Dreaming of Christmas with You

“Trouble in paradise?”

I turned toward Ford, John’s girlfriend, and gave her a quizzical look. Ford had been going out with John for 2 ½ years and we were extremely close, although it hadn’t always been that way. I hated her when she and John first started dating. I was fiercely protective of my cousin and had seen him get hurt way too many times by fame thirsty whores. I didn’t trust any girl he went out with and tried to scare them away, including Ford. Eventually, after John forced me to go out to lunch with Ford and get to know her better because he really liked her, I came around and saw that Ford didn’t care that John was the lead singer of The Maine, she liked him for him. More importantly, she put up with him which continued to blow my mind to this day. Why anyone would put up with John O’Callaghan if they didn’t have to was beyond me.

“What do you mean?” I asked as I finally acknowledged Ford’s question. I knew perfectly well what she meant but was going to play stupid because I didn’t feel like talking about it.

“Your boyfriend is leaving for tour tomorrow and you’re over here hanging out with me instead of him. I practically won’t leave John’s side the night before he leaves for tour.”

I shrugged. “It’s their going-away party. I don’t want to get in the way of him hanging out with his friends.”

“Please,” Ford rolled her eyes. “These going-away parties that the boys always throw before tours are just an excuse for everyone to get together and drink. As if they need an excuse to do that.”

“Things have just been weird between Joel and me lately I guess.”

“Like you guys are fighting a lot?”

“No,” I shook my head. “I guess Joel doesn’t even know I’m feeling this way.

“Sometimes I don’t know what is going on in that pretty little head of yours,” Ford mused.

“I just feel like I’m in a funk. I’m stressed out over the bakery – I mean we’re doing well, but we’re still less than a year old and the first year is vital for small businesses – and I’m starting to feel as if mine and Joel’s relationship is going nowhere. We’re practically in the same place as we were five years ago when we started dating.”

“You’re frustrated that Ben is getting married and you’re not even engaged yet to Joel?” Ford questioned, although I knew she meant it more as a statement. Ford had been filled in on how Joel’s and my relationship began so she knew all about Ben and the role he played in my life.

“Lily told you about me getting the invitation?”

“Mhm,” Ford said as she took a sip of her beer. “Where is Lily anyway? I thought she was coming tonight.”

“Oh, she’s here. I’m sure she’s getting mauled by Gibbs right now though. He took one look at her in her short little shorts and crop top when she came in tonight and drug her off to one of the bedrooms.”

“When are they finally going to admit they like each other and stop being fuck buddies?”

“They both swear they only want to be friends with benefits and nothing more.”

“So that’s why Gibbs punched the last guy she brought to a party and Lily went home crying that night Austin was flirting with the trashy blond at the bar?” Ford raised an eyebrow.

“I refuse to get into their personal lives anymore. Each time I talk to either one of them about it I get my head bit off. It’s your turn.”

“I value my life. Thanks though,” Ford quickly said.

Ford and I sat in silence for a while watching the antics of everyone else in the room. The party was taking place at Tim Kirch’s house and the rooms were filled with people from 8123, their girlfriends, and other friends they knew from high school or just from around Phoenix.

“So, John and I are moving in together. I know this probably isn’t what you want to hear right now, but I wanted you to hear it from me instead of from someone else,” Ford hesitantly said.

I started choking on my water and instantly wished I had something stronger in my cup. I had offered to be DD that night though.

“That’s great,” I managed to get out once my coughing was under control.

“I’m pretty excited. I was a little hesitant when John first suggested it, but I feel like it’s time for us to take that next step in our relationship.”

“Yeah, it probably is. I mean you guys have been going out for half as long as Joel and I, but your relationship is moving more quickly than ours,” I muttered. I truly was happy for my cousin and Ford, and I didn’t want to sound bitter, but deep down I was.

“Sorry, I guess that was the wrong thing to say,” Ford apologized.

“Don’t apologize. I really am happy for you guys. Have you told Aunt Jenny and Uncle Jay or your parents yet?”

“Not yet. We just made the decision last week so we’re going to talk to our parents soon.”

“Hey guys. Sorry I’m late, did I miss anything?” Lily asked and Ford and I both rolled our eyes at Lily acting like she was running late instead of in a back bedroom with Austin.

“Well you didn’t miss much, but no one will be able to miss that giant hickey on your neck. Gibbs really went to work,” Ford smirked.

“Damn it Austin,” Lily exclaimed as she tried to cover the spot on her neck with her hand. She then looked up and nodded over to where Joel was sitting with some of the other guys. “Speaking of things unwanted…”

I followed Lily’s gaze and saw Rowan Wilkins had arrived and happened to be sitting right next to my boyfriend as she talked and laughed with him. I shouldn’t have been surprised to see Rowan at the party because she was a usual guest much to my chagrin. Rowan was a very pretty girl and somehow managed to pull off her crazy colored hair that started out as a cotton candy pink and then ombre’d down into a light violet and then a lilac. She was also extremely sweet and we probably would have been friends if it wasn’t for the fact that she was hopelessly in love with my boyfriend. She and Joel had gone to high school together and had been friends, but she’d always wanted something more. Her crush on Joel hadn’t lessened over the years, in fact it’d probably gotten worse thanks to her occasionally taking pictures for 8123.

“Okay, I think it’s time to go,” I grumbled as I watched Rowan and Joel hug. Lily and Ford laughed and nodded, knowing my feelings towards the pink-haired girl.

I set my drink down and made my way over to where Joel was when John, who was heading towards the kitchen to get another drink, stopped me.

“Vera, be nice,” John warned as he grabbed my arm to stop me.

“I’m always nice, John Cornelius,” I argued but John knew me better than that.

John and I were extremely close – more like brother and sister than cousins. My dad was John’s dad’s younger brother. They were both very close and decided to only live twenty minutes away from each other which meant we had family dinners and get-togethers weekly. Usually the family gatherings just consisted of watching ASU games since both of our dads were proud alums. I think it secretly broke my dad’s heart that I didn’t go there. Uncle Jay was upset that John dropped out but he’s been fine since Ross decided to attend ASU and actually graduated.

I was an only child and the only girl on the O’Callaghan side of the family – my dad’s younger sister had two sons. I would get very bored being an only child so I spent most of my time either with John at his house or him at my house. Thanks to growing up surrounded by boys, I became a bit of a tomboy, but had fallen in love with clothes, shoes, glitter and other girly things as I grew older. I still had a tomboy side that came out though, especially when a sports game was on.

“So you’re telling me that you, Ford, and Lily weren’t just over there talking shit about the fact that Rowan is talking to your boyfriend?” John asked and smirked as I didn’t answer. “That’s what I thought, Vera Kathleen.”

“Well look at her,” I exclaimed. “She’s all over him.”

“Be nice. Joel loves you, not her,” John said before making his way into his original destination of the kitchen.

I rolled my eyes at my cousin but knew he was right. Joel wouldn’t be very happy with my if I made a rude comment to Rowan. He was friends with her and believed in being nice to everyone. I usually believed in being nice to everyone too, but drew the line at people who were openly flirting with my boyfriend.

“Hey babe,” I said as I sat on the arm of the couch next to Joel and kissed his cheek. “Hi Rowan, how are you?”

“Hi Vera. I’m good. Joel and I were just talking about how I’m going on the tour with them to take pictures,” Rowan smiled at me. It wasn’t a malicious smile at all – it was genuine excitement over getting to photograph her first tour. I once again felt the feelings of dislike come over me because she was so nice and sweet.

I could feel Joel looking at me so I forced a smile. “That’s great, Ro. What an awesome opportunity.”

“I was so excited when Tim called me and asked if I could. I guess Dirk is busy doing things at in Cali so they asked me since I’ve taken pictures for 8123 before. The guys all agreed that they would rather have me than some stranger, so they told Tim to ask me.”

“Well you’ll have to keep an eye on this one for me and make sure he stays out of trouble,” I joked as I motioned towards Joel.

Rowan laughed. “Of course. I don’t think you have anything to worry about with this one. You’re really lucky, Vera.”

“Yeah, I am,” I said as I forced another smile before turning to Joel. “It’s getting kind of late. Are you ready to go?”

“Yep, just let me say bye to everyone. Bye Rowan. See you tomorrow.”
Joel stood up and I followed him. We made our way around the room telling everyone bye before getting into my car.

“So, are you going to stay at my place tonight so we can say goodbye in the morning?” Joel asked. I stayed at his place the night before every tour he left for; it was sort of a tradition for us. Even though I was frustrated with him I knew I would regret it later if I blew him off tonight.

“Sure,” I mumbled.

“Vee,” Joel sighed. “Please don’t be mad.”

“Wouldn’t you be mad if you found out that I hired some guy who has a huge crush on me at the bakery?”

“Rowan doesn’t have a crush on me,” Joel rolled his eyes. “Sure, she did back in high school, but not anymore. That was years ago.”

I snorted. “You’re blind if you think she no longer has a crush on you. And don’t even bother arguing with me – I’m a girl, I know these things.”

“Fine.” Joel held up his hands in the surrender position. “I just didn’t think it would be this big of a deal.”

“Then why didn’t you tell me?” I snapped.

“Because it just happened yesterday,” Joel groaned in frustration. “Dirk thought he could make it work but he couldn’t so we told Tim to ask Rowan because she knows us and knows what she’s doing.”

“Whatever,” I said.

We finished the drive to his house in an annoyed silence. The silence continued as I pulled into the driveway and we made our way into his apartment.

I went straight to the drawer in Joel’s room that held some of my stuff and grabbed shorts and tank top to change into for bed. I changed and got into Joel’s bed all without saying a single word to him.
Joel changed into his pajamas, turned off the light, and crawled into bed next to me. We were silent for a few minutes until Joel sighed.

“I’m sorry,” Joel softly said.

I rolled onto my side to face Joel and saw that he was already on his side facing me. “What?”

“I’m sorry,” Joel said again as he pulled me closer and began rubbing the tattoo on my hip.

A few years ago John and I decided we wanted to get tattoos to honor our family. We decided on getting a V on our hips. His was to signify the Roman Numeral 5 since he’s the fifth John O’Callaghan in our family and mine was to represent our Grandma Vera who I was named after. At first Joel found it a little weird that I had the same tattoo as one of his best friends – even though John and I were cousins – but he got used to it and now did this thing where he’d rub it with his thumb. He didn’t even have to look for it; he just automatically knew where it was. It always calmed me down and reminded me where I belonged when he did that. It was just one of the little quirks we did in our relationship that I loved.

“I shouldn’t have overreacted like I did,” I said.

“No, I should have told you. I would be upset if you did something like this. I guess I’ve just been so wrapped up in getting ready for this tour that I forgot to tell you. That’s no excuse though.”

“It’s fine. You know I get more emotional when tour comes around. I just hate when you’re not around. I hate missing you,” I whispered as I willed myself not to cry.

“Please don’t cry, Vee,” Joel said as he wiped my tears. “You know, you’re pretty sexy when you’re jealous,” Joel said, knowing it would make me laugh.

“Shut up,” I giggled. “I wasn’t jealous.”

“I beg to differ, my dear. You were definitely jealous,” Joel said as he began tickling me.

“Joel, stop!” I gasped out between laughs.

“Not until you admit that you were jealous.”

“Fine. Fine! I was jealous,” I said and Joel immediately stopped ticking me. “Happy?”

“When I’m with you? Always,” Joel said as he pulled me in for a kiss.

Joel finally pulled away and rested his forehead against mine. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

I still hated that Rowan was going to spend more time with my boyfriend than I was these next weeks, but at least, for now, we were good.