Blue Toothbrush

A cool summer breeze tossed the lace curtains from their spots in front of the half opened window. The sound of the ocean filled the otherwise quiet of the early morning. Anjilika was lying in her unmade bed staring at the white ceiling above her. The yellow sheets were tangled around her legs and though it irritated her, she didn't dare move them. Her mind was too full of torturing thoughts to really care about anything else.

It'd been six months since he had left. He wanted the fame, the recognition and the adoration his older brother had. He wanted to be an actor.

He wanted it more than her.

Releasing the breath she hadn't even been aware of holding, her dark curls flew into the humid air. The summer in Australia had been a hot one and half of the time she didn't even leave the bedroom. The air conditioner was busted and the fan on the nightstand was barely enough to keep the sweat off of her skin. Even now, she was dressed in only her panties and a simple spaghetti strap tank top.

With a groan, Anjilika pulled herself from the comfort of her full sized mattress and slipped on her flip flops. They were the only thing that kept her feet from sticking to the hardwood as she walked to the bathroom. Stopping at her old, slight rusted sink, Anjilika turned the knob and waited as the cold water flowed from the faucet. Her fingers trailed in the liquid looking for an answer to her problems as the temperature sent a stinging pain through her skin.

Life had been so much simpler six months ago. As if she lived in a dream and nothing could wake her. Her longtime boyfriend, Liam, had been by her side in this cramped one bedroom apartment. He installed flooring in homes. She worked as a supervisor for a small old folk's home down the street. They had gotten by just fine and she was content with living their lives this way. Sure, it wasn't the best type of living, but she was happy. She had a job, a home and Liam.

Now she didn't.

With a sigh, Anjilika placed her cupped hands into the water and waited for them to fill. Then she splashed the cold liquid over her face in an attempt to both wake up and cool down. Droplets of water fell from her chin and back into the sink. Turning the water off, she reached for the towel hanging on the rack beside the sink. The rough, warm fabric scratched her sensitive cheeks as she dried herself off. It was about the only thing she felt nowadays.

Dropping the towel to the ground, Anjilika leaned towards the old mirror and gazed at the person staring back at her. She hadn't attempted anything with her appearance in months and today was going to be more of the same. The dark circles under her lifeless blue eyes made her look gaunt. It was a good comparison to how she'd been spending her days. She haunted her own apartment day and night when she wasn't working and yet, ghosts had a purpose to exist. They had a reason to remain on Earth instead of crossing over. They had family, or friends, or unfinished business.

Her family was, for all intents and purposes, useless. She never did get along with her parents. Her older brother was her best friend, but he'd gotten married last year. His wife was pregnant with their first child. She was the little sister who was brokenhearted and lost. The sister who had no idea what she was doing.

Pulling her mass of curls back into a ponytail, Anjilika attempted to clean up. She might not be leaving the house today, again, but she could at least wash her face and look somewhat human. As she reached for her toothbrush, she paused, hand still hanging in midair.

How could she forget it was still there?

The white and blue toothbrush sat in the cup taunting her. It was the only thing she had left of him. The one thing she couldn't find it inside of herself to toss. When Liam had left for Hollywood, he had taken everything with him but this one thing. It was all she could do to look at it. If she had to throw it out, Anjilika knew it would mean that their relationship was over for real. She wasn't ready to admit that.

Shuffling from the bathroom towards the kitchen, Anjilika rubbed whatever sleep was left from her eyes. She needed to find a distraction. Anything to keep Liam from her mind. Her footsteps made thumps against the floorboards as she made her way to the refrigerator. Reaching up to grab the box of cereal, she placed it on the counter before reaching into the cabinets for a bowl. Once armed with breakfast, Anjilika moved to pull the chair out so she could sit when the sound of the front door opening caught her attention.

With her forehead scrunched, she left the chair where it was and exited the kitchen. As she made the turn into the living room, she froze at the sight in front of her.

A man stood in the doorway with a rolling suitcase by his side and a duffel bag slung over his shoulder. He stood about six foot three to her five foot eleven inches. Light brown hair was spiked up in a messy way that she knew too well. A pair of bright blue eyes found their way in her direction before widening in surprise.

“Anjilika?” Liam's accent hit her like a whip.

Without a word, Anjilika turned on her heels to return to the kitchen. She could hear Liam's heavy steps following her, but she ignored them. Instead, she went immediately to the cabinet and grabbed the first thing she found. As she poured the whiskey into the mug that was meant for her morning coffee, the footsteps suddenly stopped. It was obvious that he was in the room with her.

Lifting the mug to her lips, Anjilika gulped down the bitter alcohol as fast as her throat would allow her. This was all a bad dream. It had to be. There was no way Liam could be here.

“Anjil? Please look at me.” His tender voice floated around her and she almost shuddered. This was not something she was prepared for. She never expected him to return.

Gripping the whiskey in her hand again, she lifted it to drink straight from the bottle. He wasn't there. She was imagining him. It was her depression playing with her mind again.

A warm hand wrapped around hers stopping her from drinking the liquor. At the shock of his touch, Anjilika released the bottle from her grip. Liam caught it easily and replaced it to the counter. Then he put his hands on her shoulders so she couldn't run. It was the first thought on her mind until she met his gaze. The light blue of his irises sparkled with tears as he watched her try to function like a normal human being.

“Anjil... I'm sorry.”

A sob caught in her throat before she could stop it. “Why?”

Liam's arms wrapped around her and pulled her to his chest. “I wanted to give you everything you ever wanted. I never meant to hurt you.”

Shaking her head, Anjilika pulled away so she could level him with a glare through the tears. “All I ever wanted was you, Liam. But you wanted to be famous like Chris.”

“That's not it at all!” He said, but she didn't want to hear the excuses. She wanted the truth.

Crossing her arms in front of her chest, she waited for him to fall silent so she could continue. “Why did you leave me here and go to the States? Why did you give all of this up for fame?”

With a sigh, Liam put his hands in his pockets and met her gaze without hesitation. “I gave it up so I could make a better life for us. I didn't want you to have to work at the old folk's place for the rest of your life, Anjil. I don't want us to live in this tiny apartment forever. I … I love you too much to let you do that.”

The words floated on the humid air around them. Not once had Liam ever said those three words to Anjilika and there they were. As if he had always felt them. Her breath caught and terrified for what this meant, she searched his gaze for the answer.

Liam, understanding what she was looking for, nodded with a small smile. “I love you, Anjilika. I always have. I've never stopped.”

“What about your dream?” It was all she could manage to ask.

“Acting isn't my dream. It's building a life with you.” Liam held his hand out towards Anjilika and left it hanging in midair. “I'll never leave you again.”

Anjilika glanced at his hand before back up to his eyes. He stood in that position while he waited for her to make her decision. Then an image flashed into her mind.

His blue toothbrush.

She couldn't get rid of it in the six months he'd been gone. There was no way she could get turn him away now. Placing her hand into his softly as if she believed this were still a dream, Anjilika licked her lips before she found her voice. “I love you, Liam.”

Roughly, Liam pulled Anjilika back to his chest before leaning down to touch his lips to hers. They were soft at first then turned demanding as he fed on the passion they shared. Anjilika nearly drowned under the feelings she had turned off for so long, but if she died in that moment, she'd die happy.