Days Like These

“You’re, you’re you.”

“I am?”

“You’re the lady from that day.” Kellin turned to look at Vic. “That day I showed up unexpectedly.” Vic mouthed oh. “I, um, I’m Kellin?”

“I know.” She replied with a smile. “I’m Rachael.”

“Vic, why don’t we give them some privacy?”

“Uh, can we actually go upstairs? Me and … Rachael, at least?” Kellin asked. He noticed the way her shoulders sagged a bit when he called her by her first name.

“Rach?”

“That’s fine.” Rachael said with a small smile. “Lead the way.” They both walked upstairs and into Kellin’ room, where he sat on the bed and she stood at the doorway, looking around with her eyes. “Do you mind if I look at your things up close?”

“Go ahead.” Kellin said quietly. He stared at her while she looked over some of his pictures and knick-knacks. He had her brown hair, nose, lips, and green-blue eyes. The rest must come from his birth father.

“Who are they?” she asked, looking at a picture.

“Those are my friends. That’s Alan, his boyfriend Austin, Vic’s brother Mike, and their friends Jaime and Tony. I have more but they’re the main ones I hang out with.”

“And I assume they know about?” she said gesturing to his stomach.

“Yes. Mike was the first one to find out then I told everyone else, and then Vic kind of found out by accident. They were all very supportive.”

“I’m glad you’ve found such amazing friends.”

“Me too.”

“So,” Rachel said once she finished looking at his things, “Is there anything you want to know?”

“There’s a lot I wanna know but um, Vic, he said I had other siblings? Is that true?”

“Yes.” She sighed. “You have two older brothers and one younger sister.”

“How come I don’t remember having two older brothers?”

“They got taken by CPS and your grandma, my mother, took them.” She said sadly. “That happened before I got pregnant with you.”

“Why?”

“I used to be a heroine addict.”

“Were you on drugs when you got pregnant with me?”

“Yes. For the first two months. then the social worker who was working my case said that if I could prove to be a reasonable mother while being pregnant with you, then maybe the judge would give me visitation rights with your brothers. So I was sent to rehab where I got better and after a year I was deemed clean.”

“Was there anything wrong with me?”

“Thankfully no and I was lucky enough to finish my treatment and keep you with me at the same time. You were the reason I wanted to get better and to prove  to everyone that I was capable, with the correct resources, of getting better and being a mother.”

“What happened after?”

“I was granted visiting rights and they met you. Oh your brothers were so excited to see you. They loved to help me feed you, changing your diaper, picking out your clothes and all that stuff.”

“Um, how did he get involved in our lives?”

“We met when I had gone to the grocery store with you and we were leaving and my car wouldn’t start so he happened to be leaving the store too and then we just hit off from there.” Then quietly she said, “It was the biggest mistake of my life. He took you from me when I decided to break up with him. He took you from the daycare and oh god, its been the worse twelve years of my life. But now, seeing you here, growing up, I’m happy that you’re ok.”

“I think,” Kellin began, “That as crappy as our situation was, it was a blessing in disguise because then I wouldn’t have met Vic and I wouldn’t have met my friends or Katherine and in the end you.”

“You have such a positive outlook.” Rachael said with a small smile. “And that’s one thing that could never take away from you. My grandchild will be raised by such a wonderful father.”

“Thank you.” Kellin replied with a small smile of his own.

“So any idea on what'll happen with school?”

“I think I have to repeat the eleventh grade again. I’m not really sure though because Katherine said that there’s a program at another school that help pregnant teens but I don’t know if it’ll be useful in my situation.”

“And, um, what if you come back to Michigan and just start fresh?”

“Excuse me?”

“Just hear me out ok. I was thinking, that maybe if you wanted to, you can move back with us and start over?”

“I-I’m sorry but I can’t. I’d like to but now I have a child to think about and I think staying here would be best for him. For us. His other father is here and I want him to grow up with him. Besides, I have friends here too and I don’t want to leave them once I’ve gotten comfortable with them.”

“I mean no offense by this but do you think you’ll last with that boy? He’s young and he wouldn’t want to be tied down.”

“It’s not about whether Vic and I stay together, it’s about our child having both parents in his life.”

“You’re a better parent than I could ever be, Kellin.” She said as her eyes got watery. “If I thought like you did, then we wouldn’t have been in this mess. Katherine always said I put myself first, even before my kids.” She said with a sad smile. “Even now, I want you to come back with me because I think it’d be easier for me to be near you instead of thinking what would benefit you or your child. I’m such a selfish woman and I’m glad you aren’t nearly as selfish as I am. I’m so proud of you.”

“Thank you. When can I meet my siblings?”

“When ever you'd like. Though I'd like to talk to them first; get them used to the idea that they have a sibling and answer their questions like I'm doing with you. You know what, I’ll get back to you on that, actually.” She said with a nervous chuckle.

“Do you have any pictures of me before I was taken?” Kellin asked.

Racheal’s eye lit up and a wide smile graced her slightly aged face. “I do!” she said excitedly. Looking through her purse, she found a small blue scrapbook. “Here it is! Oh you were my cutest baby.” She handed Kellin the little booklet and he opened it, seeing three unfamiliar faces. “That was us, a few days after you were born. Your brothers were so excited to see you.”

“Who took the picture?”

“Your real father.” She said sadly.

“Where is he?” Kellin said as he looked through the pictures. He came across a picture of Rachael, him as a baby and an unfamiliar man. “Is this him?”

“Yeah. Sadly, he died when you were a few months old. It was raining and he lost control of the wheel, crashing into a lamp post and dying on impact.”

“I’m sorry.” Kellin said quietly. “Can you tell me how he was?”

“He was the sweetest.” Rachael said, staring off into the distance. “We were high school sweethearts and the minute we graduated, we eloped. We were so happy but then he found out about the drugs I started doing and he gave me an ultimatum; either I pick him or the drugs and I was selfish enough to pick the drugs. He called CPS on me and my mother took your brothers but then, I couldn’t stay away from him and I guess he couldn’t stay away from me because you were made. And you know the rest. I started getting better and he found out because he talked to my mom and he came to see me at the hospital and we gave it another shot and then he died.”

“Wow.” Kellin whispered. He didn’t know what to say. It was sad but at the same time it was beautiful.

“You look just like him you know. You have his smile and his eyebrows, his beautiful curly hair. It’s like seeing him.”

“I feel like I look more like you.”

“You do look like me but more like your father.”

Then a thought occurred to Kellin. “If my dad died, who’s the father of my younger sister?”

“My husband. I met him a year after you were taken and he knew from the beginning about what happened.”

“Did he come with you guys?”

“No, he’s on a business trip but when I told him about them finding you, he was excited to meet you.” Kellin only smiled softly. “I suppose that’s all you have to ask today?” Kellin nodded. “Then

lets go downstairs and see what happens now.”

She helped Kellin up and when she was one foot out the door, Kellin said, “M-mom, I really missed you.”

Rachael turned around with teary eyes and replied, “I missed you too baby. Can I hug you?” Kellin nodded and she wrapped her slender arms around him, finally crying. “I don’t ever want you to think that I never stopped looking for you ok? I never stopped loving you, I never left you. I’ll always love you Kellin. You’re very special to me. You were the reason I got help. I love you.” She kissed his temple, hugging him just a bit tighter.

“I-I love you too mom.” And Kellin was telling the truth.

After their sentimental moment, they wiped their tears with smiles and headed back downstairs where they continued to talk and get to know each other once again.