Here We Come Sin City...Uh Oh!

I was lightly rubbing the back of my head while I was sitting on Tyson's couch.

You ok Harper?" Tyson asked curiously.

The only reason he knows my name is because I told him on the way here to his house.

"I don't really know anymore. This trip was supposed to be fun but look how it turned out. We get ruffied by our friend, then another friend goes missing and his wedding is tomorrow. I get married to my brother's friend, we get in trouble with the law, we steal your tiger and on top of that my head is killing me because we had someone in the trunk of the car and he beat us with a crowbar."

"Have you taken anything for your head?"

"I haven't had time."

I had my eyes closed and I could feel Tyson moving around on the couch.

"Here."

I opened my eyes to see him holding an Advil pill bottle and his body guard came back with a glass of water.

"Don't take this the wrong way or anything but...How do I know if there's actually Advil in there?"

"The bottle hasn't been opened yet."

I took the bottle and shook out a few pills then took the glass of water to wash the pills down.

"Thanks."

"No problem. By the way if you would like to lay down, he can show you where the spare room is."

"I can stay right here."

"C'mon," The bodyguard said.

I hesitated but got up and followed with my glass. When I got into the spare room, it was beautiful. The walls were a maroon color, there was a crystal chandelier in the middle, double french doors to the balcony, maroon bed sheets, a TV, a couple of black leather recliners, and a bathroom.

"Wow."

"Glad you're comfortable in here. Since we don't know you that well Tyson wants me to lock you in here until your guys show up."

"That's understandable. I'll be perfectly fine."'

He gave a nod then left, but not before locking the door. I took a few more minutes of looking around the room before I settled on the bed and passed out.

Room service showed up 45 minutes later after Harper left with Tyson. As soon as the door shut they started thinking of a plan on how to get the tiger back to Tyson. Phil suggested to get some raw steak and put the ruffies in it. Phil and Stu played rock-paper-scissors to see which one got to deliver the raw meat, of course Stu lost. After they stuck the ruffies in the steak Alan started puting pepper on it.

"Why are you peppering the steak? You don't know if tigers like pepper ," Stu said.

"Tigers love pepper. They hate cinnamon," Alan stated.

"Phil just do it. You should do it."

"I would but you lost. Wouldn't be right."

"Ok. I jammed five ruffies in there. Just go in there and throw it to him."

"Fine."

Stu got up and went to the bathroom. He opened the door carefully poking his head through the crack, then his whole body.

"Fuck," he muttered.

Stu slowly came around the corner saying softly,

"Hi kitty. Hey sweetie, it's ok. I got a little snack for you. Real important that you eat this, ok? Just have a little- Ahh!"

He ran out the bathroom door when the tiger took a swing at him.

"What do we do now?"

"We wait," Alan said simply.

Alan sat in a chair, Phil started reading through a magazine, and Stu started playing the piano.

"What do tigers dream of when they take their little tiger snooze? Do they dream of mauling zebras, or Halle Berry in her Catwoman suit? Don't you worry your pretty striped head, we're gonna get you back to Tyson and your cozy tiger bed. And then we're gonna find our best friend Doug, and then we're gonna give him a best friend hug. Doug, Doug, oh! Doug, Dougie, Dougie, Doug, Doug! But if he's been murdered by crystal meth tweakers,

Stu paused when he heard groan and a loud thump coming from the bathroom.

"Well then we're shit out of luck," he finished.

Stu quickly left the room to get a luggage cart then came back in time for Phil and Alan to put the tiger on it. They wrapped it up and started out of the hotel room. They finally got it into the car after running it's nose into walls and doors.

"Hey guys, when's the next Haley's comet?" Alan asked.

"Who cares, man."

"Do you know Stu?"

"I don't think it's for like another sixty years or something."

"But it's not tonight right?"

"No I don't think so."

"But you don't know for sure? I have this cousin Marcus who saw one he said it blew his mind I want to make sure I never ever miss out on a Haley's comet. So if you guys know if there's ever going to be one-" Alan was interrupted by a roar.

All three of them started freaking out. The tiger scratched Phil on the shoulder and he came to a stop and they all got out. The tiger kicked out the little back window and started demolishing the interior of the car.

"Stu! Stu! It got me!" Phil said freaking out.

"Oh my God! You're bleeding!" Stu said freaked out too.

"How are we going to get it to his house now?" Stu asked after he calmed down a bit.

"We have to push it," Phil said simply.

"No! No way!"

"C'mon Stu. Mike might have clues to where Doug went and don't forget he has your sister which happens to be my wife!"

Stu groaned and they started pushing the car the rest of the way.

I woke up to a light knock on the door.

"Come in," I said sleepily.

The door opened and revealed Tyson.

"They're coming up the drive right now. Does your head feel any better?"

"Yeah. A lot better. Thank you for letting me take something and sleep."

He smiled and I got up and followed him back to the living room. I sat down on the couch that I was sitting on earlier when the three of them came in. Phil rushed to me and kissed me.

"Are you ok?"

"I'm fine," I said. "Phil what happened to your shoulder?" I asked panicked.

"Don't worry about it. Your head any better?"

I nodded still looking at his shoulder. After a few minutes everybody was sitting down.

"After we got back Harper took something for her headache and layed down while we went through security cameras."

"Great," Phil said.

The bodyguard pushed play on the remote and the video started. All of us were stumbling along in Tyson's yard. When we saw Doug we let out our own reliefs. Alan and Stu were rambling on about Doug and Tyson told them to watched the tape and they did without another word. Alan showed up on the TV and se said,

"That's me. I'm on TV. I've never been on TV before."

Oh brother. Alan!

Alan was walking on rocks and finally came to a stop to urinate in the water. We all looked at him in disgust.

"Really? Really Alan?" Phil asked.

"Should I wait outside?"

"I think that's a good idea Alan," Tyson said as nicely as he could.

"Don't touch anything out there either," The bodyguard said.

Alan went outside and Stu said,

"You know what? He's...He's not our good fr- We don't know him that well," Stu stuttered then looked back to the screen.

There we were waking the tiger, which was willingly coming to the police car.

"By the way man, where you get that cop car from?" Tyson asked curiously.

"We uh, stole it from these dumbass cops," Stu said trying to sound cool.

"Nice!" Tyson said laughing, "Nice! High five there!" Tyson and Stu high fived, "That's nice!"

"You know I just have to say I've never seen a more beautiful, elegant, regal creature."

Then we heard Phil on the TV saying,

"Check it out. Stu! Stu, fuck this tiger!"

I looked over at Phil like he was crazy.

"Aw, man! Who does shit like that, man?"

"Someone who has a lotta issues, obviously. I'm a sick man."

The conversation was cut short when we heard a female sounding moan coming from the TV. We looked at it and I was on the hood of the car with me clung to Phil. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what we were doing on that car. It would've been an understatement when I say I was embarrassed and sick to my stomach to watch. I looked over at my brother, he looked livid and disgusted. Then I looked at Phil, he was watching intently.

"I think I'm going to go get some air," I said lowly.

I got up and Phil reached his hand out to me but I pulled my hand away and went outside. I took a deep breath to clear my head. A few minutes later they came out and we got in the car.

Doug's going to kill us when he sees this car.

While we were driving Stu decided to break the awkward silence by saying,

"You know, everyone says Mike Tyson is such a badass, but I think he's kind of a sweetheart."

"I think he's mean."

I rolled my eyes at Alan.

I can't believe I'm sitting by him right now.

"Alright. I think it's officially time to call Tracy," Phil said.

"Hallelujah! Phil finally says something that makes sense."

"I mean, we don't really have much of a choice. And who knows, maybe she's heard from Doug."

"That's what I've been saying this whole time."

"We just need to be completely honest and tell her everything."

"We don't have to tell her everything."

What!? My brother doesn't want to be completely honest!?

"I mean we can leave out the stuff me marrying a hooker and you marrying my sister. We just need to stay focused on Doug."

"What am I going to tell my dad about this car?"

"That it was your fault that this happened," I growled out.

"Alan relax, it's just the inside. C'mon I've got a guy that lays great interior."

"OH GOD! I screamed a second before a black SUV hit us on the passenger side.

The driver pushed our car until we hit an Adult XXX sign. Soon after part of the sign came swinging down and sliced through the roof of the car, almost hitting me. The people in the black SUV got out and came towards our car.

"Phil," I said panicked.

"Everything's going to be fine Harp," He said trying to calm me down.

"Is that the guy that beat us with a crowbar?" I asked.

"Yeah. That's the guy from the trunk," Alan said.

"Get out of the car. Please," He said eerily nice.

More guys came forward.

"Those are the guys that shot Eddie," Stu said.

The guy from the trunk clapped twice and here came his goons. They pulled us out and Phil took my wrist and put me behind him to protect me.

"I want my purse back, assholes."

"What, your purse?" Phil asked.

"That's not a purse. That's a satchel!" Alan corrected.

Who cares Alan!

"It's a purse! Okay? And you steal from wrong guy!"

"Wait a second. Wait a second. We stole from you?" Phil asked confused.

"You know what? We don't remember anything that happened last night. So help us out a little here."

"Well apparently you guys met at a craps table late last night. You were on a real heater when you played your hot streak," The guy said next to the Asian guy while pointing at Alan, "You ended up winning just under eighty grand."

"Really? Eighty grand!" I asked shocked.

"That's nice," Phil said happily.

"That's good," Stu said happily too.

"You put the chips in his purse and took off with it."

"That doesn't sound like us," Stu said.

"Mine had eighty thousand dollar inside!" The Asian guy gritted his teeth while he talked, "This one," He threw the satchel on the ground, "Nothing!"

"Hey, there's skittles in there!" Alan said going to the guy.

"Who cares Alan! You can always get more!" I said from behind Phil.

Alan didn't get to far when the other guy punched him in the stomach. Asian guy started laughing.

"Don't let the beard fool you. He's a child!" Stu said standing up for Alan and insulting him at the same time.

"It's funny because he's fat."

"Now look. This was obviously a very simple misunderstanding. Alan picked up the wrong purse, no big deal."

"Ok? If it's no big deal. Why when I come after you guys, he starts screaming like crazy and throw me in trunk? Huh?" He asked motioning towards Phil.

"Wha?" Stu asked.

"I did that?"

"Yeah. You said he was your lucky charm. And you wanted to take him home with you," The guy next to Asian dude said.

Phil started laughing and I tapped the back of his shoulder to get his attention.

"Phil. Now's not a time to be laughing," I warned.

The guy started laughing then stopped abruptly and said,

"Fuck you. If you want to see your friend again, you get me my eighty grand."

"Wait you have Doug?" I asked.

"You have our friend?" Phil asked.

The guy next to the Asian guy hit the SUV twice and we saw someone in there with a bag over their head. I put my hands over my mouth as the guys started towards the SUV.

"Chill out goatee!" Stu threatened.

"Ok. Ok. Alright. Fine."

"What do you want?" I asked.

"Not so good now. Quid pro quo, douchebag."

I raised my left eyebrow and cocked my head to the side in confusion.

What does that mean?

"Look we're very sorry. But this is an easy fix. Alan? Where's his purse?" Phil asked.

"I don't know," He whined.

"What- You- Could it be in the hotel room right?" Stu asked.

"Yeah," Phil jumped in.

"We can write you a check right now?" Stu said.

"Not a chance. Cash only."

There's a person in there?" Stu exploded.

"Boring," the Asian guy yawned while heading back to the SUV.

"Wait! Please!" I pleaded.

Phil and Stu went after him and yelled in unison. The SUV started backing up and Phil and Stu tried to stop it.

"Stop!" Stu commanded.

"That's not going to work Stu!" I yelled.

"Run me over."

"Don't tell them that! They won't hesitate dumbass!"

"Don't call your big brother a dumbass!"

"Then quit being one! I yelled back.

The SUV stopped and the Asian guy rolled down his window.

"Bring money to Big Rock in Mojave Desert at dawn."

"What?" Phil barked.

"Toodle-oo, motherfuckers," He said rolling up his window then flooring it out of there.

"Where's that place at?" Stu asked.

"We'll find that out once we get to the hotel. Let's go," I said.

We all got in the car and headed to the hotel as fast as we could.