Status: Done. :D


Chapter 3 - Heart break, again and again

"Hello?" I asked.

"Oh, hi honey." Sam! He was finally calling me.

"Oh, hi Sammy baby!" I shirked, I couldn't help being excited because I had missed him so much.

"Aww, Fwankie! Honey I-I- Ohhhh! Baby! I missed you." What the hell? I thought. Something was dangerously wrong with Sam. He was slurring his words and he was hiccuping non-stop.

"Are you ok baby? You sound... different." I asked him.

"Hmm, Yeah baby. I'm just so miserable without you!" He made no sense.

Call me slow, but it hit me just then.

"Oh Fuck!" I exclaimed. He was high! How the hell he still had the nerve to get high after what happened last time, I'll never know. I was so furious, that I had forgotten that Gerard was still in the same room as me.

"Damn it Sam, you're high again!" I was literally screaming into the phone but I didn't care.

"D'aww come on honeyy! It's my friends birthday, I had to do it!" He slurred.

"I don't care what day it is! You fucking promised me Sam! Fuck you!"

I was about to lose myself. What if he did it again? I didn't know if my heart would be able to handle that pain again.

"Whose with you? Whose birthday is it? Tell me now!" I asked him.

"It doesn't matter who baby! You know there is a reason why I called you. If you come to the address I'm gonna give you, we can have soooo much fun tonight!" He told me, as serious as he could be in his high state.

"What the fuck are you talking about? What fun?" I asked him, still fuming.

"Threesome." He whispered to me and giggled maniacally afterwards.

As soon as I heard the single word that left his lips, I was disgusted in him. I couldn't believe he had just offered me such a dirty thing like that! We were supposed to be boyfriends, not fuck-buddies. My mind felt like it was about to explode, and my heart was already torn. I wanted to break down and cry, I wanted to scream and destroy things but I did none. I just stood there frozen. I felt my eyes sting and a single tear rolled down my cheek.

I knew that he had done it again. God, please tell me; where have I done wrong!? I thought. I knew that he had cheated on me again.

"The address is-" He started.

"Shut the hell up!! I never, ever, NEVER want to see your face again! Motherfucker!!" But I cut him off.

I hang up on him and slammed the phone down. I couldn't help the tears anymore. I was pretty sure that I was as red as hot flames because of screaming so much. I ran my hands through my hair as more tears found their way down my cheeks.

I had totally forgotten about Gerard until that moment. When I turned to look at him, his eyes were as wide as the moon and his mouth was slightly ajar.

Once I realized that he was still there, I practically started running for my bedroom and shut the door afterwards.

I quickly got under the covers in my bed, and buried myself there as I kept on crying.

Where have I done wrong? Wasn't I enough? Couldn't I satisfy him? Doesn't he love me anymore? When will I find happiness? God, Why? Are all these happening to me because I'm a bad man? Where have I done wrong?

Weather it's a relationship or friendship I have always had bad luck on me. My best friend is gone, my lover is gone, my parents are gone! God, what do you want from me!?

I cried and I cried, I lost myself in my thoughts.

I cried until I couldn't cry anymore.

I laid under my covers, facing the ceiling. My eyes and face red from all the crying and anger. I was confused, but mostly scared.

Scared from loneliness...
Scared that loneliness will drive me crazy.
Scared that I'll be lonely the rest of my life.

But those fears didn't come just because I broke up with Sam. They were always there since my parents disowned me.

Simply, I have always ignored my fears. Ron, my best friend have always helped me ignore them until he died.

Then after he died there was Sam to help me forget.

Now though... Sam is just along those wounds too.

I turned to look at the clock which sat on top of my bedside table.

It said, it was 02:27 a.m.

Maybe I should sleep it off. I thought.

But before I could get up off the bed to close the curtains and turn the lights off, there was a knock on the door.

Gerard. I thought, my eyes widening. I had forgotten about him, again!

"Come in!" I called out. My voice came out stained and my throat felt like it was on fire.

Slowly the door opened and Gerard came in hesitantly.

"Hey, I wanted to check on you. You didn't look well." He talked, softly and sympathetically.

"I'm sorry, you had to witness that. I'm ok." I replied, just as softly. Only difference was that, my sentence was an absolute lie. I certainly wasn't ok.

"Don't be sorry, I'm the one that's invading your privacy. Are you sure you're ok? Do you want to talk? I could listen if you wanted to, you know, get it off you chest."

I definitely wanted to talk to him but I wasn't sure if it would be appropriate.

"You're not invading anything. I'm the one invited you and... I would love to talk but it'll bore you, so..." I told him, insecurely.

"No! I would love to listen." He told me, sounding completely sure of himself. I don't know how his facial expression looked like because I was looking at the floor at that time.

"Really?" I asked. I did everything to hide the hopeful tone in my voice but ended up making it even more obvious.

"Of course!" He said, smiling wide and bright.

So I decided to tell him everything. I told him everything that hurt, everything thing that opened wounds in my heart, everything that made me cry at night, and he listened to every word I said, like he said he would.

I suppose I fell asleep while talking because the next thing I saw was the morning sun.
♠ ♠ ♠
Hello again!
I had free time so I thought I'd write another chapter. :)

I'm sorry for the depressing chapter, I promise it'll get better. ;)
I'm sorry for the mistakes!

Thanks to everyone that reads.

See you!