In the Sound

There was a look of fire in Herschel’s eyes.

His lips were set in that strict, no-shit Herschel kind of way. It made me think he must’ve been a hell of a guy when he was younger.

“We gon’ take em all on?” Daryl’s gruff voice was the only thing keeping me grounded.

“We have guns, we have cars,” Herschel replied.

Daryl looked at him skeptically, fingers running along his shotgun. His crossbow was slung over his shoulder in a casual way. He stressed a hand over greasy hair.

Andrea was knelt beside him, swaying her head left and right like she was trying to crack it or something. She looked ready, fierce. But she was probably quivering in her boots just as hard as I was. The walkers were slow, but they washed down like thousands of ants. Their groans echoed in my ears, making my heart hammer as hard as it could in the crevice of my chest. Herschel was passing out guns. Glenn and Maggie were clinging onto each other’s elbows. I paced. Paced and paced until my feet hurt. Kit sat in the corner, watching my toes.

None of us wanted to face a herd this big. It was death.

Andrea slowly stretched to a tall stand, palming ammo into the base of her pistol. “Kill as many as we can, then we use the cars to lead the rest of em off the farm.”

I didn’t like the sound of that.

I paced around the porch for the fourth time, stings going up my legs.

Daryl cocked an eyebrow, “Ya serious?”

Herschel ambled towards the steps of the porch, his thin eyes watching out for the wave of death approaching. “This is my farm,” he said gravely. “I’ll die here.”

The group separated at that, spreading off into different directions. They knew where to go. What to do. They knew their place in the group.

“Alright. It’s a good a night as any,” said Dixon.

T-Dog piped in next, “Who’s gonna shoot?”

“I will,” Andrea chimed. “We can take the ute.”

They edged around the group, whispering goodbyes to each person. I dropped to my knees; arms open so that Kit could scramble onto my lap. His nose dipped at my neck, wet and cold. My fingers threaded into his caramel coat.

“You stay inside. Guard the women,” I said firmly.

I held tightly onto his ears, staring into those glossy little bulbs. He blinked at me sadly. He didn’t want to leave me. I didn’t want to leave him. But he couldn’t be out here with me. He wasn’t the way he used to be. Wasn’t as fierce.

A muted whimper sounded from his throat. I pressed my nose against his, lids fluttering to a shut. “I love you, Kit.”

After giving him a little scratch, I patted his back and urged him back inside. My eardrums thundered.

Andrea had already started shooting.

Glenn was pushing a gun into Jimmy’s hands, and then one into mine. I stared at it for a moment, stared at it like a frozen monkey. He shook it a bit to wake me up. Bulbs flickering up to his face, I cradled the gun into my arms.

“Maggie you can drive,” Glenn rambled. I could hardly hear his voice over the sounds of Andrea’s shots. “I’ll shoot!”

Next, they were tumbling down the porch stairs and into the dark. I could hear the rumble of an engine, headlights shining against the sea of bodies. Their rotted little faces lit up, scrunched up eyes facing the light.

“What about the R.V?” I shouted, turning my face between Jimmy and Daryl.

Herschel was too ready to die. He jaw extra tight. Eyes dark. He took slow steps over the grass. Shot and then shot. Reload. Shells flying. Another shot. I couldn’t leave him like that.

Jimmy jingled the keys in his lean fingers, “I’ll take it.”

I nodded gratefully, spreading my arms around him like birds wings. He sheltered into my hug before skipping off towards the RV. I hoped to god the kid would be okay.

I turned to Dixon, my stomach pitting. His arm rested on a pole, his hollowed cheeks pointed down at my shoes like they were the most interesting things in the world. But all I could think about, all I could think was that I didn’t want to make that stupid mistake all over again. The last thing I’d ever said to my Dad was useless. I couldn’t do it again. It had to be meaningful this time.

“Daryl I-” I fumbled.

“Aint gotta say anythin.’ Ya hang on as long as I do ‘member?” He cooed.

I found myself nodding softly, “I’m stayin’ with Herschel, help him fend off the house.”

“I’ll be on the bike, gotta help ‘em out there.”

The strings of my heart pulled. His pressed his chin against my forehead, and I felt the stubble scratching at my skin. I buried my nose deep into his chest. He was warm. Calm.

Daryl didn’t wrap his arms around me. Didn’t hug me. Didn’t kiss me. He just rested his chin on my head for a moment, sucking as much of me in as he could. And in a second, the warm feeling was gone. He was edging away from me, chewing at his lip.

“Show ‘em what a no good priss like you can do,” his rough lips cracked into a small smile.

I mirrored it, stomach filled with happy little tingles. Daryl took one more backwards step before he spun on his feet. His boots tapped heavily on the porch steps as he skipped down. They creaked viciously as I followed him.

“Dixon!” I yelled. Daryl swiveled around to face me, still ambling backwards in a steady pace. Shadows were coating him. I could barely see his face.

“What?”

“Stay safe, ya dumb hick.”

It was dark but I could just make it out. The softest hint of a grin wedging up his cheeks.

“Always.”

And with that, he was gone.

I stared at the space where Daryl had stood, hoping he’d run back. But he never did. Slowly, my feet dug into the ground. I turned back to the rainfall of gunshots firing behind me. Herschel’s straight arms were locked into position. Sparks erupted from the end of his shotgun. He shifted it in the slightest way before pulling against the trigger again.

Trudging back over, I watched the bodies topple to the ground in a heap. I drew a deep breath, cautiously hovering by Herschel’s side. The gun was sweaty in my palms, so I gripped it even tighter.

“So, that favor you offered, for saving Kit.”

I pointed the gun at a walker stumbling towards me. One eye shut. I pulled my finger against the trigger. A hole creaked through its head before it crumpled to the grassy floor.

I scoffed, “ya really wanna ask a favor right now?”

He fiddled with his gun and glanced at me.

“Watch my back.”