The Sky Under the Sea

“Shhh! Don’t wake them. It’s too cute.” Said a female.


Voices disturbed my peaceful sleep as I woke up to sunlight blinding my eyes.


“We need to. We have to pack.” Came a mans voice. It took me a moment to realize that it was Tony.


“I have to take a photo of this. Hime Time with his cuddle buddy.” Vic sniggered.


Great.


I groaned, rather loudly to let them know I was awake. Yawning, I finally opened my eyes and saw the three of them staring at me, Vic’s arms wrapped around Chloe. Smirking, I couldn’t help but point out their late night, or should I say, early morning activities.


“You two have a good fuck last night? Oh wait, of course you did because I had to listen to it.”


They did nothing but stare at me as their faces turned matching shades of crimson.


“Good morning to you, Jaime.” Tony said, laughing. I let out a small chuckle and stretched out.


“There’s breakfast ready when you want it, in the kitchen.” He added, exiting the room with Chloe and Vic in tow .
Bo was still breathing next to me steadily, fast asleep. The time was 7am, and we didn’t need to leave until 8. She could sleep a little longer. Her hands were still wound up in my shirt even though I was lying on my back. As gently as I could, I untangled her fingers and lay them down on the floor. I made sure to pull the blanket back up over her before tip toeing out of the room, following my nose that told me they’d made pancakes for breakfast.


“Morning.” Mike greeted me as I walked in, a plate full of pancakes already in front of him.


“Jeremy made pancakes. Help yourself.” He mumbled through a full mouth. Clearly Mike’s lack of social skills extends to eating, too.
 Ten minutes later I satisfactorily leaned back in my chair, a tummy full of pancakes.


“Where’s Bo?” Sam asked from the other side of the table.


“Asleep in Mike’s room. She had another nightmare and slept with me on the floor.” I simply said, running a hand through my hair. 
Sam raised an eyebrow but didn’t say anything.


“Speak of the devil.” Chloe joked from next to me, footsteps echoing down the hallway. I turned and there stood Bo in her pajama pants and a hoodie. 
A grunt was her reply as she sleepily rubbed her eyes.
 Standing up, I grabbed everyones empty plates and started over towards the sink.


“Why is it so hot in here? I’m roasting.” Bo mumbled through a yawn, tugging her hoodie off.


“It’s not that- WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?” I dropped the plates I was holding and they crashed to the floor, shattering into hundreds of pieces. 
Bo had purple bruises wrapping around the entire front of her throat. They were dark and covered the entire thing.

How hadn’t I seen this before?
 ...her hoodie must have covered it up. Any wonder she slept in it.


In the silence that followed, all I could hear was my blood rushing through my ears.


What the hell happened?



[Bo]



It was so hot in here, I was starting to overheat.


“Why is it so hot in here? I’m roasting.” Without another thought, I tugged off my hoodie and threw it in the direction of my bag.


“It’s not that- WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?” Jaime shouted, dropping the plates he was holding to the floor.


Oh fuck. The bruises.


“Uh..” I rubbed a hand through my hair as I stared at my feet. There’s no way I could explain it without telling them everything, but I knew that Jaime definitely wouldn’t leave it alone. The kitchen was dead quiet, all eyes trained on me.


“It’s nothing.” My eyes never left the floor and soon I felt someone standing in front of me.


“That’s not nothing and you know it. What happened?” Jaime lifted my chin with his finger and stared straight into my eyes, a stern tone in his voice. I looked away, knowing that what I was about to say could very well push him away for good. And things were going so well, too.


“Sit. All of you.” I sighed, making my choice.
They deserved to know who they were going on tour with.


“I’m going to tell you all something, and I don’t want to be interrupted until I’m done because I’ll only ever say this once. I need to tell you the truth. All of it.” 


Here goes nothing.

I took a deep breath.


“All of it?” Chloe started with a worried look on her face. I nodded.


Goodbye Jaime.



“You might know some of this, you might not but yeah. This won’t make much sense unless I start from the very beginning. All that I ask is you remember that I’m not that person anymore, and don’t hate me for it.”

Everyone’s faces were mirrored looks of confusion and concern. They’d all sat down, but I stayed standing.



“When I was 17, both of my parents died in a car crash. I came home from school one day and there were police officers at the door to bring us the news. It hit us really hard because it was so sudden, so unexpected.”
 I hadn’t told anyone about any of this except for Oscar and Chloe, and that’s only because they were involved.

“They left me and my two brothers behind, having to take care of ourselves because we had no other family. Oscar, my older brother, had to start to work full time to support the three of us and it wasn’t easy. Losing my parents at that age really messed me up, and I went off the rails. I dropped out of school and started drinking, getting into fights, and I started using. I knew my brothers were worried about me and so was Chloe, but I didn’t know what else to do.”


If Jaime didn’t hate me by now I’d be amazed.
 I squeezed my eyes shut, not wanting to see the looks of disgust on everyone’s faces.


“Chloe tried her best to get me back on track. The few days when I had my head screwed on straight she would take me to her house and make me play on her drum kit. She wanted me to get into something that wasn’t going to get me killed. Blake took me to see the local bands whenever they played, trying to do the same thing. This went on for a year, and nothing really changed.”


My heart was thumping and tears threatened to spill from behind my eyes. Talking about Blake was so hard, and that’s why I never did it.


“After I was 18, Blake took me to one of your shows. I’m not kidding when I said it changed my life. After seeing the passion you guys put into playing, I knew I had to change. I’d been alright at drums, but honestly Jaime watching you play made me have no doubts about which instrument I wanted to play. That night Blake promised me that he’d buy me my first bass if I got cleaned up.”


The tears were flowing freely now, and I couldn’t stop them. Instead of looking at everyone, I stared at the wall in front of me. My voice shook as I went on.


“So I did. It wasn’t easy, but Blake and Oscar really helped me. Every night, Blake would sit and listen to me play. He loved to listen, even when I was just starting out. He told me that when I get famous, just remember that heart means everything. That’s where my tattoo came from. One day, my.. my.. fuck it. My dealer came round asking why I hadn’t been to him in weeks. Blake told him that I was clean and to get the fuck out and not come back. Aaron was furious and came back that night with a couple of his friends. Oscar was out at his second job, so it was only me and him. They dragged us out into the street and started beating the both of us. One of Aaron's friends held me back while he kept kicking Blake. Over and over. I screamed for help but no one came.”


The flashbacks of that night tore through my mind, causing me to sob harder. I sank into the nearest chair and pulled my knees up to my chest.


“I couldn’t do anything. Aaron wouldn’t stop, even when Blake stopped moving. He.. they made me watch my brother die! The only reason I’m alive today is because of him, and I saw him die. I stood there and watched the life drain out of him and knew that I couldn’t do anything to save him. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t hate myself for not doing something to stop that happening. Once Blake was well and truly done, they left. They left me lying next to my brother’s lifeless body in the middle of the fucking street! Oscar came home and found us and it tore him apart. Why couldn’t he have just killed me too? He called the police and basically Aaron and his mate went to jail. Oscar took me to get stitched up and after that things went downhill. I didn’t leave my room for weeks on end, I didn’t speak for days. All I did was cry and then pass out from lack of sleep. That’s when the nightmares started, and that’s what they’re about. They’re always flashbacks of watching Blake get beaten to death while I do nothing. It took me months to bring myself to pick up my bass and start playing again, but when I did it was for him. I wrote everything I felt and thought, and that’s when we came together and started the band. Chloe knew Jeremy and Sam because they lived in the same apartment block and suggested we all jam one day and we hit it off. Thats when Josh happened but I’m not explaining that now.”


My chest was heaving and my face was soaked as I wrapped my arms around my legs and stared into the table top. It was still silent as the grave. No one moved, no one said anything.
 I decided to continue. 


“Oscar called me the night of the Warped party and said that Aaron was out of jail. He didn’t know how or why, but he was. So I went to the guitar store a few days ago to get some new picks for the tour and on the way back he shoved me against the wall and tried to choke me. He said he wants me dead. I understand if you want me to leave, but at least now you know everything. I’m not that person anymore, but I’ll understand why if you don’t want something with as much baggage as I do hanging around. Just be honest. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you all before I just didn’t want you to hate me.”


Dizziness took hold and I buried my head into my knees.
 I was hoping like hell that they wouldn’t hate me. Sure I’d wanted to tell them before now, but when is the right time to drop that on people you’ve just met? It’s not something I willingly talk about anyway. Nearly six years Blake has been gone, and it hasn’t gotten any easier.
 Someone surprised me by wrapping their arms around my shoulders.


“We could never hate you, Bo. We love you.” Jaime said softly. Still, I couldn’t bring myself to look at him.


“None of this is your fault, and I can’t believe you have the strength to be that honest with us all.”
I couldn’t help it.


“It is my fault! If I hadn’t have fucked up and started using in the first place, Blake would still be here. Of course it’s all my fault!” My voice hitched as I said my brother’s name. Shoving the chair out from under me I started running towards the front door.


“Bo wait!” Someone yelled. I wasn’t about to stop though.
 My legs carried my out of the house and down the drive. I turned left up the street, not caring where I went. I needed to get out and away from everything that reminded me of what I’d lost.


Ten minutes later, I slowed my pace. My lungs burned as I sucked in air in giant breaths, sides heaving.


You’ve outdone yourself this time Bo. Pushing away six people at once, nice job.


I collapsed in a heap on the sidewalk, vaguely aware that I was still in my pajamas and shoeless. So here I was, bawling my eyes out in the middle of a San Diego suburb with no way of figuring out how to get back to the house.