Status: two shot
Have You Ever Thought?
part one
She had it all, really. She was one of the most popular girls in school, she had the guy on the football team wrapped around her little finger, and she was everything that someone else could want to be. But of course, that's boring. Perfect little princess and on the cheer team? Alexandra Gaskarth honestly was a little more than... flat. The only thing truly remarkable about her was her impressive height (5'10”) and her shoulder length floppy hair cut. Well, at least, according to a certain miss Rian Dawson – though if you asked Alex about that, she'll claim Rian is just annoyed that they're no longer friends. Of course, the real reason ran deeper.
It was a typical story of a girl who became an outcast the minute she came out of the closet for Rian and the reason that Alex left was because she wanted popularity and friends over sticking up for someone who was being shoved down. Hey, no one ever said that Alex was a kind and thoughtful girl who stood by friends regardless of... whatever. Alex liked popularity more than she liked other people and it was cold, heartless, and just who she was. Of course, it was no wonder that Rian had taken a disliking to Alex, despite the two used to being really close. But hey, Rian supposed if that was what Alex wanted.
She just didn't understand how Alex went from trashing the guy she was with right now to dating him. Liam had always been the douche that neither of them wanted to touch with a five foot pole and yet Rian saw Alex on Liam's arm, laughing at whatever dumb joke the boy said. And well, Rian would be lying if she said she wasn't jealous of Liam. Alex was gorgeous, of course, but there was no way Rian would ever admit that about her ex best friend. But then again, it was easier to pretend to hate Alex because Rian could never admit her feelings about Alex. And the time that Alex had joined in on the bullying was hard, because it was all Rian thought about at night.
Rian remembered everything and it scared her how happy Alex was with Liam. Because Rian would see Alex smiling up at the guy who had helped in the torment of her and she couldn't breathe anymore. She could remember when Alex came over when they were in the seventh grade, both of them curious about what it was like to kiss someone. It had been Alex's idea for them to try it out with each other. Alex was Rian's first kiss, though Rian doubted she was Alex's first kiss. Alex had laughed, and shook her head. “That's so weird, isn't it?”
Rian tried to agree but the reality was, Rian had liked kissing Alex. Alex's lips were soft and kind, something that Rian liked. And sometimes Rian thought about that night more than she wanted to admit. She could feel jealously seeping in her bones as she watched Alex and Liam purchase tickets to the senior Prom, an event that Rian would most likely not attend. Rian didn't have a girlfriend or a reason to even desire to go to the event. Rian didn't like dancing much anyway. She didn't want to have to think about Alex that day, she didn't want to have to think about Alex dancing with Liam. She would be home alone, playing her drums. She wouldn't see Alex again for a while. Maybe that was for the best, maybe that was what Rian needed.
The two would graduate and Rian and Alex would continue to drift apart, would eventually never see the other ever again. Of course, sometimes fate decides to change things differently. Sometimes things happen that you could have never seen coming. And well, Rian couldn't have guessed that Alex wasn't comfortable in her sexuality nor could she have know that. Nor could she had known that Alex had remembered those sleepovers, had been more than comfortable with those kisses. Of course, that wasn't something that would've been important anyway when Alex had made her choice clear. Of course that didn't matter when Alex was twirling around in her Prom dress while Rian sulked passed the store in an attempt to get the video game store. Rian couldn't help but stop and look at Alex in her Prom dress, however. The deep red honestly looked good on her, the black detailing not something Rian would have thought Alex would like. But it was beautiful, just like Alex.
And with that thought, Rian sped off. She couldn't get too attached to Alex again nor could she bother letting Alex's friends notice her staring. The last thing Rian wanted was further attention from Alex's friends – regardless of what they thought.
It was a typical story of a girl who became an outcast the minute she came out of the closet for Rian and the reason that Alex left was because she wanted popularity and friends over sticking up for someone who was being shoved down. Hey, no one ever said that Alex was a kind and thoughtful girl who stood by friends regardless of... whatever. Alex liked popularity more than she liked other people and it was cold, heartless, and just who she was. Of course, it was no wonder that Rian had taken a disliking to Alex, despite the two used to being really close. But hey, Rian supposed if that was what Alex wanted.
She just didn't understand how Alex went from trashing the guy she was with right now to dating him. Liam had always been the douche that neither of them wanted to touch with a five foot pole and yet Rian saw Alex on Liam's arm, laughing at whatever dumb joke the boy said. And well, Rian would be lying if she said she wasn't jealous of Liam. Alex was gorgeous, of course, but there was no way Rian would ever admit that about her ex best friend. But then again, it was easier to pretend to hate Alex because Rian could never admit her feelings about Alex. And the time that Alex had joined in on the bullying was hard, because it was all Rian thought about at night.
Rian remembered everything and it scared her how happy Alex was with Liam. Because Rian would see Alex smiling up at the guy who had helped in the torment of her and she couldn't breathe anymore. She could remember when Alex came over when they were in the seventh grade, both of them curious about what it was like to kiss someone. It had been Alex's idea for them to try it out with each other. Alex was Rian's first kiss, though Rian doubted she was Alex's first kiss. Alex had laughed, and shook her head. “That's so weird, isn't it?”
Rian tried to agree but the reality was, Rian had liked kissing Alex. Alex's lips were soft and kind, something that Rian liked. And sometimes Rian thought about that night more than she wanted to admit. She could feel jealously seeping in her bones as she watched Alex and Liam purchase tickets to the senior Prom, an event that Rian would most likely not attend. Rian didn't have a girlfriend or a reason to even desire to go to the event. Rian didn't like dancing much anyway. She didn't want to have to think about Alex that day, she didn't want to have to think about Alex dancing with Liam. She would be home alone, playing her drums. She wouldn't see Alex again for a while. Maybe that was for the best, maybe that was what Rian needed.
The two would graduate and Rian and Alex would continue to drift apart, would eventually never see the other ever again. Of course, sometimes fate decides to change things differently. Sometimes things happen that you could have never seen coming. And well, Rian couldn't have guessed that Alex wasn't comfortable in her sexuality nor could she have know that. Nor could she had known that Alex had remembered those sleepovers, had been more than comfortable with those kisses. Of course, that wasn't something that would've been important anyway when Alex had made her choice clear. Of course that didn't matter when Alex was twirling around in her Prom dress while Rian sulked passed the store in an attempt to get the video game store. Rian couldn't help but stop and look at Alex in her Prom dress, however. The deep red honestly looked good on her, the black detailing not something Rian would have thought Alex would like. But it was beautiful, just like Alex.
And with that thought, Rian sped off. She couldn't get too attached to Alex again nor could she bother letting Alex's friends notice her staring. The last thing Rian wanted was further attention from Alex's friends – regardless of what they thought.