Write It Down, Without a Sound

July 19th

Dear Journal,
It’s not often when we get a large amount of glorious free time where we get to be off the bus and today was one of those days. At first we didn’t really have any idea of what we could do, didn’t know the city or what there was to do in it. Luckily enough Nate happened to spot a sign on the way in last night for some sort of Adventure World type theme park. I honestly have no idea how he managed to spot that sign in the middle of the night, I guess he was playing ‘sing the sign’ game for entertainment. I wouldn’t know, I was out like a light in my bunk.

The park was small compared to most theme parks but still just as good and being a weekday there wasn’t many people there. Practically no waiting lines for anything at all. It was great! Of course the guys made a bet of who could go on the most amount of rides and games in the two and a half hours we had there. (Would have been three but Nate got lost finding it for twenty minutes.) Somehow I ended up being dragged here, there and everywhere once someone found something ‘cool’.

For the most part I didn’t go on any rides. I’m not big on them not having much experience on any and I’m not all that comfortable with heights. Kennedy, Pat and Garrett all tried pouting and making puppy dog eyes to get me to go on one of the two rollercoaster rides with them. I kept my foot down. I have never been on one and like to keep it that way if I can help it. Garrett gave me his camera to shot some shots for their tour video while they went on the ride. Pat easily scream (in joy) the loudest.

I spent a lot of time in the Arcade section and bet everyone but John (I’m sure it was the long arms) in ice hockey and got the highest score on the Star Wars pinball machine over the guys. I had extra practice on that from holidays when I was young, but they don’t need to know that. Haha.

Kennedy and I got lost in the house of mirrors and in the end Jared had to come a rescue us, only to get lost himself trying to find me. Pat suggested finding string from somewhere and doing a rescue but we got out before it came to that. I managed to scare Kennedy and Jared good in there though, even with all the mirrors they somehow didn’t see me walking up behind them. I stood there for a couple of minutes until they noticed me. Oh, did they jump! Jared’s yelp echoed throughout the building, it was hilarious! I think Garrett may have got part of that on camera. I’ll have to ask him.

Not long after that we had to leave. We only had the morning off before the band had a midafternoon in-store signing followed by a small side show with All Time Low and two other bands. My help wasn’t really needed so I filmed some stuff for the tour video of them playing to a sold out venue. It was a tiny place and hours after I’m still surprised so many people managed to fit in there. It was horribly humid too and near the end I was finding it hard to breathe. I can’t image what it would have been like in the crowd. It was a brilliant show though.

None of the bands got to stick around for the fans afterwards because of bus call. It’s a long drive to the next city, I’d love to write what that city is but I’ve lost count and sense of direction weeks ago. Jared and John usually know but they’re both asleep. And I should think about doing the same. It’s been a long day and I’ve just spent the last two hours watching Sons of Anarchy with Kennedy on his laptop. I missed the last half of the last season so he’s helping me catch up before the new one comes out.

Well, goodnight. Sleep tight and dream of bed bugs tonight! ZZZZZ...

July 20th

Dear Journal,
Kennedy kissed me today.

And I kind of panicked and ruined the whole moment. I’m not used to the whole relationship thing and have never really been anything over a crush before. It was just so out of nowhere while we were hanging out, one minute we were talking via notes and I was smiling at what he wrote and then next minute he kissed me.

He looked quite shocked himself.

I’m not good with new situations that I’ve never been in before without the slightest warning. It got real awkward, real quick and we pretty much agreed that ‘yeah, it happened’ before I left the room.

I have no idea what the fuck to do. The guy I have a crush on kissed me and hasn’t said more than two words to me since. I’m confused. Did he really mean it? Kennedy isn’t the type to mess around with someone’s feelings though. Does he know I like him?

I feel so out of place right now.

John’s been asking me what’s wrong and following me around like a lost puppy. I can’t talk to him about this; he and Kennedy are best friends. How does he know something is up anyway?

July 21st

Dear Journal
Me and Kennedy are still not talking. Well, ok, yes as are talking to each other but not like before. It’s like we both don’t know what to do about this, how get over the awkward hump, - suck it up and sort it out.

We tried talking about it and every time one of us goes to do so, someone walks into the room or calls for one of us or one of us has to be somewhere. Kennedy even tried to hide us behind one of the trucks at the venue so we could talk in private and one of the guys from This Century happen to walk past and well, that was the end of our private talk.

I hope this can be sorted out somehow, if anything I don’t to lose him as a friend. He’s been one of the closest friends I’ve had in a long time. I want to try and sort this out but I have no idea what to do. I have no experience for things like this. I hardly have the experience to know how to kiss the guy back. Apparently my lack of voice offended guys in high school.

Being stuck on the bus isn’t helping; you can barely whisper and not have anyone else hear it. It can be quite a pain sometimes. Speaking of noises Jared just stumbled past my bunk, a sure sign that the movie is over and everyone is going to bed.

Here’s to another late night lying in bed worrying and thinking.

July 22nd

Dear Journal
Today started off as any ‘normal’ day, apart from the whole Kennedy thing.
John woke me up by crawling into my bunk and flopped on me like a giant sandbag and refused to move until I promised to get up. For a skinny guy, he is freaking heavy. At least that style of wakeup call is better than the air horn. Anything is better than that fucking air horn!

I finally got my butt up and dressed and we all went out for breakfast. It was after the morning rush thankfully but we weren’t the only band there, blessthefall was already eating half the shop out as we walked in the door. That’s something that hasn’t ceased to amaze me – no matter what city we go to and how big it is, we always bump into someone that guys know on the tour when we go out to places. It’s weird. Like this morning there had to have been at least three dozen cafe/food shops around the venue, yet we end up in the one blessthefall picked out and Fall Out Boy entered just as we were leaving. Sometimes the world is a bit smaller than we realise.

Set up for the band’s set was the same as any other day. I helped with the merch tent as usual and tidied up the bus when set up was done and had nothing to do for a while.

I spent a bit of time wondering around the area checking out the tents, food stalls and whatnot with Jared and Pat. We found an icecream stall and Pat got the biggest icecream possible, Jared and I had to help him eat it because not five minutes after he brought it, it was already melting down his arm. There was a purple dot trail on the grass behind him between the third and second stage, it was hilarious.

Kennedy tried again to talk to me before the set but before he could even say “hello” he was already being pulled away for something by Tim. He made an effort to wave and smile before he was out of sight. That in its self counted for a lot.

The set was a bit shorter today than usual and the band made up for it by being even more enthusiastic on stage, if that was even possible. The crowd was eating it up and when John took his shirt off the screams drowned out the music for a second or two. I got that on tape, I’ll have to remember to give Garrett a copy in case he wants it for the tour vid.

After the set I was invited out with John and This Century to check out some of the bands that were playing and finally, finally got to see Bring Me the Horizon play. I had been hanging out to set a full set of theirs and now I can say I have. It was awesome too!

Not three minutes after I got back the guys were getting ready to go out to some bus party-get-together-thingy, I didn’t want to go, I want to sit down for a while and rest my feet. I started playing Ratchet and Clank as the guys left. For a long while I thought I had the bus to myself and I was so into the game that when the door to the back lounge opened I jumped almost a foot off the couch. I probably would have screamed if I could. Kennedy shut the door and sat down next to me,

I don’t think he ever realised he scared the living crap out of me.

We honestly sat there silent for ten minutes waiting to see if anyone was going to knock on the door, thankfully no one did. We finally got to talk then. It was awkward to start with to say the least when we waited for each other to speak (lack of a better word) first. I defiantly wasn’t expecting for Kennedy to say ‘sorry for the other day’ and two seconds later kiss me again right on the corner of my mouth.

What happened next was so cliché it actually fitted the real life situation right. He admitted he was sorry for doing that without asking then said that he liked me a little more than a friend and wanted to know if I’d go to the movies with him whenever we get the chance to. For the first time in days I didn’t have a notebook or pen on me so all I could do was nod. He pulled me into a hug, kissed my cheek and then asked for help on the game I was playing because he has no idea where certain gold bolts were hidden, like him kissing me and asking me out to the movies was a normal thing.

So I guess I have a future date lined up. I’m still in a little shock over it. I’ve never been on a proper date before. It’s sort of sudden, one day we’re hanging out like normal best friends then he’s asking me out on a date of sorts.

Wow, this tour sure does have its surprises. I’m blushing so hard just writing about it, geez.