Uncharted Territory

I don’t know if it was my conversation with Josh or the fact that everything had been so busy, but for some reason, I just couldn’t seem to fall asleep that night. I tossed and turned for the better part of an hour before I finally gave up, stumbling out of my room in a pair of sandals, some old shorts, and a coca cola t-shirt.

Rubbing my hands against my eyes, I had just looked up when I saw Josh standing in front of me with the same groggy expression on his face.

“Erin,” he breathed out, his lips pressing together. “What are you doing out here?”

I shrugged my shoulders while I yawned. “I’m exhausted but I just couldn’t fall asleep.

“Same here,” Josh chuckled as he nodded his head. “Wanna go for a walk? I was thinking it might help me get to sleep. Maybe it would help you too.”

I nodded my head, flashing him a small smile before we both turned down to the hallway and out into the lobby of the winery. It seemed like we both had instinctively gone back out to the garden where we had been before. The place was even quieter than before, and it would have been eerily dark if it hadn’t been for the moon that was lighting up our path.

I felt my phone vibrate in my hand, and I hadn’t even really remembered grabbing it. It must have been habit, just because I rarely left a room without it. I peeked down at it, and when I realized it was only a notification from Facebook, I passed it to Josh. “Can you hold this for me?”

He nodded his head, taking it from me before he shoved it into his pocket with a smile. “Don’t let me forget to give it back.”

The two of us walked in silence for a few minutes, before Josh finally spoke again.

“You’ve never been good at sleeping, have you?” Josh said, chuckling as he shoved his hands in the pockets of his athletic shorts. I looked over at him, but he didn’t notice. He was too focused on something else.

“Not really,” I admitted, folding my arms across my chest as a small wind hit me.

“I still remember when we were little and you’d come pounding on my window when you couldn’t sleep at night.” Josh smiled to himself, his head lowering to the ground while he laughed. “And then you’d make me sneak out my window and catch fireflies with you until you were so tired you could hardly make it back to bed.”

I laughed with Josh, remembering the countless times we had done just that. He always had a way of making me feel better, even when we were young, and I’d always find a reason to have him next to me.

“You’re not still collecting those things, are you?” Josh continued, a small smirk creeping to his face as he turned to me. His eyes matched the moon light – so soft and so sweet.

“Hey, they’re going to be worth a fortune one day.”

Josh laughed, shaking his head. “If you say so.”

The garden path went in a circle, and it ended back at the lobby doors long before I was ready to leave Josh. I thought about asking him to go around again, but I knew he had a big day ahead of him and the last thing he needed was to not be able to stay awake during his own wedding ceremony.

“You ready to head up?” Josh asked, motioning his head towards the door when we reached it. “We can stay out longer if you’d like.”

I wanted nothing more than to take him up on the other, but sometimes I had to do what was best for Josh, because he certainly wasn’t going to do it himself, and he needed to get some sleep.

“That’s alright,” I said, shaking my head. “You’ve got a big day tomorrow. You probably need your rest.”

Josh chuckled, nodding his head back at me while he clicked his tongue to the roof of his mouth. “I probably do.”

We walked in silence back to the hallway, where we would part ways and head to our separate rooms. Josh paused at his door, turning back to look at me briefly before stepping forward and pulling me into a hug. His warmth washed over me and I couldn’t help but snuggle my head into his neck, the scent of his expensive cologne overwhelming my senses. I never wanted him to pull away, and it was several long moments before he finally did.

“Goodnight, Erin,” he said, smiling as he looked down at me. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

I nodded my head, a soft “goodnight, Josh” falling from my lips before we both turned away and went into our separate rooms, which were separated by far too much wood and furniture for my liking.

I had just slipped my shoes off when I remembered I had left my phone with Josh, and I stepped out of my room as quickly as I could, hoping I could catch him before he was tucked into his bed.

I’m not sure if it was fate or pure coincidence, but for some reason, I had the phenomenal sense to tiptoe out into the hallway so I could make sure I wouldn’t wake the neighbors. I was so perfectly quiet that no one could hear me, not even Natalie who was standing outside her door with a man I knew only as one of Josh’s groomsman.

My feet fell flat with my mouth dropping open in shock as I watched Natalie lean forward and plant her lips against this man. This man who in any way, shape or form anything even close to Josh. I watched for several seconds as their kiss got more heated, while my head was in a mental race to decide whether I should interrupt them or just walk away.

Before I had a chance to decide, they slipped into the groomsman’s room together, never even realizing I was there. I stood completely frozen for several long moments after they left, hardly able to fathom what I had just seen.

The woman that Josh was marrying in less than 24 hours was just making out with one of his groomsmen and was now doing god knows what with him in the bedroom. That was heavy bit of information. A very heavy bit.

I didn’t know if I should say anything to Josh. I didn’t know what I would say to Josh. I didn’t know if he would believe me, because I don’t even know if I’d believe me.

I couldn’t very well let my best friend marry a girl who was sure to be a lying, cheating whore, but I couldn’t just bombard him with the news in the middle of the night.

What if it was just a one-time thing? What if it was just her last hoorah before her wedding the next day? Did that make it okay? I didn’t know, and it probably wasn’t my place decide, but I did know I wasn’t the one that needed to make that decision. Josh was.