Status: will be updated whenever I get inspiration
The Fear of Falling Apart
fifteen
six months later
Balancing Mae on her hip, Robin stood at the front door of her father’s house, waiting for the elder gentleman to hurry down and unlock the oak door. It was weird to think it had been nearly a year since she had moved to France. Mae was a jolly and happy one year old, who attended nursery twice a week while Robin worked as a carer there, continuing to study to teach. It was a simple and nice routine for them both to have.
She hadn’t spoken to Tom or Oli for that matter. She knew they were both well and healthy, due to the regular chats she had with Carol and Ian, who was due to visit in the next few weeks; apparently Tom had moved on from her, leaving Robin with thousands of questions for her ex-fiancée. Carol had told her a few weeks back that he had been seeing a model from their Drop Dead clothing range; Kate her name was. Something like that, Robin didn’t care.
Oli on the other hand, was an apparent wreck. Carol had told stories where she hadn’t seen her son for weeks on end and when she did, he was a mess. He had been working on their newest album, writing for days on end and going without sleep. Luckily, the rest of the Bring Me boys had kept him away from the alcohol, especially after his last episode.
Robin couldn’t help but feel annoyed guilty over the matter. She had wished countless times that Oli would ring her mobile, track her down and confess everything he did at Mae’s birth. She had wished for it, but he hadn’t. She had given up hope on ever getting a full confession out of the tattooed singer, so instead; opted to continue with her own life as she saw fit.
But as she waited, the thought of Oli crept in her mind, she missed him. That much was clear, but for some reason she couldn’t pick up the phone and call him. She felt broken without him, yet they had never been together in the first place, leaving her confused and annoyed even more so. The door was pulled open with a hefty click as Mae continued to eat her teething toy, the toddlers teeth beginning to show was a nightmare for the single mother, so when Carol was staying, it would be a god send.
“There she is!” Peter grinned as Mae stretched her arms out for her granddad, giggling and laughing as she whined for him to pick her up, remove her from her mother’s arms. Cuddling his grandchild as Robin rolled her eyes at Mae’s love for her father. Stepping inside and shutting the door as Peter headed into the lounge, Robin following as she shifted the grey baby bag she still carried around, regardless of her little girl growing up.
“So when are you going back to England?” Peter asked, watching as Robin sat down shrugging her shoulders knowing that she didn’t really want to go back. She missed Summer, the hockey season was coming towards and end and she felt guilty that Summer was alone – although, she had heard her bestfriend had met a new guy, Mikey she believed his name was.
"Not sure, whenever I see fit. I like it here." She lied, she didn't like it in France, but being near her dad was a security feature. He was always on hand, plus he provided free child care when she needed it most.
"Don't lie Robin, I taught you better than that." He laughed, resting Mae on his knee and bouncing her up and down so that the child giggled, her laughter echoing through the house as Robin smiled at the steps her daughter had taken, small milestones. She watched as Mae scrambled off his knee, onto the floor and began to crawl towards the bag which contained her teddy, her blanket and a few other toys that Robin took everywhere with her.
"Okay. I don't like it here much, but I don't know. I might go see Summer for a few days. Get a train or something." She suggested as Peter smiled, nodding.
"I'd be more than happy to watch Mae while you did."
"Really?" Robin looked at her father in disbelief as he nodded, a grin on his face as they both watched Mae, who squealed in delight at finding her teddy bear, a scruffy brown creature called 'ugg' courtesy of Tom.
"Of course I would, she's my granddaughter." He chuckled standing up and heading towards the kitchen, asking if she wanted tea or coffee while Robin watched Mae, who seemed to be amused in her own little world with this bear.
-
If there was one thing Robin hated, it was trains.
She had been stuck on this one for four hours now, a simple train ride that had been delayed, twice. A backpack on her bag as she sat near a couple who seemed to not come up for air often - a sight that repulsed her. Probably because she was lonely.
"The train will be restarting shortly." The voice called as she breathed out a long sigh of relief. The couple finally seemingly coming up for air as she lent back on her chair, A Loss For Words playing through her earphones as she unlocked her phone, seeing there was still no signal and sighing to herself over it. She hated being cut off from the world, almost as much as she hated trains.
If she guessed right, she'd be in London within the next hour, meet Summer at the station and go home, well to Summer's at least. A week, that's all she was gone for. A week away from being a mother and a week spent with her bestfriend. Getting stupidly drunk to forget their problems. As she looked back over at the couple, she noticed they were at it again. They couldn't have been much older than eighteen and she assumed they were travelling from France.
As the train pulled to a stop, she didn't stand, instead, she allowed all the other passengers to get off before her, waiting and watching the several different people from her carriage to leave; the couple, the parents, the elderly, the alone. Her. When she knew the cost was clear, she stepped off, searching for Summer's dark brown hair and hockey jersey as she assumed she'd come from training, as the day was Monday.
Finding Summer, she grinned. heading towards her bestfriend who was indeed in a hockey jersey and sweats; her hair tied up as she wore her glasses. Engulfing her into a large hug as Robin could only laugh.
"Good to see you."
"Likewise."
And without another word, the pair of them headed off to the house that Robin had missed more than anything.
Balancing Mae on her hip, Robin stood at the front door of her father’s house, waiting for the elder gentleman to hurry down and unlock the oak door. It was weird to think it had been nearly a year since she had moved to France. Mae was a jolly and happy one year old, who attended nursery twice a week while Robin worked as a carer there, continuing to study to teach. It was a simple and nice routine for them both to have.
She hadn’t spoken to Tom or Oli for that matter. She knew they were both well and healthy, due to the regular chats she had with Carol and Ian, who was due to visit in the next few weeks; apparently Tom had moved on from her, leaving Robin with thousands of questions for her ex-fiancée. Carol had told her a few weeks back that he had been seeing a model from their Drop Dead clothing range; Kate her name was. Something like that, Robin didn’t care.
Oli on the other hand, was an apparent wreck. Carol had told stories where she hadn’t seen her son for weeks on end and when she did, he was a mess. He had been working on their newest album, writing for days on end and going without sleep. Luckily, the rest of the Bring Me boys had kept him away from the alcohol, especially after his last episode.
Robin couldn’t help but feel annoyed guilty over the matter. She had wished countless times that Oli would ring her mobile, track her down and confess everything he did at Mae’s birth. She had wished for it, but he hadn’t. She had given up hope on ever getting a full confession out of the tattooed singer, so instead; opted to continue with her own life as she saw fit.
But as she waited, the thought of Oli crept in her mind, she missed him. That much was clear, but for some reason she couldn’t pick up the phone and call him. She felt broken without him, yet they had never been together in the first place, leaving her confused and annoyed even more so. The door was pulled open with a hefty click as Mae continued to eat her teething toy, the toddlers teeth beginning to show was a nightmare for the single mother, so when Carol was staying, it would be a god send.
“There she is!” Peter grinned as Mae stretched her arms out for her granddad, giggling and laughing as she whined for him to pick her up, remove her from her mother’s arms. Cuddling his grandchild as Robin rolled her eyes at Mae’s love for her father. Stepping inside and shutting the door as Peter headed into the lounge, Robin following as she shifted the grey baby bag she still carried around, regardless of her little girl growing up.
“So when are you going back to England?” Peter asked, watching as Robin sat down shrugging her shoulders knowing that she didn’t really want to go back. She missed Summer, the hockey season was coming towards and end and she felt guilty that Summer was alone – although, she had heard her bestfriend had met a new guy, Mikey she believed his name was.
"Not sure, whenever I see fit. I like it here." She lied, she didn't like it in France, but being near her dad was a security feature. He was always on hand, plus he provided free child care when she needed it most.
"Don't lie Robin, I taught you better than that." He laughed, resting Mae on his knee and bouncing her up and down so that the child giggled, her laughter echoing through the house as Robin smiled at the steps her daughter had taken, small milestones. She watched as Mae scrambled off his knee, onto the floor and began to crawl towards the bag which contained her teddy, her blanket and a few other toys that Robin took everywhere with her.
"Okay. I don't like it here much, but I don't know. I might go see Summer for a few days. Get a train or something." She suggested as Peter smiled, nodding.
"I'd be more than happy to watch Mae while you did."
"Really?" Robin looked at her father in disbelief as he nodded, a grin on his face as they both watched Mae, who squealed in delight at finding her teddy bear, a scruffy brown creature called 'ugg' courtesy of Tom.
"Of course I would, she's my granddaughter." He chuckled standing up and heading towards the kitchen, asking if she wanted tea or coffee while Robin watched Mae, who seemed to be amused in her own little world with this bear.
-
If there was one thing Robin hated, it was trains.
She had been stuck on this one for four hours now, a simple train ride that had been delayed, twice. A backpack on her bag as she sat near a couple who seemed to not come up for air often - a sight that repulsed her. Probably because she was lonely.
"The train will be restarting shortly." The voice called as she breathed out a long sigh of relief. The couple finally seemingly coming up for air as she lent back on her chair, A Loss For Words playing through her earphones as she unlocked her phone, seeing there was still no signal and sighing to herself over it. She hated being cut off from the world, almost as much as she hated trains.
If she guessed right, she'd be in London within the next hour, meet Summer at the station and go home, well to Summer's at least. A week, that's all she was gone for. A week away from being a mother and a week spent with her bestfriend. Getting stupidly drunk to forget their problems. As she looked back over at the couple, she noticed they were at it again. They couldn't have been much older than eighteen and she assumed they were travelling from France.
As the train pulled to a stop, she didn't stand, instead, she allowed all the other passengers to get off before her, waiting and watching the several different people from her carriage to leave; the couple, the parents, the elderly, the alone. Her. When she knew the cost was clear, she stepped off, searching for Summer's dark brown hair and hockey jersey as she assumed she'd come from training, as the day was Monday.
Finding Summer, she grinned. heading towards her bestfriend who was indeed in a hockey jersey and sweats; her hair tied up as she wore her glasses. Engulfing her into a large hug as Robin could only laugh.
"Good to see you."
"Likewise."
And without another word, the pair of them headed off to the house that Robin had missed more than anything.