Drowning

Christmas didn’t give Hannah enough time to think about her feelings towards Niall, so that meant New Year’s Eve was definitely not enough time either. They saw each other almost every day since Christmas and acted completely normal, but her thought about kissing him bothered Hannah so much that it going to stress her out.

They hadn’t even known each other for two months yet, and Hannah processed how much he knew about her in that short time span. He had seen her panic attack, her tempers, and her family at a faster rate than any other couple in the country. She should be more cautious around him or even cut all ties considering how close he was getting. The fact that she kept running back to him was not even something she could figure out for herself.

She had been around nice boys, plenty of them, in her lifetime. Some turned out to be nice. Others kept the act up until they got her right where they wanted her. And unfortunately, Hannah had to pick one of those men that has permanently scarred her for life.

Ever since Corey had visited the family for the first time in eight years, Hannah had begun to experience nightmares about the past whether they were dreams at night or hallucinations during the day. She sometimes felt she could see Bradley out of the corner of her eye, but it was only a shadow. Marisa could be unlocking the front door, and Hannah had to pretend to see her best friend like she wasn’t just imagining it was her ex-boyfriend. She had cried about these instances numerous times, failing to tell Marisa, Niall, or even her mother because she didn’t want them to worry.

The worst nightmares were the ones that flashbacked to the good memories. Those made her heart swell up with pride and was more than happy to call him hers. The first five months were heaven that she never thought she would experience hell.


“I’m sorry I was such a dick all that time.”
Hannah’s arms were linked around Bradley’s left one as the two walked casually throughout the town. His eyes were focused on the sidewalk in front of them. She glanced up at him, getting a perfect view of his jawline and his left hazel eye that was a piercing green that day.
“I was a little kid.” The blonde laughed it off. “No high school boy wants a twelve-year old girl to hang around with, especially not my brother.”
“I could have easily been nicer to you if I gave myself the chance.” He said. “We all act cooler when we’re around our friends.”
“Well, I guess we were at the right place at the right time four years later.”
Bradley had a small smirk on his mouth when he bent down to kiss Hannah on the cheek. The way he showed his affection for her made Hannah cling onto his arm tighter. Only one month into their relationship, and she claimed she never felt safer and more loved. He was her first boyfriend, so there wasn’t much else she could compare him to.
When he was willing to meet her friends not much later, it was probably one of the best moments in their relationship. Hannah’s girlfriends were very nosey about Bradley, and she was glad he behaved around them. He laughed at their inquiries, offered to pay for their drinks, and even started some of the conversation. He later told Hannah that this wasn’t going to be an everyday thing, but he was pleased to meet the friends his girlfriend hung around with. Not to mention, a friend snapped a photo of them two on the other side of the table, his arm slung around her neck while she was going to playfully kiss him on the cheek. It was the one picture she could never burn.


Hannah pondered at the idea that maybe Niall was lucky to stick around because he was famous as much as she hated to admit it. It was nice knowing there wasn’t much of a surprise to his personality, most of it was shown through the media. Sure, there were some things that the camera didn’t explain, but it wasn’t that hard to figure out anyways. Niall lived for three things: his guitar, his fans, and his sleep. Two months wasn’t a lot of time to know someone, but maybe for once, the world was finally giving Hannah a chance to live. And she was planning on taking advantage of that.

“Where are you going?” Hannah eyed the navy blue cocktail dress her best friend was wearing. It was quarter sleeved and tightly went down to her mid thighs. The color complimented her hair color and made her brown eyes stand out even more.

Marisa smoothed out the sleeves and picked off the lint found on the dress. “Connor is taking me out to dinner.” The brunette ogled her friend sitting on the sofa lounging in grey sweatpants, and a black sweatshirt. Her black rimmed glasses were perched on her nose and hair up in a bun. It was clear she wasn’t going anywhere tonight, and Marisa felt bad. “Will you be okay on your own?”

Hannah thought long and hard about the question. Truly in her heart, she wanted Marisa to selflessly cancel the date and save it for another weekend. Already meeting Connor for the third time since he and Marisa had been going on dates, he appeared to be a decent man, capable of treating her best friend right. He looked to be an understanding man, finding it no trouble to reschedule their dinner for another night. And if Hannah told her how she felt, she knew Marisa would do it in a heartbeat.

On the other hand, Marisa deserved to be happy. She’s spent majority of her time taking care of Hannah and making sure she is emotionally and mentally stable. She had to find room for herself and spark a relationship with a man. She’d turned too many men down for the sake of Hannah, giving the reason that they would get in the way. Now that Niall was in the picture, it was easier for Hannah to let Marisa go.

The blonde sighed and shook her head with a slight smile. “I’ll be alright.”

It wasn’t very convincing, but a knock came to the door. “Okay.” Marisa smiled back and walked out the door with greetings trailing behind.

Her heels were soon inaudible and the flat suddenly became very eerie. The television played as soft background noise while Hannah browsed on her laptop that she grabbed off the end table. She was lost in online shopping and all of her other open tabs that a sudden volume change on the television startled her. The movie went to a commercial, and it was just a man selling something on an infomercial.

Just when she thought everything had calmed down, noises from the streets could be heard. It startled her, making her turn the television off, and closing her laptop. She stood from the sofa instantly, not bothering to see what the ruckus was below her and closed the two inches the window was opened at. She shut the blinds immediately after and now stood in the middle of the room looking in all sort of directions.

She was not in the mood to be dealing with another one of her hallucinations. For once, she wished Bradley would stop interfering with her thoughts when she was by herself. All she wanted was to celebrate her New Year’s in peace, but maybe in peace didn’t mean being alone anymore.

Her phone rang, another shrilling noise she didn’t need to hear in mid-thought. It almost made her want to burst into tears. The caller ID gave her a little bit of relief.

“Hey,” Her tone was a little shaky, and she knew right away that he could tell something was wrong.

“You alright, Hannah?” He asked.

“I just feel a little spooked.”

“Let me come get you.”


She let him know everything that was on her mind, aside from her strange affection with him. They were sitting down on the sofa in Hannah’s flat still since Niall was too concerned with her well-being than driving back to his place. Hannah kept on talking about all the sounds around her that were making her go insane even though they were every day sounds. She mentioned that her anxiety level increased after Christmas, after seeing Corey and dealing with the thought of Bradley all over again. Out loud, she reminded herself that Bradley had five years, only three more to go until he was freed.

All the while, Niall listened intently. It was nice of her to trust him with knowing what was going on in her brain. As she began to spill how she thought she was losing her mind, Niall felt bad for pressuring her to talk about Bradley a week ago. It was already a touchy subject to begin with that he even felt terrible for knowing about her family troubles. He hated seeing her so upset, but he was comforted she wasn’t having a panic attack.

“Hey…hey,” Niall shook her by the shoulders lightly. She sniffled and used her index finger to wipe under her eye. His eyes were a calm blue when she finally peered at him. “Do you want to watch a movie?”

She shook her head. “You probably have some party you would like to attend.”

“Well, yeah,” He said, and Hannah immediately felt like a burden. She was ready to reply, but Niall reassured her. “We don’t have to go. We could stay here?”

“What did you have in mind?”

“There is a concert that starts in an hour or so. That’s why I called you, but I had to make sure you were alright first.”

Hannah smiled, her heart ready to burst from his kindness. The idea that he initially called her to go out tonight made her feel wanted and forget about her troubles. The concert actually sounded like a good idea. Being surrounded by people was way better than being alone at the moment.

“You’re too good to me.”

“That’s what being a friend is about, right?”

He laughed wholeheartedly, and Hannah took in his joy, butterflies erupting in her stomach. Once he settled down, the both of them stared at one another for a minute. Hannah wished she knew what he was thinking about, but she had this gut feeling they were both thinking the same thing. He may have said friend, and she knew he meant so much more than that. And she was wondering if she that was how she felt too.

“So, concert or movie or are we going to look at each other for the next twelve hours?” He laughed again, bringing Hannah to do the same.

She shook her head once more, trying to rid of the blue of his eyes from her mind. “Right, let me go change!”

He was only wearing jeans, a black sweater with a tan coat over it, so Hannah wasn’t going for the fanciest look. She quickly pulled out her black jeans and her own tan coat. A cream sweater complimented the rest of her outfit as well as the black tote. The boots were already sitting by the door, so she would get that on her way out.

“You’re lucky we live in London.” Niall told her when he caught her curling her hair in the bathroom.

“Give a girl a notice a day in advance. Otherwise, we would not be in this predicament.”

She unplugged the curling iron in the next couple minutes, having thirty minutes to spare before the concert started. Niall followed her to the front door as she put on her boots and checked to see if everything she needed was in her tote. Then, she glanced at Niall.

“See? Plenty of time. I’m not that high maintenance.”


Their seats were in a VIP section, sitting directly in the center on the second level. Hannah was amazed with the view although the band hadn’t begun to play. Her amazement only grew bigger when she was introduced to Niall’s bandmate, Liam. He was still her favorite in the band, aside from Niall now, but she wasn’t going to let anybody know that.

“I’m so happy I finally get to meet you.” He shook her hand with a grin on his face. As they let go, his arms now motioned to the woman behind him and brought her forward. “This is my girlfriend, Sophia.”

That was the second girlfriend Hannah had met, and she hoped she was just as lovely as Eleanor was to her. The girls shook hands as well rather quickly since they were on opposite sides, letting the boys sit next to one another.

“It’s very nice to meet you. I’ve heard a lot coming from Eleanor.” Sophia said.

“Niall has mentioned all of you numerous times. All I have left to meet is Harry.”

“Saving the best for last,” The brunette joked about the supposed favorite of the five boys.

The four of them talked some once they finally sat down. Niall ordered him and Hannah a beer without permission, but she took it without an argument. The conversation died as the opening act started to play a few songs. For the most part, Niall and Liam were exchanging words and joking with one another, which was nothing new. Hannah checked in with Marisa that she was alright and out with Niall. She didn’t bother to wait for a response. For as great as this night was going as well as her mood, it would be better to tell Marisa everything in person.

It had been a while since the last time Hannah attended a concert. The atmosphere in the room with two thousand people was incredible, and the singer was doing an unbelievably amazing job of putting on a show. She didn’t listen to his music at all, but in this moment, she wished she had. She turned to her right to find Niall singing along to every song, making eye contact with her a second later. She noticed she was grinning from ear to ear at his happiness and even her own. She didn’t want to be anywhere else.

There was fifteen minutes left until it was going to reach the New Year, and the song being sung was making the hairs stand up on Hannah’s arms. The singer was rounding his way up the stairs, shaking hands with the people in the front rows, catching Niall’s at one point. It was awesome to be able to see the popular singer up close while seeing the attendees on the first floor dancing and singing along. Hannah watched them all sway to the music, and she was almost ready to cry from the emotions she was being overwhelmed with.

An arm snuck around her neck and rested there. She peered up at Niall, and he could instantly see her glossy eyes.

“Don’t cry on me now, Hannah!”

“I don’t mean to!” She laughed and wiped under her eyes. “Thank you so much for this.”

“I’m glad to see you’re having fun! This guy is great, isn’t he?”

They took a seat for the ten minute wait for 2014 to arrive. The two of them made small talk with Liam and Sophia for the time being until they were interrupted with a countdown starting at sixty seconds. Almost everybody in the room was chanting the numbers, but Hannah was too busy focusing on the fact that she was caught with another chance to kiss him.

Thirty seconds have already ticked by, and she wished she knew what his motives were. His arm wasn’t thrown around her; instead, he was throwing his hand in the air as the seconds kept going down. Both he and Liam were doing this, so she couldn’t help but laugh. And then, once it got to ten seconds, she froze. The anticipation to the New Year was eating her alive.

And all it took was for her to turn slightly to the right to watch all the other couples celebrate when she was swiftly taken by the neck and met Niall in the middle for a kiss. It was short lived, but stunned Hannah nonetheless. He pulled away, holding her by the shoulders with a huge smile on his face.

“Happy New Year, Hannah!” He yelled over the commotion.

It was the second time tonight they gazed at one another attentively. It was obvious they were both having a great time, and it was socially acceptable to kiss on a day like today. Niall seemed to have more drinks than she did, yet she wasn’t stupid when it came to his feelings. He might have been waiting to do that for a month.

“Happy New Year.” She said and gave back the smile she’d been wearing all night.