Falling in Love All Over Again

Alex sighed happily as he rested his head on Jack's lap and looked up at the stars, both of the boys were just 16 and madly in love, blinded by their love to see anything differently, there was no wrong in the other boy, they were perfect, they were perfect for each other. Right now the boys sat outside in the cold not yet winter air of Baltimore in Alex's backyard gazing up at the stars.
"Your interest in space is really fucking weird Lex," Jack said as Alex started to name some of the stars and constellations in the sky, Alex just rolled his eyes and cuddled up more into Jack loving the feeling of his boyfriend's warm body against his. It was two weeks after their one year anniversary and Jack was so deeply madly in love with Alex it was creepy, though he hadn't said anything about it yet, he was too afraid that Alex would turn him down and not say it in return, he spent a lot of time trying to find the perfect moment to tell Alex how much he really loved him he hadn't noticed how much time he'd really spent away from the blond haired boy in his lap. Alex, on the other hand was scared as fuck, he'd noticed that Jack was starting to distance himself from him and he was scared, scared that Jack not longer liked him, that they were drifting apart, that their relationship wasn't going to work out, that it was just some stupid highschool fling, not to mention his boyfriend had been spending much too much time alone with their friend Rian, and he was scared something was going on between them, he knew that Rian was straight but he was scared that Jack didn't and was falling for their friend.
"Lex you alright, babe?" Jack asked after a while running his fingers through his boyfriends hair seeing that he was being really quiet tonight which was very odd for Alex especially when he was around Jack.
"Yeah," Alex mumbled quietly, "Just thinking that's all, sorry were you saying something?" He asked and tilted his head to look up at Jack a small smile appearing on his face, though not even he was sure whether his smile was fake or not which was probably not a good thing.
"No not really I just noticed that you were being quiet that's all, you know you can tell me if something's wrong right?" Jack said sweetly and leaned down to kiss the top of Alex's head.
Alex grinned at this small gesture, everything Jack doing bringing butterflies to his stomach and making his heart pound a million times faster, which only made what he was planning on doing tonight a million times more stupid. "I know, not only are you my boyfriend but you're also my best friend," he said leaning up to peck Jack's lips quickly before settling his head back into Jack's lap and continued to gaze up at the stars mentally making notes on which was which and such.

The two lovers sat in silence for a long while after that just sitting their gazing up at the stars the occasional small kiss shared before going back to their original positions, Jack sighed happily as he ran his fingers trough Alex's hair and Alex curled up into his boyfriend's lap and continued to gaze up at the stars. The blond haired boy's heart was beating at a million times an hour, he was thinking everything through, was he really going to break up with the boy he loved so much? Was it really the right choice for both of them? Would it really make both him and Jack happy? Was Jack going to hate him after this? He knew the answer to only one of these questions, yes, Jack was most certainly going to hate him after this, but it was the right thing to do, it had to be the right thing to do, he would no longer have the constant fear that Jack didn't like him playing in the back of his mind, it would just be so much easier, right?

Alex sighed and looked up at Jack, shuffling now so that he was sat in front of Jack with his legs crossed in front of him which earned a confused look from Jack, Alex sighed and took in a shaking breath, he was really going to do this, it was now or never.
"Jay remember how you said I could tell you if something was wrong?" Alex asked quietly.
Jack nodded slowly, confused as to where this was going, and honestly he was scared, he didn't know what was going to happen but he knew it was going to be bad judging from Alex's tone of voice. "Yeah?" Jack said shakily biting down on his lip.
Alex sighed and averted his eyes to the ground for a second before looking up and half meeting Jack's. "Well there's something wrong," He mumbled looking down again.
There was a small silence but Jack quickly filled it. "What is it Lex?" He asked.
"Well I think we need a break, like a long break we've been spending too much time with each other and I'm afraid we're not spending enough time with our friend, I don't want them to feel neglected just because we're in a relationship," Alex said, he couldn't break it off properly, so a break would work right? They could get back together eventually and act like nothing happened, but oh god how he was wrong.
"A break Alex, are you fucking serious? After out one year anniversary? Don't breaks usually happened before that?" Jack said tears pouring out of his eyes as he struggled to find the right words to find to say to Alex, but everything he said just came out in one big stupid stuttery mess.
"I- I'm sorry Jay it's just that I think it would be best," Alex said his gaze on his lap as tears poured out of his eyes, maybe this wasn't the best choice, but what had been done had been done, and he felt fucking awful for it.
Jack stood up in a fit of anger and glared at Alex. "You know what, have your fucking break, I hope you fucking enjoy it, I hope it's the best time of your life, because this isn't going to make me happy, if anything it's going to do the exact fucking opposite, and don't fucking call me Jay Alex, that's reserved for people who actually care about me and give a shit about how I'm feeling,"and with that Jack left not saying another word, he didn't care about his hoodie he left in Alex's room and just stormed outside and ran as fast as he possibly could leaving Alex sobbing on the ground curled up into a small regretful ball in his backyard where Jack had once been, it was still warm and he could small Jack which just made everything hurt all the more, he let out a gut wrenching sob and buried his face into the ground, right now he wanted to do nothing more than to curl up and die, take back the last five minutes of his life and be happy with Jack, because as hard as he knew this would be it was a million times worse than he could ever have imagined, than he could ever have planned, he didn't think anything could hurt more, and he was the dumper, he couldn't even imagine how Jack, the dumpee, was feeling.

It turns out those five minutes of Alex's life would turn out to be the biggest mistake he had ever made in his life.