Days Like These

Vic sat there, alone in Kellin’s room. He felt so guilty. It was his fault Kellin was here. He’d been so terrible towards the boy. Mike had explained that the only reason Kellin pushed him away was because he was scared. He was scared of losing the first person that’s been ever been good to him. When he found out he was pregnant, he was scared of telling Vic because he thought that the boy would think he’s trying to tie him down.

The heart monitor began going faster, causing Vic to look up. He saw Kellin moving then, he heard the chant of ‘my baby’. “Kellin, calm down. Please.” Vic hit the nurse button and continued to try to calm the boy down.

“Vic?”

“Yeah, it’s me.”

“What happened what to my baby?”

“Just relax and breathe with me Kellin. Follow my breathing.” Vic inhaled and exhaled, with Kellin following his lead. Just then, a nurse walked in.

“Is he good?”

“Yeah, I just calmed him down. But they said to hit the button when he wakes up.”

“Well Mr. Quinn, you seem to be ok. Your vitals are good. I’m going to take off the I.V. so this may hurt a bit.” The nurse carefully pulled out the needle while Vic texted his mom and brother that Kellin was awake. “There we go. Have you told him or …”

“I was about to.”

“Ok, then I’ll leave you to it. Hit the button when you need me or for an emergency.” And she walked out.

“Is my baby …?”

“No, our baby is fine.” Vic said with faint smile.

“I thought you wanted me to get rid of it.”

“I’m sorry for what I said back in my room. I’m just scared. I don’t want to be a bad dad ya’know? I don’t want to disappoint the baby or you.”

“Me?”

“Yeah, I’m kind of glad I get to have a baby with you.” The comment made Kellin blush.

“You know, we both acted like fools. I’m sorry for walking out.”

“Hey, it’s fine.”

“Did I at least enjoy it?” Kellin asked with a harder blush covering his face.

“Why don’t you ask Himes?”

“Oh god.” Kellin groaned.

“Yeah, you said that except it was high pitched.”

“Vic!”

“And that.”

“I hate you.”

“Aw, come on, don’t be like that.” Kellin crossed his arms and turned his head away from Vic. “Kellin.” Vic whined. “I was joking.” Kellin felt the bed
move, as if someone came to sit on it. “I really am sorry though Kells. I should’ve been more understanding. I want things to go back to the way they were.”

“But they never will.” Kellin replied as he leaned onto Vic side. He took the arm closest to him, the right, and placed it behind his back so Vic could hold him while he played the fingers on the left hand. “We’re having a baby and you’re with Alex.”

“I’m not with anyone.”

“Victor, I’ve seen you guys make out. Shit, I even walked in on you guys making out.” Kellin said with a sniffle.

“Wanna know a secret?” Kellin nodded his head eagerly. “Every time I was with Alex, I thought of you.”

“Can you tell me the truth?” it was Vic’s turn to nod. He knew what Kellin was talking about.

“I tried to be mad at you, I tried to hate you but then I’d see you in class or in the hallways or in the cafeteria and it’s like all that trying went put to waste. I didn’t like hating you but when I woke up alone and you weren’t in my house, I was upset. Then you avoided me so I thought you remembered and you were upset. But then the thing in the bathroom, during third period, happened and … I said when you left, I wanted you to remember because then maybe this whole thing would blow over.”

Kellin didn’t say anything, he just continued playing with Vic’s fingers and maybe that’s all Vic needed because he knew then that everything would be ok. There’s just one thing he needed and he hoped Kellin wouldn’t mind.

Carefully removing his arm from behind Kellin, Vic used the hand to tilt Kellin’s chin up. They stared at each other than Vic leaned forward before pausing so their lips barely touched. He felt Kellin exhale and knew at that moment, that Kellin wanted it just as bad as he does.

There were lips to lips and tongue to tongue. Vic grabbed the back of Kellin’s head and pulled him as close as possible while Kellin wrapped his arms around Vic’s neck. It was awkward and uncomfortable but it was still their moment. When they pulled apart, the heart monitor was going crazy causing Vic to laugh and Kellin to blush.

“Was that how we kissed that night?”

“No, this was better.”

*

They walked into school, hand in hand, on the lovely first day of December. They weren’t dating, per say, but they were something. Alan was the first person to walk up to them and just stood there, staring hard.

“What?” Kellin said as he took Alan’s hand in his and led both boys to his locker.

“Why’re you holding hands with him?” Alan asked not so nicely.

“Because I can?”

“What about everything he did to you? He’s a piece of shit!”

“Hey, I’m right here you know?”

“Yes I do now, if you’ll excuse, I’m talking to Kellin you dipshit.”

“Listen here you short a-.”

“I’m taller than you!”

“But you’re still an ass.”

“At least I’m not the one tha-.”

“Both of you shut up.” Kellin said as he slammed the locker door. “I have a headache and I don’t wanna hear you guys fighting.”

“He started it.” Vic and Alan mumbled at the same time.

“And I’m ending it. Now Alan, give me my hug and go to class. Vic, carry my backpack.” When Alan said bye, Vic and Kellin walked to class holding hands.

“Oh, so you guys are together now?” Alex said as stepped in front of them, literally coming out of nowhere.

“No.” Kellin replied coldly. “Now if you’ll excuse us.” Just as they walked around, Alex gripped Vic by the elbow.

“You know, I want to talk to Vic really quick.” Vic was about to deny but then Kellin let go of him and took his backpack before leaving. “What the fuck Vic?”

“What?”

“Why the fuck are you guys holding hands? I thought we had something going on between us.”

“We never had anything between us. I was in a bad place and you knew it. Now that I think about it, you may have taken advantage of me.”

“You know I’d never do something like that baby.” Alex said softly as he rubbed Vic’s arm gently.

“I bet that’s what you told Jack too right?”

“I don’t want Jack, I only want you.” A choked noise came from behind Alex, causing him to freeze. A watery ‘Alex’ was heard before Vic found himself standing alone in the hallways. He walked the rest of the way to first period and took a seat next to Kellin.

“And you’re looking pretty suspicious.” Kellin said without looking up from what he was doing on his phone. “You’re probably planning a heist.”

“What?”

“I said if you want to go to one of my friend’s garage party?”

“You have friends outside of school?” Vic teased.

“Yes I do actually. I met him at Babies’RUs while I went to buy stuff for peanut.” Just then, Austin walked in wearing a smirk on his face as he took his seat behind Vic and Kellin.

“Care to tell me why Alan threatened to cut off your dick?”

“Because they were fighting this morning while I had a headache thank you very much.” Austin just smiled and shook his head.

“He hates your guts.”

“Oh gee, I wasn’t aware.” Vic said sarcastically, adding an eye roll for dramatic effect.

“So you Austin, do you wanna go to Matty’s party with us?”

“You’re going too Vic?”

“Um, is a party really a good idea Kells?”

“Victor,” Kellin said with a sigh. “Of course it is. It’s not a lot of people there anyways.”

“Yeah,” Austin piped in. “It’s roughly fifty to seventy people so it good.”

“But why in December?” Vic asked.

“He has one on the first and last Friday’s of the month so since today is the first Friday of December, he’s throwing one. Don’t worry, he doesn’t serve alcoholic drinks just soda and chips. It’s only his friends that go there anyways.”

“Oh.” They were silent for a few moments before Vic spoke again. “Where’s the teacher?”

“I don’t know. You guys wanna leave?” the three boys walked down the hallway towards the library to pass the rest of first period.

*

“So what should I wear?” Vic asked over the phone as he stared at his closet.

“Wear something comfortable. It’s not like there’s anyone to impress.”

“Except you.”

“Vic.” Kellin said sternly.

“Sorry, sorry. I just don’t see why we can’t be together even though we like each other.”

“It’s … complicated.” Kellin sighed. And it was … if you looked at it from an angle. He liked Vic but he was also talking to Matty nonstop so a crush formed. Things tend to happen like that.

“Whatever you say. Ok, I’m done. Want me to still come over?”

“Yeah, I wanna show you something.” With a push to the end button, Kellin finished getting ready before walking down the stairs in order to open the door for Vic. He took his hand and pulled him up the stairs quickly. “Sorry, Katherine still doesn’t like you so I had to be quick.” They walked into the room and Kellin placed Vic in front of the bassinet. “So do you think this is good?”

“It’s beautiful.”

“Thanks. Do you think you and the guys can repaint my room?”

“Why?”

“Because I want my room to happy for peanut.”

“Yeah, I can do it.”

“Thank you!” Kellin squealed as he wrapped his arms around Vic neck and left him a big wet kiss on the cheek. “Ready to go?” with a quiet ‘yeah’, Vic and Kellin left the house and walked to Austin’s house.

“How many months are you?”

“A month I think.”

“Are you scared?”

“I just want to get through the first trimester and then I’ll tell you.”

They continued talking about nothing, occasionally flirting here and there. When they reached Austin’s place, Alan was walking out the door.

“Kellin!” he shouted with enthusiasm. “And Victor.” he added dryly.

“Alan, play nice.”

“I make no promises.” Kellin raised an eyebrow at him and he shrugged. “Austin is almost done and he should be coming out … right about … now!” and as he predicted, Austin came outside with car keys in his hand.

“Let’s go!” Austin said as he unlocked his car.

*

When they got there, the first thing Vic noticed was the way Kellin became excited. He was practically ready to duck and roll out of the car and he probably would’ve if he weren’t carrying a baby in his womb. Once Austin parked the car, Alan and Kellin jumped out and headed towards the house.

“Have you guys been here before?”

“Yeah, we’ve came here with the rest of the guys a few times.”

“Why didn’t I know?” Austin gave him a disapproving look. “Ok, ok, I was Alex probably.”

“He’s a really good guy too.” Vic let out a grunt, causing Austin to laugh. “Yeah, can’t really hate him.”

“If this is a garage party, where is everyone?” Vic asked as they began walking towards the house as well.

“We came to help set up.”

“Kellin isn’t going to do anything right?”

“Matty probably won’t let him.” when they got to the door, Vic turned to Austin.

“Is there something I should know?”

“Vic! Get in; I want you to meet Matty!” Kellin said before Austin could answer. An unknown voice shouted from inside. “Matthew! I’m not disabled!” just then, a short-gingered haired boy (man?) with a mustache and beard (what the actual fuck!) came from out behind Kellin.

“Hey Aus! Oh and you must Vic! Come on in, please.”

It was a nice house; it wasn’t over the top expensive but you could tell they had somewhat a good amount of cash. There were five people, including Alan, carrying and moving them about the living room and towards another door, which Vic believed led to the garage. There was a loud crash that came from, said location and Matty went to investigate, loudly cursing them is his mom’s fancy bowl was the thing that crashed.

“I’m gonna go make sure Alan didn’t brake anything.” And just like that, it was Kellin and Vic alone. For about two seconds before Matty came back in.

“Do you think you could keep Kellin company until we’re done?”

“I’m perfectly capable of helping, thank you very much.”

“I know babe, but please just take it easy. I don’t want to have you in the hospital again.” Matty had walked up to Kellin and held his face gently in between his hands, moving his thumb on his cheekbone.

“But I wasn’t there for moving things.” Kellin whined as he placed his hand over Matty’s hand. “I was there because I was stressed.”

“Kellin please, I just don’t want to risk anything.” With a dejected sigh, Kellin agreed and pulled Vic towards the couch.

“Nice to know why things are complicated.” Vic muttered.

“Vic, I-.”

“Like Matty, it’s obvious. Why didn’t you tell me?” he whispered. “Instead of saying it’s complicated, you could’ve been honest and said you liked someone
else.”

“Can we talk about this another time?” Kellin didn’t get an answer, instead, he saw Vic get up and Alan sits in his place.

“He knows?”

“He knows.”

*

The party sucked. Well, no it was actually pretty good and there weren’t many people. Vic had learned that the other four people in the house were a part of a band called Memphis May Fire and Matty was the lead singer. The worst part though, which Vic was just like ugh why, was the fact that Austin was right because not once has Matty (or his friends) ever made Vic feel uncomfortable.

He sat in the back, against the wall while watching everyone else have a great time. What he wanted to do was go home but Austin was his ride home and he didn’t want to seem like a sick in the mud. Vic saw Kellin a couple of times, blushing around people who he was talking to. What was needed is
air. Vic needed air that wasn’t polluted with sweat and stench.

*

“Hey, wanna walk around?”

“Around where?”

“My backyard.” Matty said with a smile. Kellin giggled and nodded, letting himself be led out back by the gingered-haired boy. “You know, Vic isn’t as bad
as Alan made him out to be.”

“And he isn’t.”

“Then we have you guys stopped talking?” Kellin blushed a bit.

“It’s complicated really.” He said with a sigh. “So, I liked the music. You guys are great.” Kellin added, trying desperately to change the subject.

“Thanks. It’s fun being on stage even if it is for a small crowd. Someday I hope to be playing main stage at Warped.”

“And when you are, I’ll be getting backstage passes right? I’ll just travel with you and soak up the summer sun.”

They continued to walk around and talk, then Matty stopped them under the big willow tree in the middle of the yard. Just as Kellin was about to talk, he leaned in and kissed him. To say Kellin was shocked is an understatement. He somewhat just froze and it wasn’t until Matty began moving away, that he wrapped his arms his neck and kissed him back. They split apart, both boys breathing a bit heavily.

“Wow.”

“Yeah, um.” Kellin looked over Matty’s shoulder, trying to find out what happened, when he caught Vic’s eyes. His body was tense, his face was cold, and his eyes held both hurt and anger. “Vic.” He whispered. Matty turned around and he scratched the back of his neck. Vic walked away and out of sight. Kellin turned to look at Matty. He didn’t know what to do. He wanted to stay but he also wanted to go after Vic. “Um. I-.”

“Go.” Matty said gently.

“But I-.”

“Love him.” there was sadness in his eyes. Kellin felt like shit. “I’ll be upset but I’d rather see you happy then know that you could never love me the way you love him. Now go after your future.” Kellin gave Matty a kiss on the cheek before running after Vic.

He looked through the small crowed of people before spotting Alan. He shouted his name but the music was loud. Shimming his way through the sweaty bodies, he finally made his way over and got his attention.

“Have you seen Vic?”

“Yeah, he walked out and left.”

“Which why did he go?”

“I think towards the car.” Kellin walked out of the garage and saw Vic leaning against the car, down the road. He walked over and once he was close enough, he noticed that Vic was crying.

“H-hey.” Vic quickly wiped his tears and straightened up. “About what you saw, I gue-.”

“Save it. I already knew you liked him so it’s fine. I can always try again with Alex.”

“But it’s not like that.”

“Then what is it like Kellin?” Vic shouted. “It’s been a month of hell from you ignoring me, to you acting like you want me and now this? You can’t play me like I’m so fucking game!”

“But when you did this with Alex it was all ok right? I had to be the little shithead and accept it!” Kellin shouted back.

“So you kissed him just to get back at me for kissing Alex? That’s the stupidest shit I’ve ever heard. What the fuck is going on in your head? Fucking retard, I swear.” Vic was seething in anger as he continued to spit out hurtful words towards Kellin. When he saw Kellin kneeling on the sidewalk crying, he immediately stopped and rushed over to him.

“Is that what you really think of me?” Kellin said as he looked up at Vic. He saw the regret in his eyes but he wanted to hear it.

“No.” Vic said with sigh. “I’m just … when I get mad, I say shit I don’t mean. I never wanted to hurt you like that, knowing what you used to go through. I didn’t like it though. Seeing you kiss him. I got jealous and I have no reason to. I mean, for god sake! I think I’m falling in love with you but then when I think about the way everything was with Alex, I-.” Vic sighed again as he tried to collect his thoughts. “In a sense, I was you. I was insecure about how I was and how I looked like. Alex was always telling me to lose weight because I was fat and I embarrassed him. So I tried. I never turned bulimic or anorexic but I was underweight. My grandfather had died recently so he took advantage of my emotional and mental state. I don’t want to treat you the same way he treated me. But that’s obviously what happening isn’t it? I’m hurting you verbally and I got you knocked up the same why he was, except for, I didn’t get pregnant. I’m a shit head.”

“Why don’t … why we don’t just start fresh.” Kellin said as he wipes the tears that had been released from Vic’s eyes. “Except, I got knocked up by you before meeting.” The same eyes that had cried now crinkled at the edges from Vic’s smile.

“I’d like that.”

“Hi, I’m Kellin.”

“I’m Vic, nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too.” The boys burst out with smiles that looked painful.

“Hey!” Alan shouted from down the street. “There you guys are! Ready to go?”

“Yeah.” Kellin and Vic said at the same time, causing them to laugh a little.

“Are you guys ok?” Alan said, as he got closer. He was staring at them suspiciously only making them laugh again.

“I think so.” Vic replied. “We’re more than ok.” he sent a wink at Kellin who blushed in return before hopping in the car, letting Austin drive them home.