Falling in Love All Over Again

Their little fight was really tearing Jack apart, his stomach was in shreds, he'd started moving his way down to his legs in need of more relief, h'ed become much quieter when on the bus, he'd even started to talk less during the shows and didn't move around as much, no one really noticed though, he just assumed it was because no one really cared about him and didn't notice him that much, he'd also stopped using twitter a lot less, which was something that everyone had noticed, but every time someone brought it up he'd just say that he was too lazy to do anything, at first people would believe him, but now they didn't seem to as much, no one really seemed to buy his excuses anymore, but the skunk haired boy continued to make them just to get everyone to leave him alone. A few times the boys had come in and tried to talk to him about what was going on but every time he'd say he was too tired to talk or to make conversation, that, or he'd just downright ignore them, he knew it was rude, especially since those boys were his best friends, but he didn't have the strength to talk to them, that, and he didn't want them finding out about his cuts, he knew they wouldn't be happy with them, and Alex, god, if Alex found out about them he wouldn't let him out of his sight, whether or not they were fighting, or angry at each other, and he just didn't want that, as much as he loved Alex, and he loved Alex being protective over him, he didn't want it like this not at all. So here Jack was, sitting on his bunk - like he was almost every day after their blow out - alone, with his headphones in listening to sad music, hoping and praying that Alex would come in and say sorry, that's all he wanted really, just for Alex to say sorry to him, but he knew that wouldn't happen, Alex was just as angry at him, as Jack was at Alex, it wouldn't work, at this rate the boys were going to spend the rest of their lives like this, being angry at each other, both too scared to make the first move as to who says sorry - well at least that's what Jack thought, after all, he had no idea that Alex was going to apologize, or at least attempt to.
"Hey Jack," he heard someone - Rian - say from outside his bunk, he let out a loud groan, not really wanting to speak to him right now, or ever for that matter, he just wanted to be left alone forever until he felt motivation to speak to someone, which unless Alex apologised, was probably not going to happen for a very long time, a very long time.
"Fuck off, I'm tired, I don't want to talk," Jack grumbled closing his eyes. He felt his bunk curtain being ripped open and someone take his headphones out, "I said I didn't want to talk goddammit!" Jack yelled out, but that didn't stop Rian, he just sat down on Jack's bunk.
"You spend all day sleeping Jack I know for a fact that you're not tired, you just don't want to talk, and I respect that man," Rian said and Jack cut him off.
"Then why the fuck are you here if you know that I don't want to talk, clearly you don't respect it, not at all," Jack snapped, but Rian just ignored him.
"But you're going to have to speak to speak to us eventually Jack, you can't spend your entire life here on your bunk, only ever moving for bathroom breaks," yeah totally just bathroom breaks, Jack thought to himself. "And sound checks and concerts, and I know it sounds easy just to do that, oh trust me I know it does, but you can't let this stupid fight between you and Alex get you down this bad, I understand that you're upset Jack, I really do, I see it every time that I look at you, I see that you're upset, and I can tell that this goes deeper than the yelling a few weeks ago, because you wouldn't be that upset over it, you two have fought like that before and you forgive him easily, it doesn't even last five minutes, so I know there's something deeper." Rian said as he looked at Jack, Rian's knowledge of everything going on around him just by looking at someone or something was incredible, well at lest in Jack's opinion, "Can you just answer me one thing?" Rian asked and Jack nodded after a few seconds.
"Okay," The skunk haired boy said quietly looking down.
"Why don't you apologise to him? I'm not saying that it's your fault, not in any way at all, but it's obvious that you're upset over it, and want him to apologise, so why don't you make the first move?" Rian asked and Jack shrugged, honestly, he knew that he was too scared to actually apologise to him, in fear that he wouldn't forgive him and laugh at his attempts to make everything better again between them, he knew deep down that Alex wouldn't do that, they were best friends after all, but Jack just couldn't shake the feeling.
"Because I'm scared he won't accept and he'll laugh in my face, also I don't believe it's my fault, he yelled at me first, he snapped at me, I was only defending myself," Jack said looking down, "He was the one to break up with me," Jack said quietly, which instantly made Rian's eyes widen.
"Wait wait, is this because of that, is this why you're so upset, you're still not over him yet are you, is that why you've had nothing but one night stands since him?" Rian asked, his words rushing into one another as he spoke.
"Y-yeah, but please don't tell him! He probably doesn't care about me like that anymore, I'm sure he wants to be nothing but friends from now on, please don't," Jack said quietly looking at Rian with pleading eyes, he didn't think he could handle Alex knowing that he still loved him so much, that he still cared about him so much, especially if the older boy didn't want him back, that would crush Jack.
"Of course I wouldn't, if I was in your place I wouldn't want anyone to, I understand it's alright," Rian said and Jack gave him a grateful smile.
"Thank you so much Ri, I really appreciate it," Jack said with a sigh letting his gaze fall to his lap as he played with his fingers.
"Well I better go now, I think the other boy are going to do something, you wanna come?" Rian asked and stood up, Jack just shook his head.
"No I'm good thanks Ri, maybe next time though," something that he always said, though this time he actually meant it, maybe he would finally get into everything again, actually have fun, maybe, "Can I have my headphones back now?" He asked and Rian nodded with a chuckle handing him his headphones back and Jack thanked him, watching as Rian walked off probably to go hang out with the other boys.

Jack sighed as laid back in his bed, his hands behind his bed as he stared up at the lights above his bunk, he was now just thinking, thinking about everything really, about Alex, about their fight, about their break up, about their year and two weeks of them being together, just about everything and anything, usually doing this would destroy Jack inside, but right now it didn't, the bus was silent as the other boys were all out somewhere - Jack honestly didn't know where - and it was just a good time to think. After talking to Rian about everything he felt much better, he'd kept these thoughts bottled up for years now, years and years, and it was nice to finally let them go, and actually speak to someone about them, if only he knew how good he'd feel after maybe he would've done it before, though he did feel awkward and weird doing it, and he was sure that talking to Rian today would be a one off unless him and Alex got back together then he could speak to Alex - though that was hilly unlikely so Jack didn't count on it. But now maybe there was a slight chance that they'd get back together, maybe.