Cold as Winter

I run through a winter capped forest. With my muscles pulsing with the exhilaration of exercise after a long day of school I feel unleashed on the world. The world looks blue and white and grey, and the darkness of the night slides through the trees as I race across.

I take a deep warm breath against the cold wind.

The winter is coming, cold and saddening.

Winter would always bring me memories of my parents, of those carefree winter enjoyments my sister and I would be immersed in. Those days before she found her mate, before she became my alpha. Before she became so busy and I took on training our new young wolves. As they went through middle school these youth were always a little rough and tough.

Being from our side of the city, a side that was seemingly immersed in darkness, but really there was just a tight grown forest, it was obvious they all lived near each other. We all stayed in the pack houses. Five years ago my pack members moved closer into the core of the city to run their businesses, go to university and well, get away from the hooliganism that stereotypically came from the pack houses. A few concerned parents even took their younger pups to go to schools that weren't quite familiar with the Winter Woods as they were called.

But since then, things have changed. I've taken charge of the troubled teens. I've gotten these detention attending kids into the honour roll, into sports team, into anything that will keep them away from trouble. That's why, when Sara took charge of the pack, I took over training our wolves. Our family. I pulled each one, slowly towards training.

I focused their minds on punching, running, jumping and technique, but I kept my voice on teaching, reminding, pouring into their ears the legacy my parents wanted to have. Truth. Honesty. Dedication. Morality. With all our extra energies that came from being a wolf expended in extracurriculars I got them to become friends, with each other, and eventually even me. The atmosphere of our pack has changed, even become magnetic as a few of our pack members moved back in to be among us. Even Richard came back with his wife and Selene, his daughter, who just started grade eight.

Selene's quiet but aggressive nature made her my trouble case, and over time as we worked through long training and even ran patrol together, she began to open up. She told me she wanted to be a teacher.

Now she is my star pupil. I always think, that if I ever left, she would easily take my place and I think I would be okay with it. Everyone would be okay with it. Her bright smile, that mischievous glint in her eye, and the way she never gave up hope in anyone, not even in me.

Even when I confided in her in leaving, in going on my own adventure. Maybe switching high schools to be close to a nice college, Selene never wavered. She threw me that grin and her eyes lit up and her simple confidence put me at ease.

"Go for it."

Oh God, I just wish they'll be okay when I'm gone.

I've been packing, trying to keep in on the down low. I just don't want Sara to feel abandoned.

I leap over a fallen tree. The tree that I have made part of my training circuit for the youth, for my friends. I hope they'll be okay. I know it's more than I can hope for, but with a better environment than when I was trying to change things up in middle school myself, I can only hope.

I really hope I don't miss them too much.

Maybe winter's long nights are a spring in disguise, where long beautiful prayers can be made and still a restful sleep can be had. While the world is asleep I can be awake in peace. The darkness slowly lifting. I am no longer feeling unwelcome to my future.