We Can Change the World

"One more please," I said to the bartender. He shook his head at me, but handed me another glass. "Thanks," I said, taking the glass.

Just as I was about to take it down, Vanessa grabbed my hand. "Dani stop," she said.

"Why," I said. She wasn't Joe. She shouldn't be stopping me. "You said that I needed to have fun tonight. Well I'm having fun Nessa. Woo!"

"Dani, seriously," she said. "Put the glass down. You've had more than enough. How many have you had already?"

"A few," I said.

She looked at the bartender, questioningly. "She's had about 9 double shots of straight vodka. I'll tell ya, for such a tiny girl, she sure can pack a punch."

"She's underage," Vanessa screamed at him.

"Stop it Joe," I screamed. "Oops Vanessa." I giggled.

She froze. "Joe?"

"I meant Vanessa," I rolled my eyes, and tried to put the glass to my lips.

"No Dani," she tightened her grip on my hand. "We're out of here. Let's go."

"No, we're having fun," I said, tears in my eyes. Why was she doing this to me? I just wanted to forget. She just stared at me, waiting for me to correct myself. I sighed. "I just want to forget Vanessa. That's all. I just want it to go away."

"Want what to go away," she said, taking the glass from my hands and putting it on the other side of her. I didn't stop her.

"Everything," I said. "Him, her, the kiss . . . I mean . . . the bliss of loving my best friend." Vanessa's eyes widened.

"Dani, did you kiss Joe," she asked softly.

I nodded slowly. Tears came in my eyes. "I love him Vanessa. I love him so much. And he's right. All my past relationships have been shipwrecks. But I --" I stopped. I couldn't continue. I knew that all my past relationships had been horrible. But that was only because he wasn't the one I was with. I needed Joe to make me okay. . . to make me whole.

I didn't even notice as Vanessa led me to the car. She got me food first. When we got to the hotel, we sat in the car for a long time, just talking while I ate, trying to sober up. With all the carbs in me right now, I felt a little better.

"How long have you guys been together," Vanessa asked.

"A week," I answered. I couldn't lie to her. "But you can't tell Selena. It would crush her."

"I won't," she sighed. "You will have to though . . . eventually. When you're ready, I mean. It's not fair."

"I will," I promised. "I just can't yet."

"How does Joe feel about all this," she asked.

"He acts like he's okay with it, but I know he doesn't like it," I said. "Just like he doesn't like not telling his brothers."

"Nick and Kevin don't know?" She seemed surprised.

I shook my head. We were quiet for a few minutes. "Vanessa, don't tell Joe about tonight, okay?"

She sighed. "You really love him, huh?"

"More than anything," I whispered.

"I promise," she said. "I won't say a word. But promise me Dani, that you'll stop the drinking. You don't need it."

"Thanks. I'll try," I smiled as I crumbled up my wrapper. "So I should get going."

"Okay," she said, hugging me again.

"Thanks for coming tonight," I said.

"Anytime," she smiled.

I wobbled out of her car and into the hotel. The elevator seemed so far away. I stumbled forward. "Stupid rug," I mumbled as I almost tripped. Finally, I got to the elevators, and pushed the bottom. I was really dreading facing Joe. I was sharing a bed with him – he'd know. I was figuring my chances of Kevin letting me sleep in his room without telling Joe when the elevator door opened. My jaw literally fell to the floor.

"Ben?"