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Remembering Sunday
Cancer Sucks
**Wednesday’s POV**
That Sunday was the last good day I had left.
I could feel the disease in my body. It dragged me down, it hurt. I felt like Atlas with the weight of the world upon my shoulders, but that weight was cancer.
It hurt me to hurt Jack. I knew I was killing him and I slowly died. There was nothing anybody could do anymore. I was a goner. My brain hurt, my chest was tight, my lungs constantly wanting to give up but I willed them to go on.
I wanted nothing more than to be the healthy, A-OKAY girlfriend he wanted.
I didn’t leave bed much, I threw up pretty much everything I ate. No good news came my way, the doctors told me that eventually I would be in a wheel chair, if I lived longer than a month.
I knew I couldn’t.
**Jack's POV**
I didn't go see Wednesday today. I laid in bed all day, staring at the white plaster ceiling of my bedroom, wishing she were here beside me, healthy, her cheeks round and rosy, her eyes bright and alive. Wishing she wasn't cancer ridden. Wishing she was still the Wednesday I knew and fell in love with. Wishing we could repeat our last good day together over and over again.
She was always so angry. Angry at me, at God, and the drugs keeping her alive. I let it happen though. I let her take it out on me, knowing that deep down that she wasn't really angry with me and that maybe it was helping her and I both.
Tears fell down my cheeks. I'm not sure how long I laid there in self pity. There were knocks on my door and countless shouts of my name from below but I wasn't going anywhere.
I just simply didn't want to exist anymore.
My phone rang, "Seize the Day" by Avenged Sevenfold blaring through the speaker letting me know that Wednesday was calling me.
I sniffled and wiped my tears before answering, trying to sound like I hadn't been crying.
"Jack?" She said, her voice ragged and worn down. I could hear her breathing machine in the back ground.
"Yes dear?" I replied.
"You didn't come see me today," she stated and my heart jumped into my throat.
I immediately felt guilty.
"I'm sorry," I didn't know what else to say.
"You always say that."
"I know. I'm sorry."
"Jack just fucking stop. I don't want you to be sorry for me. It's not my fault I got this shit disease. It's not like I asked to have it. I'm sorry I couldn't be the perfect girlfriend you dreamed of. I'm sorry I can walk along the beach with you or do normal teenage things. I'm sorry you're stuck pushing me around in a fucking wheel chair and pulling around my stupid fucking oxygen tank. I didn't ask for this. I'm. Fucking. Sorry." she yelled into the phone.
"You really think that matters to me Wednesday? Really!? When has it mattered to me that you have a disease. Have I ever fucking complained? No. Have I fucking left yet? I've been here the whole fucking time when no one else has! You've just been too blinded by your own disease to notice!" I shouted and immediately regretted it as soon as the words left my lips. I never yelled back. Never.
I heard her sniffle and begin to cry on the other end.
"Oh god Wednes. I'm so sorry," I sobbed. "I didn't mean any of that."
She sobbed harder. "I deserved that."
"No you didn't. Oh god I'm a horrible person."
"It's the truth. I'm so sorry Jack. I'm so so sorry I've been putting you through this. I just can't stand it anymore," she replied.
"It's been hard for both of us Wednes. I know it's not really your fault but you really do need to lighten up. Don't be so negative please," I begged.
"I try Jack. I really do. I'm so sorry. I love you."
"Ditto kid."
She hung up.
***
After our argument over the phone, I went and saw her everyday. I spent every single day with her. I watched her deteriorate and get worse, dreading the day I would have to say good bye. I wished I could take it all away. Put the burden into my body and let her have her health.
But that was impossible.
But I continued giving her roses. Everyday I would show up with one. But one day when she was at her worst, I bought a fake one. I handed it to her and kissed her cheek.
"When the final one dies is when I'll stop loving you," I whispered. We sat together in her hospital bed in silence. Just the beeps of her machines and the birds outside.
Then I left, not knowing that my worst nightmares were about to come true.
**Wednesday's POV**
After Jack had left I sat in my room and stared at the rose. I felt horrible. My body ached. I could tell something bad was going to happen. I'm not sure why, but your body seems to know when things are going to go sour, so I pulled out a pad of paper and pen and began writing.
Dear mom, dear dad, tears pouring down my face as I did so, but I wrote each a letter of how much I loved them, how sorry I was and finally thanking them for everything they had done for me.
And finally I wrote one to Jack.
I'm not sure when I fell asleep but eventually I rolled over and closed my eyes, letting the exhaustion lull me to sleep. Sleep heals, or so they tell me.
I dreamt of walking somewhere, Jack holding my hand and humming some tune I didn't recognize. The sun was bright, the water blue. But then everything turned dark. The sun disappeared and the water turned choppy. Jack began to deteriorate, his cheeks becoming shrunken in and his legs crippling. I began to scream.
I jolted awake. My chest felt constricted and I began coughing, and coughing. I would cough, then gasp for air. Eventually blood started to come up with the coughs. I began sobbing and coughing at the same time. I knew I needed to get someone's attention but I couldn't yell over the great coughs that rattled my chest and shook my entire body. I rolled over, trying to reach my phone to call my parents and possibly wake them, but got tangled in my tubes and ended up crashing to the floor, hitting my head on the stand on the way down.
Then I began vomiting. I blindly searched for my phone, flailing on the floor, blinded by tears and covered in my own puke. My hand hit it and I succeeded in sitting up so I could speed dial my parents, but suddenly my door burst open and my dad ran in.
"Oh god, HONEY COME QUICK!" He yelled. "Wednesday? Honey?"
I vomited again, and tried to speak but didn't succeed. The only word I could push out before I blacked out was Jack.
**Jack's POV**
It was just after three in the morning when my phone began to ring. I picked it up and blindly stared at the screen, waiting for my blurry vision to clear. The screen read Wednesday's Mom.
Oh god. My heart dropped into my stomach and I couldn't breathe.
"Hello?"
"Jack, she- she's g- gone. I'm so s- sorry Jack," Mrs. McAddams sobbed into the phone.
I went numb. The phone fell from my hands and crashed to the floor.
It finally happened. My worst nightmare, come to life.
Cancer sucks.
That Sunday was the last good day I had left.
I could feel the disease in my body. It dragged me down, it hurt. I felt like Atlas with the weight of the world upon my shoulders, but that weight was cancer.
It hurt me to hurt Jack. I knew I was killing him and I slowly died. There was nothing anybody could do anymore. I was a goner. My brain hurt, my chest was tight, my lungs constantly wanting to give up but I willed them to go on.
I wanted nothing more than to be the healthy, A-OKAY girlfriend he wanted.
I didn’t leave bed much, I threw up pretty much everything I ate. No good news came my way, the doctors told me that eventually I would be in a wheel chair, if I lived longer than a month.
I knew I couldn’t.
**Jack's POV**
I didn't go see Wednesday today. I laid in bed all day, staring at the white plaster ceiling of my bedroom, wishing she were here beside me, healthy, her cheeks round and rosy, her eyes bright and alive. Wishing she wasn't cancer ridden. Wishing she was still the Wednesday I knew and fell in love with. Wishing we could repeat our last good day together over and over again.
She was always so angry. Angry at me, at God, and the drugs keeping her alive. I let it happen though. I let her take it out on me, knowing that deep down that she wasn't really angry with me and that maybe it was helping her and I both.
Tears fell down my cheeks. I'm not sure how long I laid there in self pity. There were knocks on my door and countless shouts of my name from below but I wasn't going anywhere.
I just simply didn't want to exist anymore.
My phone rang, "Seize the Day" by Avenged Sevenfold blaring through the speaker letting me know that Wednesday was calling me.
I sniffled and wiped my tears before answering, trying to sound like I hadn't been crying.
"Jack?" She said, her voice ragged and worn down. I could hear her breathing machine in the back ground.
"Yes dear?" I replied.
"You didn't come see me today," she stated and my heart jumped into my throat.
I immediately felt guilty.
"I'm sorry," I didn't know what else to say.
"You always say that."
"I know. I'm sorry."
"Jack just fucking stop. I don't want you to be sorry for me. It's not my fault I got this shit disease. It's not like I asked to have it. I'm sorry I couldn't be the perfect girlfriend you dreamed of. I'm sorry I can walk along the beach with you or do normal teenage things. I'm sorry you're stuck pushing me around in a fucking wheel chair and pulling around my stupid fucking oxygen tank. I didn't ask for this. I'm. Fucking. Sorry." she yelled into the phone.
"You really think that matters to me Wednesday? Really!? When has it mattered to me that you have a disease. Have I ever fucking complained? No. Have I fucking left yet? I've been here the whole fucking time when no one else has! You've just been too blinded by your own disease to notice!" I shouted and immediately regretted it as soon as the words left my lips. I never yelled back. Never.
I heard her sniffle and begin to cry on the other end.
"Oh god Wednes. I'm so sorry," I sobbed. "I didn't mean any of that."
She sobbed harder. "I deserved that."
"No you didn't. Oh god I'm a horrible person."
"It's the truth. I'm so sorry Jack. I'm so so sorry I've been putting you through this. I just can't stand it anymore," she replied.
"It's been hard for both of us Wednes. I know it's not really your fault but you really do need to lighten up. Don't be so negative please," I begged.
"I try Jack. I really do. I'm so sorry. I love you."
"Ditto kid."
She hung up.
***
After our argument over the phone, I went and saw her everyday. I spent every single day with her. I watched her deteriorate and get worse, dreading the day I would have to say good bye. I wished I could take it all away. Put the burden into my body and let her have her health.
But that was impossible.
But I continued giving her roses. Everyday I would show up with one. But one day when she was at her worst, I bought a fake one. I handed it to her and kissed her cheek.
"When the final one dies is when I'll stop loving you," I whispered. We sat together in her hospital bed in silence. Just the beeps of her machines and the birds outside.
Then I left, not knowing that my worst nightmares were about to come true.
**Wednesday's POV**
After Jack had left I sat in my room and stared at the rose. I felt horrible. My body ached. I could tell something bad was going to happen. I'm not sure why, but your body seems to know when things are going to go sour, so I pulled out a pad of paper and pen and began writing.
Dear mom, dear dad, tears pouring down my face as I did so, but I wrote each a letter of how much I loved them, how sorry I was and finally thanking them for everything they had done for me.
And finally I wrote one to Jack.
I'm not sure when I fell asleep but eventually I rolled over and closed my eyes, letting the exhaustion lull me to sleep. Sleep heals, or so they tell me.
I dreamt of walking somewhere, Jack holding my hand and humming some tune I didn't recognize. The sun was bright, the water blue. But then everything turned dark. The sun disappeared and the water turned choppy. Jack began to deteriorate, his cheeks becoming shrunken in and his legs crippling. I began to scream.
I jolted awake. My chest felt constricted and I began coughing, and coughing. I would cough, then gasp for air. Eventually blood started to come up with the coughs. I began sobbing and coughing at the same time. I knew I needed to get someone's attention but I couldn't yell over the great coughs that rattled my chest and shook my entire body. I rolled over, trying to reach my phone to call my parents and possibly wake them, but got tangled in my tubes and ended up crashing to the floor, hitting my head on the stand on the way down.
Then I began vomiting. I blindly searched for my phone, flailing on the floor, blinded by tears and covered in my own puke. My hand hit it and I succeeded in sitting up so I could speed dial my parents, but suddenly my door burst open and my dad ran in.
"Oh god, HONEY COME QUICK!" He yelled. "Wednesday? Honey?"
I vomited again, and tried to speak but didn't succeed. The only word I could push out before I blacked out was Jack.
**Jack's POV**
It was just after three in the morning when my phone began to ring. I picked it up and blindly stared at the screen, waiting for my blurry vision to clear. The screen read Wednesday's Mom.
Oh god. My heart dropped into my stomach and I couldn't breathe.
"Hello?"
"Jack, she- she's g- gone. I'm so s- sorry Jack," Mrs. McAddams sobbed into the phone.
I went numb. The phone fell from my hands and crashed to the floor.
It finally happened. My worst nightmare, come to life.
Cancer sucks.