The Desolate

“Miss? Miss, can you explain to me what happened, please?”

The young woman slowly looked up at the police officer crouching down beside her curled up frame in the corner of the hospital room, her green eyes raw and stinging. He wore a gentle and sympathetic expression, one that made her feel even worse than she already did.

“Would you like some water? A blanket? I can help you up to your bed, if you’d like?” he offered, a sincere smile creeping onto his aged face. He was being far too nice to the girl, she thought, and it pained her whole being.

No one should be treating her this nicely. Not when she believed she didn’t deserve it.

The redhead shook her head in reply, only wanting to wake up and realise this was all a horrific nightmare. She could hardly cope with the incident that just happened, so how was she going to deal living with it for the rest of her life? It was all her fault.

“I really need you to talk to me, Sarah. What happened tonight?”

She wiped her eyes and cleared her throat, though her voice was still croaky. “Ddo you just want to know about the…the accident? Or the run-up to it, as well?”

“As much as you can tell me,” he answered, giving the feeble female another supportive smile before standing and backing up until he reach a table and chair. Sarah, however, remained on the cold, hard floor. Right where she thought she belonged.

“Umm…well, we were all at this p-party,” she started, gulping back the tears that were screaming to be released. “J-Joe was our designated driver for the night which he, eh, he didn’t have a problem with. He preferred to drive, he…he always wanted to make sure everyone else was s-safe and happy. He a-always put others b-before him-himself,” she squeezed her eyes shut as a sob tore out from against her will.

“Uh, anyway, Joe and I had gotten into an ar-argument earlier on in the day, just mundane c-couple stuff really. But at the party I was st-still angry, so I got really drunk. Stupidly drunk. To the point where I ended up m-making out w-with some random dude to s-spite Joe,” the tears she had been holding back were starting to break free, though she knew there was no point in trying to contain them anyway. They streaked her cut up and bruised cheeks as, one after the other, they fell.

“I could see how h-hurt and infuriated he was b-but only part of me cared. He dr-dragged me outside where we continued to fight before he w-went back in to get our friends, Amy and Chris. It was only after 12 so they were pretty an-annoyed at having to leave early. Joe just said to blame m-me.

“The roads were s-slick with ice. It didn’t help that the house party was in the middle of nowhere, hidden amongst some tr-trees, and that w-we didn’t know the road that well. But Joe was always a c-careful driver.” Sarah wiped her eyes and clenched her teeth; she didn’t want to continue. She just wanted to be left alone, to be smothered by her sorrow.

“You’re doing really well, Sarah, really well. What happened next?” the officer pushed gently. He continued to make notes of the things she was saying, his face staying ever so composed.

The redhead tried to run her fingers through her hair but only got them stuck in the matted, bloody mess. She wasn’t too sure if it was her own blood or somebody else’s, making her more emotional. “How are my friends?” she asked, instead of answering the policeman’s question.

“They’re fine. You can see them once you’ve told me everything.”

Nodding her head, her bottom lip quivering as more tears descended, she tried to assemble her thoughts. “Umm…s-so we were driving along in silence, the car w-was full of tension. I h-hated it. I kept attempting to make c-conversation but Joe wasn’t giving in.

“We were a-about 15 minutes into the drive when I st-started crying. It was pr-probably the alcohol but it g-got Joe’s attention. He looked o-over at me and after a moment, he, eh, he put his hand on m-my knee. It was my fault he g-got dis-distracted,” she choked out, a heartbreaking sob entwined.

Taking a minute to compose herself, her eyes glued to the bandages on her hands and arms, she stuttered out the next scene. “It w-was then when I s-saw the oncoming car. I di-didn’t know what to d-do so I j-just screamed. Joe j-jerked the steering wheel quickly to g-get us back onto our side of the r-road, b-but we hit black ice.

“The c-car spun out and Joe tried his h-hardest to gain control but nothing w-worked,” Sarah rushed out. “We ended up going off the v-verge of an em-embank-embankment a-and rolling down the hill. Our bodies were bashing off of ev-everything as the car t-tumbled down un-until we came to a-an abrupt h-halt,” she cried, tears stinging the cuts on her face.

Gazing at the officer, her green eyes bloodshot and weary, she howled. “The cr-crash just hap-happened and no-no one saw it c-coming!”

After another couple minutes of weeping into her hands, the officer asked her to continue. “Chris and Amy had g-gotten out of the c-car but Joe, he was limp. I st-started shouting and screaming at him, but he wouldn’t w-wake up. I ch-checked his pulse and could still f-feel it so I knew he was still a-a-alive,” she gulped. “I m-managed to get out of th-the car but Joe’s side w-was crushed so much that the, eh, the d-door wouldn't open. So I h-had to climb b-back in and p-pull him out.

“Th-that was when I smelled the fuel and sm-smoke. I knew it wasn’t s-safe but I w-was ad-adamant to g-get him out of there,” she sniffed. “I fumbled with his s-seatbelt but it was c-caught. I kept trying to f-free it and that’s wh-when, that's when I heard a-a sparking sound. I worked f-faster and p-put all my strength into g-getting him out, b-but then I felt ar-arms around m-my w-waist and I was being pulled fr-from the wreck.”

Sarah’s tears were inconsolable and uncontrollable. The only sound in the hospital room was her wailing and the steady breathing of the police officer. A nurse had tried to come in but the man shooed her away. He was getting the whole story and he didn’t want to be interrupted.

“N-no matter how har-hard I kicked and sc-screamed for them to l-let me go, they d-didn‘t. Then…then there w-was a loud bang. The c-car w-went up in fl-flames so quickly, I didn’t know wh-what to do! I f-fought myself free a-a-and cr-crawled to the car but an-another pair of arms took h-hold of me and threw m-me away from the b-burning wreck-wreckage.”

She took a deep breath as she fell completely to pieces. “I c-couldn’t stop screaming f-for J-Joe. I-I didn’t w-want to leave h-him,” the girl sobbed her last words.

The officer continued to write down all that she had said, taking note of her emotions and how he suspected she would need psychiatric support. He couldn’t help but feel for the young woman, understanding how helpless and guilty she felt. She was fractured in more ways than one. He stood up and crouched down beside her again, placing a hand on her back and rubbing it in soothing circles.

She was so young, so vulnerable.

He only hoped the memories wouldn’t shatter what was left of her.