Circumstances

For the next few days I had to concentrate more on school, Rixon was horrified by everything I told him but relieved it was all ok now.
"So is what the Thai dude said true? About Cam?" I went a bit shy and Rixon raised his eyebrows.
"Oli!! Come on man, I'm your best friend just tell me already!"

"Fine! It might be...no, no it can't be. He might find me a bit attractive but that's the extent of it I'm sure." He shook his head as he sipped at his milkshake. "Bull."

"How would you know?!"

"I wanna meet him." I froze.

"No. No...NO." Rixon offered me am expression that called for an explanation and I felt myself stuttering for one.

"Just no. He's not...normal ok?"

"I gathered that from your explanations of him, and by the fact that he turned you." He winked and I rolled my eyes.

"Anyway. Fine. Don't let me meet him, but I will find out stuff about him, mark my words." I sighed but laughed as he bid me goodbye and headed to his next class. Me, I had a free afternoon. I made my way home and there was a parcel on my doorstep. It read: - don't lose this one - I opened it up to see a new phone with Cam's number already entered into it. I rang his number as I ditched my school stuff in the corner of my room.

"Oli?"

""Hi. Nice phone. Thank you."

"You're welcome." "Did Wilson track the phone?"

"Yeah we recovered it. Some kid had picked it up thinking it was a toy. Anyway, are you free?"

"Yeah how come?"

"If you're in the mood, the case is still wide open, but if not that's fine." I told him I'd be there in ten and hung up, turning to leave. As I did so, his t-shirt caught my eye. I picked it up but pushed it back under my pillow, I didn't have the heart to lose it just yet, besides, the smell of it, his smell, helped me sleep for some reason.

I had a quick wash and re-spray of deodorant before leaving. He opened the door with a weary smile, I greeted him but didn't like what I saw. He didn't look half as good as he'd sounded over the phone and I was worried. He started talking about the case but my focus was on him. He had huge bags under his eyes, his hair was messed up, he was wearing clothes that didn't look fresh today, he smelt of alcohol with his smell underneath it.

"Cam?" I got his attention, "are you alright?" He nodded.

"Of course. I've been working all night is all." I knew his working all night face, and this was not it. This was been awake for days on end kind of look.

"You look like you've been up for days."

"Haven't been sleeping. Look, it doesn't matter Oli."

"It does to me." He looked at me then away, leaning on his desk heavily. "What's going on?"

"Nothing, please let's just carry on." He refused to tell me so I just helped him with the case, thinking that at least if I did something it'd be less for him to think about. He was on the phone a lot again, several times sounded purely business, but then he was talking to someone called Alice, and he sounded very affectionate. I knew I was being completely ridiculous, I had no right to be jealous, even if she was his girlfriend, or more. However he was talking in a very quiet tone, obviously not wanting me to hear, and when be hung up I swore I heard him say 'love you too.' He walked over to see how I was doing.

"You ok?" I asked before he could say anything. It came out a bit snappy and I winced slightly.

"Fine. What are you doing with-"

"Will you just tell me what's happening?! I mean...we work together almost every day in your apartment, you've saved my life, you've told me things about your life before all this, you know pretty much everything about me. Whatever's bothering you can't-"

"I don't want to talk about it." I didn't even bothering sighing and just carried on typing away furiously.

"I need to go out for a few hours. I'll be back soon, if you have to go do something like pick up the twins or whatever, it's fine just lock up please." I just nodded and he left quickly. I looked out the window and saw his car drive off. I don't know why I did it, or why I wanted to, but I stood up to start snooping around. I wanted to find out who this Alice was, and what was wrong with him. I got halfway across the apartment and stopped myself, returning to the desk. If Cam wouldn't tell me, then I'd just keep our relationship purely professional, not that it wasn't at the moment. But any funny business on Cam's part would be totally unwelcome now. I made a breakthrough in the case, discovering two possible leaders in the organisation. I emailed their details over to Cannon who was absolutely ecstatic.

I realised that I was fifteen minutes late to pick up the girls and rushed out, locking the door with the key Cam had left me. I ran all the way to the school and went into the office. I wasn't late regularly, but it didn't look good to the school, and I hated drawing attention to us. The snooty receptionist glared at me and I went over to the girls who both ran up to me to hug me the second they saw me.

"Oli!!"

"Hey...sorry I'm late. Maybe I'll have to get you a treat to make up for it?" Their little faces lit up and I realised how much I'd missed them recently. I'd been so focused on the case and Cam that I'd forgotten about my family. My mind vaguely travelled back to that dead little girl, her dad had obviously done that too. I would not be the cause of my family's deaths, or any kind of pain.

I took the girls out for ice cream before taking them home. I looked at my watch and realised I had my shift at the bar coming up soon. I left them with my neighbour again and headed out for my shift. As I neared the club, I could swear I saw one of Cam's drivers run out of a passageway. He saw me and waved.

"Wait!! Mr Sykes!!" I made it clear that I wasn't rushing off and he practically sprinted over. "M-Mr Sykes. Have you seen him?"

"No. Why? What's wrong?"

"He...goddammit I shouldn't be telling you this...fuck it. He made me and Barry take him to a bar near here, he's in a bad way Sir, a real bad way just now, he called us to pick him up, drunk out of his skull he was. Anyway, so we got here, and he's gone. I don't know where he is." I sighed heavily.

"I'll help you find him." The driver's face lit up.

"Are you sure Sir?"

"Yeah. Just call me Oli ok?" He nodded and I told him to meet me back there in thirty minutes after checking every area of every single bar and club in the area. I felt myself starting to panic as I came up with nothing time after time, and I wondered if this was how Cam felt when he was looking for me. Probably not. I started asking people if they'd seen him, no one had. So once I met up with his other driver, Steve, again, I made him show me where the first bar Cam had been in was. We walked straight up to the bartender and I asked him if he'd seen Cam.

"Oh yeah, yeah. Real butch guy, attractive, yeah he was in here a couple of hours ago...drinking like a goddamn fish he was." I nodded.

"Did he speak to anyone? Say anything about where he was going next?" The bartender thought for a moment but shook his head as he made someone another drink.

"Nah don't think so. He spoke to one girl, but she was hitting on him, and let me tell you, he was not interested, said something about already having someone special. But he worded it funny, I can't remember. But he definitely didn't say where he was going to next." Me and Steve left, splitting up again to search the area. I called Cam's phone as I headed down towards the docks, wondering if he might've gone down there. It went straight to voicemail and my frustration and panic was starting to peak.

"Cam! Me and Steve are looking everywhere for you...please call me when you get this I'm fucking scared ok?" I hung up and started jogging as I checked a few more alleyways before heading down the dock. I checked every single branched-off section, praying to see him even passed out in a pool of his own vomit. I just wanted to find him alive.

"Cam?!" I shouted, praying that I'd hear something in reply. A call, a shout...even a groan would've sufficed. But nothing. I felt close to breaking point as I neared the end sections of the dock, I turned the last corner, feeling sick to my stomach and Cam was sat there, legs in the water, bottle by his side, sobbing. Really, really crying, big tears fell onto his lap and ran down his face. I felt tears welling up in my own eyes, the relief of finding him mixed with the heartbreak of seeing such a strong character, like this, overwhelming me.

"Cam?" I croaked, he turned and burst into a fresh load of tears. I quickly knelt down next to him and hugged him tightly. He clasped onto me like a child and sobbed into my chest. I kicked the bottle of whiskey into the water, I just didn't want it to be near him anymore. I called Steve, who cursed angrily, then got upset, then thanked me profusely before saying he'd bring the car down. I managed to get Cam to his feet after about fifteen minutes of cradling him to my chest and trying to offer any small comfort that I could without knowing what was wrong with him. He staggered and stumbled, I did my best to keep him upright and we got up to the car. Steve helped me get him up to the elevator in his building before leaving. Cam settled on the couch and I made us both coffees. He was a mess, tears had long since stopped trickling down his face, although the stains were still there. Now, he just sat there, staring into space.

"Cam...Cam. Here." He came to the surface just enough to accept the drink, then he went back into his own little world. I stayed with him, I tried to talk to him, make him drink, or eat. I lied across his lap, looking up at him to try and get him to just wake up, but he wouldn't. At some point I fell asleep, and in the morning when I woke, Cam was asleep too. I moved off him slowly, terrified of waking him, and covered him over with a blanket before creeping out of the big apartment. When I got home, my mum enveloped me in a hug.

"Oli! Thank god!! Where have you been?"

"Shift overran." She sighed and rubbed her eyes, I couldn't help but notice how wrinkled her hands were, and how tired she looked.

"You can't keep working like this...you'll make yourself sick."

"Mum don't worry - I have the morning off at the shop so I can sleep for a few hours. Don't worry yourself or else YOU'LL get sick." She smiled weakly and I kissed her hands, giving her a hug.

"I miss you Oli...it feels like you're slipping away from me."

"I'm not. That's never going to happen. One day we'll be rich and we'll live in a big house and neither of us will have to work." She chuckled sadly.

"Oh if only..." I thought about telling her part of the truth and sat her down.

"Don't freak out ok?" She agreed.

"A few years ago I entered into an FBI challenge which involved code cracking. I was one of the top people in the world, but I was too young then to accept the job. I couldn't handle that kind of responsibility. Now though...I was...head hunted by some FBI agents and they asked me to help them crack some codes on a case they're working on. That's why I've been a bit secretive lately, I've had that to do as well." Mum beamed happily and gave me a big hug.

"Oh you angel!! Sweetheart I'm so proud of you!!" She went on for a few minutes about how this could be my break, some way or another before leaving for work. I sighed, I just hoped she didn't worry, and that I did lift a weight off her shoulders, not add more to them. My phone made me jump when it rang - it was Cam.

"Can you come over please?"