This Is the Last Time

He felt like he had been hit in the stomach the minute he came back home from the studio. Her bags were packed and there were tears in her eyes. He didn't understand it, it had to be a cruel joke because he was trying this time - he really was. "I can't wait for you to decide you don't want me again. I've had time to think about this... and I can't do this anymore."

He shook his head, unable to understand at all. "Lis, come on," he said, more pleading than anything else. He didn't want her to walk out - not just yet. It was a selfish thought, really. He wasn't done with her and he wasn't done with them just yet. He was the one who ended it, not her. He and his best friend joked about this - that when Lisa ended it, it would really be over. He just hadn't expected it to hurt. "Let's talk about this."

She shook her head, knowing the minute they started talking, he'd find a way to get her to stay and then break her heart later. He always did and this time, she wanted out. She deserved better than this. "Alex, it's not working. It hasn't been for a long time. And I think... this is the last time I want to have a break up. I'm not getting younger and I always said I wanted to be settled down by thirty. I can't get that with you."

Alex knew she was right - he wouldn't want to be married by thirty. He loved touring too much and he loved living his life the way he was living it right now. He just thought he'd get a few more months before it was over. "I just... Lis, just... wait."

She shook her head and whispered, "This has been a long time coming, Alex."

And the next thing he knew, she walked out the door before he could get another word out. Part of him expected her to come back. He waited the whole night, booking a trip back to California because if there was ever a time to talk to Cassadee, it was now. And he almost forgot Lisa wouldn't be there before he called his mom. He explained that Lisa walked out and he needed someone to watch the dogs when he goes back to California. His mother agreed to house sit and Alex leaned back in his chair, sighing and looking around the empty house. He'd never realized how hollow the house was without her. He didn't have a need for a house this big. And maybe he never would have a need for a house this big. Maybe he should just sell it.

The next morning came and he was shocked that he didn't wake up with Lisa back in bed with him. He had gotten so used to her coming back around after things like this but... somehow, this felt serious. He shook his head as he got up, rubbing his eyes. Something felt wrong without Lisa there but it felt... right as well. It was confusing that it felt the way. His felt would leave at noon. He had to get going. He yanked on the first clothes he could reach, and pulled a beanie over his head rather than deal with the mess his hair had became.

And somehow, he reached LA without falling apart. Maybe he could handle this. He'd been single before. But those were all on his own choice, never because the girl decided to end it. The last time, it was with Meg. Meg was the first girl he could think of who dumped him, who left him. And somehow, Lisa leaving was easier than Meg leaving. It didn't inspire any songs... and somehow that made him uncomfortable. It was like something key about himself not being there. Maybe she was right - maybe it had been a long time coming. He shook his head as he headed over to Cassadee's new apartment with Rian. He wondered if he'd get to see Rian. He knocked on the door and hear a voice that definitely wasn't Cassadee's. "I'll get it!"

He heard footsteps and then the door opened to reveal a woman of about 24, with bright wide blue eyes, mid length blonde hair, and about 5'10". His jaw dropped slightly because he couldn't believe who was standing in front of him. Her head tilted at him, as if expecting him to say something. "Uh...," he said intelligently. "Is Cass here?"

The blonde nodded, a look on her face that made him wonder what she was thinking. "Of course she's here. It's her apartment," she said, a sarcastic edge to her voice that he wasn't expecting from the sweet faced girl. He didn't like lipstick, but he liked the way the red set on her lips. She turned around, motioning for him to come in. "Hey Cass, one of your guy friends is here. At least, I'm assuming that's what he is cause if he's your boyfriend, you got to explain how he looks so different in person." Her next comment was directed to him. "You look scruffy."

He was shocked by her demeanor. He expected soft and instead he got slightly sarcastic and sounding almost... done with the world. Her eyes reflected something he wasn't sure of and suddenly, he realized he had forgotten about Lisa. He was here to talk about Lisa with Cassadee, not flirt with the first pretty girl he saw. "Alex," Cassadee said, moving to hug him. Alex had forgotten how short she was. The girl grinned at Cassadee, and then Cassadee made an oh-face. "Right! This is Alex. And uh, I think you know who this is."

Alex wasn't even offended that Cassadee didn't bother to introduce the girl next to her, mostly because the girl next to Cassadee had achievements. He just nodded, avoiding saying anything else to her. He didn't want to look like an idiot. "Uh, Cass, I was kind of hoping I could talk to you about something... alone."

"Actually, I kind of have to get going," Cassadee said, interrupting him. "Taylor's actually here to watch my dog while Rian and I go out. But like... you two can hang out while I'm gone."

Suddenly, Alex was very nervous. Being alone with the Taylor Swift... could he handle that? Alex just nodded. "Uh, I just... I needed to talk about..." what was it it he came to talk about? Oh! Right. "Lisa. She broke up with me last night."

He was very aware of Taylor there and he couldn't help but turn red. He didn't want to look like an idiot who got dumped by girls in front of her. Cassadee shrugged. "You've been dumped, Taylor's been dumped. You can ask her for advice."

And then Cassadee left too, leaving him with Taylor, who had a small look on her face that he couldn't tell what it was. Taylor finally sat down on Cass's couch, grinning up at him. "So, you need girl advice."

There was a sing songy quality to her voice and the smirk on her face was enough to let him know she was enjoying herself. He just didn't understand why she'd be thrilled. As far as he knew, she had never met him and had no reason to care about him before she met Cassadee. Then again... something was churning in his head... how Cassadee said that Taylor was a fan of Hey Monday. Crap. He sat slowly down next to her, starting off, "Well, uh... she said that she was tired of the situation we had going and I dunno. I guess I expected it to end but I didn't expect to be the one that was dumped."

A flash appeared in Taylor's eyes and suddenly Alex knew why Taylor Swift was so fiercesome - she didn't even have to say a word to make you scared of her. She didn't have to say anything to voice her displeasure. And somehow, that was terrifying to Alex. He knew she wouldn't hesitate to write a song about him and there was no one to hold her back if she did chose to. "Well. Sounds like you didn't really care about her. So why would you come and try to talk about it when you've already reached your conclusion? Did you want someone to validate your pain?"

Her words were harsh and he was taken aback. Her blue eyes were alight with a fire he didn't think possible. "Uh, well. I mean, I expected it but I didn't expect it either. Like... I just came home and her bags were packed and she said that this was the last time we'll break up."

Her head tilted slightly in confusion. "What do you mean by that? Like, have you broke up before this incident?"

Alex dipped his head in shame. "We broke up five other times. This is the sixth. And uh... each time I ended it and dated other girls in between those break ups." He looked over at her and she didn't appear to say anything. She had a contemplative look on her face and it scared him. "Like... the time before we got back together this time, I had ended it with Tay -" he noticed her raising her eyebrow, "not Tay as in you, Tay as in Tay Jardine... about a week or so before getting back with Lisa."

Of course he expected the fury in her eyes. "You... dumped a girl... and got back with your ex a week later... I've torn guys apart for less! That poor girl!"

He half expected her to grab a pillow and start hitting him with it. But she didn't so he relaxed a bit. He hadn't even realized that he had tensed up. Alex could honestly understand why Taylor was so upset. But he just wish she wasn't. Was that selfish? "Well... I just... to be honest, I don't know why I ended it. It just seemed like I supposed to. Like, I never stayed with a single girl longer than two years. Lisa and I never spent more than two years together."

Taylor seemed to calm down a little. "Alright. So you never stay with a girl more than two years in a row. Do you know why? Or is just something you do because you get bored of them?"

Honestly, Alex had never paused to think about that. Something about the things she said made sense but he didn't want to agree to any of it. He was still scared she'd start hitting him with a pillow. "Well... uh... I guess I just never really liked any of them. I just don't like being alone so I find a girl and get with her and hope that maybe love might happen. It never does."

Taylor sighed. "You can't force love. It has to come on its own."

And that was the last time that Alex ever doubted his own feelings. That was the last time he would get back with Lisa, the last time he'd ever have a break up with Lisa. And it was the last time he'd ever think he could force love. Because it was the moment he knew, the moment he leaned over and kissed her. "Then I know what I want," he whispered against her lips.