felt his hand on the sliver of skin that poked out between my shirt and my shorts and it gave me goose bumps. I pulled away and pulled him onto the bed with me, once again pressing my lips to his.

I wasn’t supposed to sleep with him but right now I wanted to. I didn’t care about anything else. I couldn’t compete with those other girls when they gave him everything and I hadn’t yet given him anything.

I grabbed the hem of his shirt and pulled it up over his head, only breaking our kiss for a second. I reached down at his belt buckle and fumbled with the clasp.

“Leah,” He stopped and looked at me. “Are you sure you want to do this.”

I smiled. “Of course.” I kissed him again but he pulled away.

“Leah, you’ve been drinking,” he said, concerned.

“I’m fine,” I said, kissing him again. “I didn’t have that much to drink.” I had lost track of how many drinks I had though, and I knew I was a little drunk.

He kissed me again. I felt his hands slip under my shirt and rest on my waist. I grabbed his face and kissed him harder before reaching down at his belt again.

“Leah,” he said, pulling away again. “I can’t do this.” He sat up next to me.

I felt my stomach drop. “What?” My eyes started watering and I lifted myself onto my elbows.

He shook his head and looked down into my eyes, “I’m sorry.”

“Oh my God.” I pushed past him and I ran out of the room, down the stairs.

I could feel a tear running down my cheek now. I spotted Kira with Kennedy and turned away before she saw me. I wouldn’t be able to explain this to her.

“Leah,” Pat said. He had a worried expression. “What’s wrong?”

“Can you take me home?” I asked. “Please?”

“What happened?” he questioned.

“Please just take me home,” I begged. Tears were streaming down my face. “Now?"