Falling in Love All Over Again

A week later and Alex's words still weren't out of Jack's head, he'd let them replay over and over again, did Alex really want him back? Was everything still effecting him ten years later just as much as they were effecting Jack? He doubted that they were, maybe he was just upset in that moment and needed someone? Yeah, that was probably it, he was just upset and caught in the moment and just wanted someone, and Jack just happened to be the person he wanted in that situation, yeah that was most certainly it. Oh if only Jack new how wrong he really was about that.

They boys were currently at a party type thing outside their bus with a few other bands, Jack was currently sitting on the steps to his bus and watching everyone else having a good time, usually he would be the one in there partying and grinding on just about everything that moved, girls, guys, whatever, he didn't really care when he was drunk. Usually he would be the crazy one, the guy who took it too far, but today he was quiet and submissive watching everyone else as they had fun and drunk themselves even though they knew they had a concert the next day, but right now it didn't really matter to any of them, because they were having fun and enjoying themselves, they'd regret it all in the morning. Zack and Rian had come up to Jack a few times during the night and tried to get him to join in on the party, but Jack shook his head saying that he wasn't in the mood, usually that would confuse the boys considering he was always in the mood to get piss drunk and fuck around, but they were drunk, they were having fun so they didn't notice, that or they didn't really care because they were having fun, they were enjoying their time. Jack lately hadn't been able to find it in himself to have fun to enjoy things that he used to, his idea of fun lately was cutting himself to shreds and crying over Alex though he couldn't do that now, it would be suspicious if Jack - who was almost always - the life of the party, plus he knew Alex wasn't fully wasted yet and would run after him if he saw him walk away. So Jack just sat there watching everyone as they had fun and he wallowed in his sadness and self pity, it wasn't fun, but he figured it was better than actually being in the bus and sleeping.

After a while Jack got sick of sitting their and just watching everyone have fun while he couldn't bring himself to do anything like that and pulled out his phone and started to scroll through his tumblr, twitter, and Facebook timelines, trying to cure his boredom though he wasn't doing a very good job considering it was late at night and no one was really posting anything now.
"Jaaaaaaaack," he heard a voice whining from above him he knew it was Alex, his voice was an octave lower like it always was when he was drunk, but he knew that it was Alex.
"Mmm yeah what do you want?" Jack asked not tearing his face from the screen not wanting to look Alex in the eyes, he knew even when Alex was drunk he was good at telling when someone was upset, or lying or hurt, and he didn't want to have to deal with that, he knew that Alex was pushy when he was drunk and he didn't want to have to deal with that right now.
"Daaaaance with me please?" Alex asked, he took a quick glance up at Alex to see him pouting, fuck, Alex was so needy when he was drunk.
"Don't wanna, I'm tired." Jack said keeping his eyes glued to the screen, as much as he wanted to look up and look into Alex's beautiful caramel brown eyes, he knew he'd get lost, and Alex would see right through him, he just didn't want to deal with that right now.
"Come onnnnnnnnnnnn Jacky, you love dancing come on!" Alex whined again, Jack just rolled his eyes and slumped back, he knew Alex wouldn't leave him alone until he got what he wanted, and Jack knew he was going to give in, because it was Alex, and having Alex grinding on him was the best feeling in the world, even if they weren't together Jack could still appreciate the friction. Alex eventually gave up on the vocal approach and grabbed Jack's wrist pulling him a little away from the bus to the main part of the roughly put together party and wrapped Jack's arms around his waist and wrapped his own around Jack's neck. "You know you love it," Alex whispered into Jack's ear. Jack didn't reply to that because yes, he really fucking enjoyed it, he loved dancing with Alex, he loved grinding against his ex, but he wouldn't let Alex have the pleasure of knowing that, even if he was drunk and wouldn't remember anything in the morning.

Just as Jack had expected the boys started to grind against each other, well Alex was doing most of the grinding his movements all sloppy and half hearted because of the effects of the alcohol and Jack was just standing there occasionally moving his hips into Alex's when the older boy hit the right spot. A while later he felt something attack his collar bone and it didn't take him long to realize that Alex was attacking his neck with his lips, they'd grinded before after breaking up, always when they were drunk, but never had they done something like this, ever. To be honest it was freaking Jack out a bit, but he loved the feeling of Alex's lips on his collar bone, they just felt so normal, like they should be there.
"A-Alex what are you doing?" Jack asked nervously stopping his movements completely until Alex explained what exactly was going on.
"I want you Jay, I want every part of you, now," Alex said, his words slurred as he pushed his hips into Jack's, biting down roughly, which made Jack let out an involuntary moan.
"Alex you're drunk, no," Jack said firmly, but made no effort to push Alex away, he enjoyed being this close to the boy, but he wasn't going to take advantage of him now, while he as drunk, as much as he wanted Alex he didn't want him like this, he'd feel like shit if he did.
"But Jay I love you, I want you, I know you want me too," Alex said trailing kisses up along Jack's neck and jawbone.
"Alex you don't you're drunk, please stop," Jack said again, he wanted to believe Alex's words, he wanted to believe that Alex loved him, that he wanted him now, that he would have him now, but he was drunk and probably wasn't thinking straight, though then again, they say that when you're drunk you say words you're too scared to say when you're sober, but Jack pushed those thoughts away, right now he needed to get Alex off of him.
"But Jay I fucking love you, I've loved you for so long, I need you," Alex said, his voice cracking at the end, shit was he crying? God Alex could get emotional when he was drunk.
"Alex stop now, I'm gonna take you back inside and you're gonna go to sleep and you're gonna forget everything that happened tonight, alright?" Jack said firmly as he pushed Alex off of him, keeping him at an arms distance to make sure he couldn't kiss him again, as much as he wanted that to happen, Alex would forget everything and that would hurt a lot more than right now.
"Jack but I love you, and I don't see why you don't get this, I love you breaking up with you was stupid, I'm so sorry," Alex said letting more and more tears slip out. Jack didn't reply to this and just grabbed Alex's wrist and pulled him up back to the bus and set him down in his bunk. "Don't leave," Alex begged Jack, but he shook his head.
"No Alex, just go to sleep okay?" Jack said and with that he walked off and headed back to his spot on the stairs.

Leaving Alex there crying and begging him to stay really hurt both of the boys, Jack didn't want to leave Alex, and Alex didn't Jack to leave, but Jack new it would be best, he didn't want to wake up and have Alex confused as to why he was in his bunk and possibly kick him out, no, Jack most certainly could handle it at all, he didn't need more pain right now.