Falling in Love All Over Again

To say Alex was shocked about Jack telling him that he cut himself was an understatement, he had no idea why such a beautiful boy would hurt such a beautiful body like that, but then again he wasn't inside his head, he didn't know what made him do it, he didn't know how often, he didn't know why he continued to do it, he knew he may never know why but he knew that he was going to be there for Jack, not just because he cut but because he'd been a pretty shit friend lately and he had to make up for it somehow, and if it was by just being there then he was prepared to do it for Jack. He held on to Jack tightly burying his head into his neck breathing in his scent, sure the boys shared cuddles - quite frequently really - but they hadn't held eat other like this for a very long time, like they were each other's life lines, like they meant everything to the other, and Alex had really missed this, in the ten years that him and Jack had split up Alex had, had girlfriend's and boyfriend's but none of them had held him like this, the way that only Jack could hold him, and honestly he missed Jack holding him like this, he missed being able to depend on Jack like this, he missed the cuddles they would share when they were together, he missed how he had meant everything to Jack, the way Jack would try to hold their embrace for as long as possible before letting go, and he'd get a little pouty after only for Alex to kiss his pout away and make him grin again. He missed that all, and he knew by the way Jack was holding him back that he wanted it too, the only hard thing was finding the confidence to ask him, he so badly wanted to do it now, but then he'd feel like he was taking advantage of Jack in his slightly fragile state, and he didn't want to do that to the man that he loved, but he knew he'd have to do it soon, he knew the longer he left it the more it would hurt Jack and himself.
"Thank you Jack, thank you for trusting me with this, I promise I won't tell anyone else if you don't want me to," Alex said and looked up at Jack whose eyes were blood shot and had tears slowly falling down his cheeks, it was obvious that he'd been crying, and that telling Alex had been massive for him which only made Alex happier that he was the one that Jack had trusted, even if what he'd been doing to himself was awful, and he wished that he wouldn't do it.
"It's alright Lex, you are my best friend it's in the rules of friendship that we tell each other everything, even if it had taken me so long to finally tell you," Jack whispered quietly his hands trailing up and down along Alex's back gently almost as if he was afraid to hurt Alex somehow, and Alex appreciated that, he appreciated that Jack cared about him that much, that he knew he would do anything to keep him from being hurt, really Alex couldn't get a better friend even if he tried.
"You know that you're the best right?" Alex said looking up at Jack with a massive grin which in turn made Jack smile, which just made Alex grin more, Jack's smile was his favourite thing, and when he was the reason for him to smile it just made it so much better.
"I don't know Lex, you're pretty great too," Jack said looking down and poking Ale's nose lightly giggling softly as Alex crinkled up his nose with a grin.
"Yeah I know that I'm great but I'm not as great as you Jackary," Alex said grinning and poking Jack's cheek softly.
"Shh," Jack said and buried his face into Alex's chest giggling quietly, it was clear that Jack was blushing, he'd always try to hide his face if he knew that he was doing it which made Alex pout slightly.
"Jacky I know you're blushing you don't just hide for no reason," Alex said almost whining and Jack shook his head giggling again.
"Never!" Jack said loudly thought he voice was muffled by Alex's chest and shirt, but he still understood what Jack was saying, clearly they'd spent a lot of time around each other. Alex smiled and rolled his eyes kissing Jack's head softly - something that made Jack more even if it was normal for the pair - and smirked slightly.
"Well then I guess I'll just have to sit here and drink hot chocolate and watch Home Alone without you then won't !?" Alex said with a smirk and Jack's head instantly lifted up to look at Alex, his eyes lighting up slightly at the mentioned of the movie that was made for kids that Jack loved just a little but too much.
"I want hot chocolate and Home Alone," Jack said with a pout the blush on his cheeks was now slowly beginning to fade away and Alex rolled his eyes, poking Jack's side playfully which in turn made Jack wince, his cuts were still fresh in the area Alex had touched and now were stinging like a bitch, Alex's eyes widened at Jack's actions afraid that he'd hurt him badly.
"Oh God Jay I'm so sorry I didn't mean to hurt you like that!" Alex said loudly and Jack shook his head.
"It's fine it just stings like a bitch now, but I'm used to it by now," Jack said with a sad smile which made Alex's face fall, someone as beautiful as Jack shouldn't be used to that kind of pain, he wished that Jack didn't do this to himself, but he knew he just couldn't stop instantly it would take time and Alex would be there every single step of the way. "I'm just gonna go to the bathroom and make sure they're not bleeding again and put something on them to stop them from hurting, and you can get the hot chocolate started sound good?" Jack asked biting his lip, Alex sighed and nodded.
"Yeah I can do that, sorry again," Alex said and slowly slid from the warmth and safety of Jack's arms he instantly missed having Jack holding him, but he knew Jack would be happy to cuddle again once the movie started so it was alright.
"Can you also bring out the chocolate?" Jack asked a small smile playing at his lips, "You know where I keep it hidden."
Alex nodded, "Of course Jay," he said and stood up and walked to the kitchen as Jack parted to go up to the bathroom making sure nothing bad had happened.

Once Jack got to the bathroom he lifted up his shirt and looked at his side, Alex had poked one of his deepest cuts and it was not bleeding and stinging like a bitch, he sighed, he knew it wasn't Alex's fault that he had poked there so he didn't blame him, he just didn't like it once it started stinging again. He followed through in his normal routine when something like this happened, and dabbed himself clean making sure the wound didn't get infected added some cooling agent to it to hopefully help stop the stinging, and covered it with some gauze and let his shirt fall back down again, he sighed and looked at himself in the mirror shooting his reflection a dirty look, why couldn't he be beautiful like Alex? Why couldn't he just be happy with what he'd been given? He sighed and hit the mirror - not enough to break it - and walked back downstairs happy to be greeted by Alex two cups of hot chocolate his favourite chocolate and his favourite movie, all of his favourite things in one place.

***

The boys spent the rest of the night watching shitty movies and talking about how shit they were and what was wrong with them before putting in another movie and repeating the process again. They'd finished their hot chocolate and the rest of the chocolate ages ago and were currently just sitting in silence, Alex had his arms wrapped around Jack tightly as the younger boy slowly drifted in and out of consciousness, by now Alex was more interested in watching Jack that whatever was on TV, he knew that he was going to fall asleep no matter how many times he denied it, and Alex couldn't deny it, Jack was really cute when he was sleepy and cuddly like this, Alex wished he could see more of this side of Jack he really liked it when he was so happy and so relaxed.

Eventually Jack fell asleep - or so Alex thought - curled up into Alex happily a massive grin on his face, Alex grabbed the remote and turned the TV off, kissing Jack's head softly, "Night gorgeous I love you," he whispered quietly, positive that the skunk haired boy was asleep before slowly falling asleep himself.