Write It Down, Without a Sound
Journal Entry: Twelve - Fifteen
June 16th
Dear Journal,
Today is a perfect example of ‘riding the highs and lows’. A bit of a mess, really, but not extremely bad I guess.
We arrived at the venue just before lunch and even with unpacking everything we all managed to make it into the food tent before the main rush. The food was amazing, the biggest spread I’ve seen all tour. There were ten different types of icecream available even. Naturally the guys turned dessert into a game of who could make the most disgusting but delicious bowl of icecream. I think Pat won after he added half a bottle of chocolate and raspberry syrup to his. He managed to actually eat it all and not be sick after. How? I wouldn’t have a clue. His stomach gotta be made out of iron or something.
After that was the usual rush for sound check and the set. Turns out there was mess up with the set times, so the band had an extra half hour to waste. Garrett and John found an empty ping pong table in one of the back stage tents. I won all my matches though I’m sure Jared (who happens to be really good) went easy on me. It was really fun!
And here is where the low happens. After the set the guys met up with This Century (even though I’ve met them a few times now, I still can’t remember who is who, I feel bad about that) and after a while they started talking about past tours and home. I got really homesick suddenly for some reason. I’ve been homesick a few times already, nothing bad, just missing things and finding communication back home hard, etc. But it really hit me then, like a tidal wave. I actually felt like crying.
I told Kennedy I was going back to the bus but as I was walking away, he ran up to me and asked if I was alright. I’m not really sure how he knew I was upset, I thought I was hiding it well. Before I could answer he linked arms with me and suggested we go for a walk. Kennedy is a really sweet guy, very caring. All the guys on the bus are, but since the first day he’s always tried hard to make me feel like an equal part of the group, which I really appreciate.
We ended up walking around the grounds for near on an hour. I eventually told him why I was upset and he gave me tips on how to deal with it on the road. Posting postcards back home was one of his suggestions, I had thought about it when I saw some at a few service stations we’ve stopped at but never did anything about it. I might now, the next time I have a chance to buy one. Kennedy and I had a really good talk during our walk, I really enjoyed it and I think it’s the first full one-on-one talk we’ve had so far. He offered to have a movie night with me, just us, after bus call. I hope he likes Nightmare before Christmas, seeing as I get to pick the movie.
June 17th
Dear Journal,
Sometimes it’s hard to get the guys attention when I need to tell them something. It’s not their fault really; they’re not used to this. Not used to me. Sure we’ve hung out a few times before this but not to this extent. They’re used to people calling out when they wanted something not someone silently sitting in the background waving their arms around like an idiot.
I’ve actually thought of buying a little foam ball and throwing it at their heads every time I needed to tell someone something when I couldn’t catch their attention. I doubt the guys would like it, but I’m quite fond of the idea myself. Could be fun.
Head shot, ten points! Nose shot, twenty five!
In other news, the movie night with Kennedy turned out great. We squished up into his bunk and watched it on my laptop while munching on chocolate chip cookies John brought the other day. Garrett tried to crash our movie session when he found out what we were watching, Kennedy shooed him off, there was simple no room in the bunk for another person. He stole the cookies though. All two that was left in the bag “Is that all I get? Two?!” Ha!
June 18th
Dear Journal,
I don’t know why I start all these entries with ‘Dear Journal’. It sounds a bit stupid to be honest, but it makes it feel more complete. Gives each entry a start, a beginning. Helps me write with not worrying over how the first sentence should be. Dumb considering I’ll probably be the only one, hopefully the only one, to read this. My little rabbit seems to be doing a good job guarding it.
Today was a travelling day. Nothing too much happened. I spent most of the day reading, playing games (I bet John in every single game of Guess Who. Woot!) and catching up on shows I watch. The odd thing with touring is that for the most part you’re either really busy or haven’t got much to do, very little mix of the two. It makes it interesting though, I can’t lie about that.
Travelling days give you a lot of time to think as well. I try not to. I’m afraid if I think too much about what I’m doing, why I’m here, I’ll end up how I was on the first day; scared, unsure and wanting to go home. In a way I’m still unsure about all this, but now in another, I can see why everyone talked me into it once the idea was voiced. I can’t actually remember who idea this was anymore.
Maybe John was right; I will be fine. I hope so. Some things are hard, will always be and hopefully things will stay how they are for the rest of the tour.
June 19th
Dear Journal,
I got another note from Kennedy today. Well, I’ve had a few, but they were just continuations of conversations. This wasn’t.
‘I figured I should probably ask you this in person but I didn’t know what your reaction would be and it’s not really any of my business. Curiosity killed the cat for a reason, I guess. It’s been two weeks since the start of the tour. Already! Can you believe it?
I guess what I wanted to ask was how you were going. You seem happier, more relaxed lately from the first day, we’re all noticed that. How are you finding things now? I hope you’re having fun, I know living and working like this gets tiring and hectic. I’m surprised you haven’t thrown anything at someone’s head when they don’t notice that you have to say something.’
I smiled at that part, remembering what I wrote two days ago. If only he knew.
‘My offer still stands, about having some to talk to if you need it. We should have another movie night sometime.
Kennedy :)’
Dear Journal,
Today is a perfect example of ‘riding the highs and lows’. A bit of a mess, really, but not extremely bad I guess.
We arrived at the venue just before lunch and even with unpacking everything we all managed to make it into the food tent before the main rush. The food was amazing, the biggest spread I’ve seen all tour. There were ten different types of icecream available even. Naturally the guys turned dessert into a game of who could make the most disgusting but delicious bowl of icecream. I think Pat won after he added half a bottle of chocolate and raspberry syrup to his. He managed to actually eat it all and not be sick after. How? I wouldn’t have a clue. His stomach gotta be made out of iron or something.
After that was the usual rush for sound check and the set. Turns out there was mess up with the set times, so the band had an extra half hour to waste. Garrett and John found an empty ping pong table in one of the back stage tents. I won all my matches though I’m sure Jared (who happens to be really good) went easy on me. It was really fun!
And here is where the low happens. After the set the guys met up with This Century (even though I’ve met them a few times now, I still can’t remember who is who, I feel bad about that) and after a while they started talking about past tours and home. I got really homesick suddenly for some reason. I’ve been homesick a few times already, nothing bad, just missing things and finding communication back home hard, etc. But it really hit me then, like a tidal wave. I actually felt like crying.
I told Kennedy I was going back to the bus but as I was walking away, he ran up to me and asked if I was alright. I’m not really sure how he knew I was upset, I thought I was hiding it well. Before I could answer he linked arms with me and suggested we go for a walk. Kennedy is a really sweet guy, very caring. All the guys on the bus are, but since the first day he’s always tried hard to make me feel like an equal part of the group, which I really appreciate.
We ended up walking around the grounds for near on an hour. I eventually told him why I was upset and he gave me tips on how to deal with it on the road. Posting postcards back home was one of his suggestions, I had thought about it when I saw some at a few service stations we’ve stopped at but never did anything about it. I might now, the next time I have a chance to buy one. Kennedy and I had a really good talk during our walk, I really enjoyed it and I think it’s the first full one-on-one talk we’ve had so far. He offered to have a movie night with me, just us, after bus call. I hope he likes Nightmare before Christmas, seeing as I get to pick the movie.
June 17th
Dear Journal,
Sometimes it’s hard to get the guys attention when I need to tell them something. It’s not their fault really; they’re not used to this. Not used to me. Sure we’ve hung out a few times before this but not to this extent. They’re used to people calling out when they wanted something not someone silently sitting in the background waving their arms around like an idiot.
I’ve actually thought of buying a little foam ball and throwing it at their heads every time I needed to tell someone something when I couldn’t catch their attention. I doubt the guys would like it, but I’m quite fond of the idea myself. Could be fun.
Head shot, ten points! Nose shot, twenty five!
In other news, the movie night with Kennedy turned out great. We squished up into his bunk and watched it on my laptop while munching on chocolate chip cookies John brought the other day. Garrett tried to crash our movie session when he found out what we were watching, Kennedy shooed him off, there was simple no room in the bunk for another person. He stole the cookies though. All two that was left in the bag “Is that all I get? Two?!” Ha!
June 18th
Dear Journal,
I don’t know why I start all these entries with ‘Dear Journal’. It sounds a bit stupid to be honest, but it makes it feel more complete. Gives each entry a start, a beginning. Helps me write with not worrying over how the first sentence should be. Dumb considering I’ll probably be the only one, hopefully the only one, to read this. My little rabbit seems to be doing a good job guarding it.
Today was a travelling day. Nothing too much happened. I spent most of the day reading, playing games (I bet John in every single game of Guess Who. Woot!) and catching up on shows I watch. The odd thing with touring is that for the most part you’re either really busy or haven’t got much to do, very little mix of the two. It makes it interesting though, I can’t lie about that.
Travelling days give you a lot of time to think as well. I try not to. I’m afraid if I think too much about what I’m doing, why I’m here, I’ll end up how I was on the first day; scared, unsure and wanting to go home. In a way I’m still unsure about all this, but now in another, I can see why everyone talked me into it once the idea was voiced. I can’t actually remember who idea this was anymore.
Maybe John was right; I will be fine. I hope so. Some things are hard, will always be and hopefully things will stay how they are for the rest of the tour.
June 19th
Dear Journal,
I got another note from Kennedy today. Well, I’ve had a few, but they were just continuations of conversations. This wasn’t.
‘I figured I should probably ask you this in person but I didn’t know what your reaction would be and it’s not really any of my business. Curiosity killed the cat for a reason, I guess. It’s been two weeks since the start of the tour. Already! Can you believe it?
I guess what I wanted to ask was how you were going. You seem happier, more relaxed lately from the first day, we’re all noticed that. How are you finding things now? I hope you’re having fun, I know living and working like this gets tiring and hectic. I’m surprised you haven’t thrown anything at someone’s head when they don’t notice that you have to say something.’
I smiled at that part, remembering what I wrote two days ago. If only he knew.
‘My offer still stands, about having some to talk to if you need it. We should have another movie night sometime.
Kennedy :)’
♠ ♠ ♠
Hoped you liked and thanks for reading!Sorry but there won't be any updates for about two weeks as I'm going away and won't have access to the internet. I'll update as soon as I get home :) Hope everyone had a lovely Christmas and New Years!