Drowning

The reasons why Hannah went out on most Fridays were because of her Saturdays off. She neither had to work nor attend classes, so sleeping the day away was always a constant thought. If it weren’t for the music Marisa was playing in the living room, she might have gotten the chance to.

Hannah rose from the bed in a sleepy state, pulling the sheet from her body before sauntering to the window to let in some light. It may have been past noon, but according to Hannah, any time she woke up felt like eight in the morning. She squint her grey eyes, unaccustomed to the daylight. Before she went blind, she grabbed a crewneck littered on the floor as well as a bra. She changed out of the pajama shirt and headed to the kitchen.

The rock music seemed loud enough with the door closed. Now with the stereo a couple feet away, Hannah could have sworn she was attending some concert. These rude awakenings didn’t happen too often, and when they did, Marisa always wanted something. After grabbing the milk from the fridge, the blonde glanced towards the living room area, seeing Marisa dancing with her back to her. Her friend disappeared from her sight for a moment, returning with a paper towel in hand. She’d been cleaning all morning.

One song led to another as Hannah sat in silence at the table while plotting Marisa’s death. She could have sworn the bowl was shaking on the table due to the bass of the song. And the fact that it was One Direction didn’t help.

“Sing it! Sing it! Sing it! Sing it!”

The voices of the boys blared in the living room, but Marisa’s high vocals could be heard as well.
The next verse came along when Hannah finally stood from the chair, tossing the bowl in the sink rather violently. Her feet stomped towards the living room, Marisa still turned as she was wiping the windows. Hannah grabbed the stereo’s remote off the other end table, lowering the volume as fast as it possibly went. The decrease of noise caused the brunette to turn and catch her friend in a rather chipper mood.

Marisa smiled and walked over to the stereo to pause the song.

“You’re up!”

“Yeah,” Hannah stated coolly. “I’m up.”

“I was getting a little worried.”

Marisa headed back to wiping the window down. Hannah curled up on the corner of the couch on the verge of falling back to sleep. A part of her was so afraid that if she did, Midnight Memories would burst her eardrum.

“Worried?” She questioned. “Is that why you had the stereo blasting? Great music choice by the way.”

Marisa didn’t need to glance at her friend to know she was rolling her eyes, a hint of sarcasm in her tone. She inspected the window for any more spots before tossing the dirty paper towel in a plastic bag. The television was her next project.

“I knew you’d get a real kick out of it. But yes, worried! I can’t have you skipping out on your big day! You have six hours before you leave.”

The blonde rested her bed-head on the couch, letting out a moan of exasperation. This was the exact reason why she wanted to stay in bed all day.

This apparent date was the cause to all of her anxiety these past three days. The known fact has been eating her up inside that all she could focus on was her schoolwork. It took her mind off of it instantly, yet only to be brought back to reality the second she finished.

She had not had any interaction with the Irishman since the day they ran into each other at the grocery store. The only reason she knew she was supposed to meet at some fancy restaurant at seven was because he followed her throughout the store for the remainder of the time she was in there. After leaving the aisle for good, she wasn’t expecting to see blonde boy appear by her side five minutes later, delivering information about what time they would meet up. She was bothered two minutes later, her grey eyes expressing the amount of aggravation she had within her body. That time, she was given the name of the restaurant.

Niall had been treading dangerous water with each attempt to get her attention, and he knew it. His Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat each time he swallowed. Hannah could have sworn she heard him stutter a few times, hands flying to his head to fix his beanie for the millionth time. She almost had the thought of laughing hysterically at his apprehension, but spared him the humiliation. It was already bold enough of him to ask her out on a date. And she couldn’t believe she agreed.

The one thing that really caught her eye by the end of the night was how he didn’t offer to pick her up. They would meet up at the restaurant around seven. All she had to do was show up, and the rest was left for him. Hannah assumed he’d been so nervous from choosing the time and place that picking her up didn’t cross his mind. She ended up being grateful for it; calling a cab would be a better option than to sit in his vehicle.

“And you don’t think I wanted to stay in bed for that exact reason?” Hannah pressed. There was irritation present in her tone.

“Sweetheart, I knew you’d stay in that bed until the day you die if that meant you never would have to see him again.”

The blonde ran her fingers through her hair, stopping short when they were tangled in the rat’s nest. She had to take a shower very soon and do all the other girly preparations for the date. On second thought, leaving the flat looking like this should be enough to scare him away. If she had the guts to out in public like this, she would do it in a heartbeat.

“So, why not put me out of my misery?”

Marisa sighed, having a small grin on her lips. She sat at the other end of the loveseat Hannah was sitting on. “Hannah, this could be a good thing for you!”

Niall hadn’t spoken one sentence to Marisa, which Hannah had more than her fair share of conversations with him. For Marisa to judge whether he was a good thing for Hannah to have in her life left Hannah feeling appalled. It was almost like they weren’t seeing eye to eye anymore.

“Oh please.” She grumbled and stood from the couch. “Of all boys you chose to have interfere with my life, it’s a fucking famous…leprechaun!”

“He seems to have good intentions, Han.”

“Good intentions mean shit to me. I’m hoping for him to screw up this stupid date so I can say ‘I never want to see you again’.”

Marisa had her lips pressed into a thin line, getting up from the couch to finish her cleaning. When Hannah’s mum wasn’t around, Marisa would end up being a motherly figure to her. However, the brunette was way stricter than her mother ever was. Rather than fight with Hannah, Marisa would give a cold glare for a second, and then followed by the cold shoulder. She could hold grudges that felt like a lifetime, when in reality, it’s only been a few hours.

Hannah hated when she brought her best friend to this state, but she cannot help the way she feels. All this time, she avoided relationships; even social contact with men was limited. The sudden push at this potential relationship, friendship, or whatever she wanted it to be called frightened her. Being caught off-guard was not one of her most favorite things in the world, so to say he surprised her was quite an understatement.

She was ready to apologize, but considering the fact that she was so stubborn, she headed back to her bedroom. It was going to take her until the very last minute to appear appropriate for tonight, and Marisa could not hold back. She’d end up coming in her room to help, all problems from earlier pushed to the back of her mind.

“Wear your best dress, yeah?”

Staring at the packed closet, Hannah put two hands on her hips. Her eyes scanned at every single article of clothing at least twice before having thoughts about giving up. Plenty of dresses were smashed into the small space, but Hannah never considered any of them to be her “best”. She bought them out of spite of her addiction or for a certain occasion. Some still held tags on them, which one tag was sticking out and caught her eye.

She took the hanger and let it twirl on her index finger. The dress had been purchased early in the month when she went on a shopping trip with Marisa. It was a little black dress, cutting off at the middle of her thighs. The shoulder straps and above the chest area was made of lace. The clothing was revealing, and without any idea what to wear it for, Hannah bought it anyway. She didn’t know whether it was capable of being her best dress or not, but she’d give it a go.


There was a knock on her bedroom door just as she was towel drying her hair.

“Come in.” She called, seeing Marisa step in a second later.

The brunette glanced at the alarm clock on the nightstand incredulously. She looked stunned, leaving Hannah utterly confused.

“You’re not-” She cut herself off, taking a moment to reconsider her thoughts. “Do you realize that it is five thirty?”

“Yes.”

“What have you been doing with the rest of your time?”

Hannah shook her head at her best friend’s tone of voice, which was high-pitched. It was sort of painful to listen to.

“I’ve been keeping to myself. It’s only a matter of time before I have to spend a perfect Saturday night on a date.” She disgustingly glanced at the outfit placed on her bed. The dress had been accompanied with a pair of black pumps, and her purse rested on top of it.

Marisa glimpsed at the pigsty Hannah called her bedroom. Not only was her outfit for tonight thrown on the duvet, but all sorts of clothes were littered on the floor, some not even making it in the hamper. Makeup products scattered across the dresser as well as some of her schoolwork. The school supplies weren’t even cleaned off her desk, the laptop opened to a word document. It was obvious Hannah had intentions on doing many things at the same time, but Marisa knew it was only because she needed distraction. The shower she just took was supposed to help clear her mind, and seeing Marisa walk in later didn’t help at all.

The brunette exhaled at her best friend, a hand coming to her forehead.

“Is he coming to pick you up? Am I meeting him? What’s the deal here?”

Hannah responded with a groan, tossing the towel near the hamper. It was only a matter of time before Marisa fully entered her room just to place the damp cloth into the hamper.

“No. I’m taking a taxi to the restaurant.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

“Ris, the drive is literally ten minutes.”

The brunette scoffed. “He didn’t even offer to pick you up?”

“No,” Hannah shrugged. “Did I expect it though? No again.”

Marisa shook her head, ridding the negative comments out of the bedroom.

“Let me help you finished getting ready. I don’t need you getting lost in a more massive mess than this.”

The blonde was handed the dress and forced to head to the toilet to change into it. Meanwhile, Marisa tidied up the room. Every article of clothing was tossed into the hamper, which Marisa had intentions on washing while Hannah was gone. The bed had been made and the right makeup for Hannah’s complexion lay on the dresser. The main part of the room had been picked up in record time, but it was amazing that Hannah had not exited the restroom yet.

What felt like a lifetime, the blonde emerged from the toilet and back into the bedroom, hands rubbing any wrinkles out of the tight black dress. Her eyes went wide at the sudden change of the bedroom, yet had no time to give a full reaction before being dragged into the chair. Makeup was being caked on immediately for Marisa had planned on curling hair with the remaining time left. Her hair was pretty difficult to keep in place, so that was going to be a project for the next hour.

It was amusing how the brunette handled her best friend for the remainder of the time she had with her. Hannah always wanted to be doing something else, which would almost make Marisa lose the strand of hair in the curling iron. There would yelling, sometimes screaming matches to make her sit still, ending up with Hannah laughing hysterically. She loved pissing her friend off in the most annoying ways.

With minutes to spare, Hannah’s hair was curled to perfection, hair sprayed in all the right spots to keep it in place. Marisa played with it until Hannah could not take sitting in that damn chair any longer. She raced out of the bathroom as she smoothed the dress down to the appropriate length, grabbing the black high heels off of the duvet. Sliding them on with the huff, ideas of how the date was going to play out were in the back of her mind.

One night, she had to give this boy one night. And then she never had to do this again.


A few blocks away from here flat, she was dropped off in front of a luxurious restaurant. Living in London for over a year, Hannah has been to multiple places, seen multiple monuments. She has probably passed this restaurant plenty of times, but now seeing in the nighttime, it was different. It looked quite foreign to her, most likely due to the fact that she was entering it for the first time. Lights shined brightly from the inside and outside, giving a clear view of the people seated at the tables already. The place looked expensive; wearing her best dress, she still wasn’t expecting some high-end restaurant.

Her heels clicked against the pavement confidently, ambling past the miniature, lit-up fountain. The sound of the water drowned out the people’s conversation walking down the sidewalk. Easily, Hannah weaved passed the pedestrians to get to the front entrance, being faced with hostess dealing with many customers in the waiting room.

“Hello, last name please?” The hostess greeted, looking at the list of reservations.

“Oh, I’m waiting here for a friend.”

The woman nodded, guiding her to take a seat with the rest of the people waiting. Most of them were couples while a family or two huddled in a corner to stick together.

To be honest with herself, Hannah felt like quite an outcast. She was dressed accordingly, but she felt most of the stares she was getting was because she arrived alone. Her date hadn’t shown up yet, and she kept thinking of excuses as to why he wasn’t here yet. He was finding a parking spot in the crowded lot. She was supposed to meet him here by surprise. All these ideas ran through her mind, yet nobody dared to talk to her. Being silently judged, Hannah crossed one leg over another, resting an elbow on the windowsill, hand on chin, gazing out at the city hoping for that blonde boy to show up soon.

Names were being called one after another, leaving Hannah to one of the last people waiting in the small room. It had become less stuffy, but she was becoming more aggravated at the minutes ticked on. Other guests strolled in when the blonde wasn’t paying attention. She shot her head up numerous times only to find older couples being greeted and immediately directed to their seats. This had become a routine for the past twenty minutes that she stopped getting her hopes up.

A figure came before her as she was staring at her phone.

“Are you sure you don’t want to find a seat, Miss?” The hostess asked. “I can check the names to see if you’re on the list.”

Hannah shook her head quickly. “I’d rather meet him at the front entrance.”

The woman nodded at the response before heading back to her place at the podium.

The boy said seven o’clock, and now the time has reached half past seven. Nothing on her phone interested her anymore, and she refused to answer any of Marisa’s texts. A small part of her almost wanted to call Niall to know his whereabouts, but a rush of anger fueled throughout her body at the thought. The boy didn’t even have her phone number. If he wanted to contact her, he would have found a way to do so earlier.

Memories flooded her mind at all the other times she’s been in this position. It’s been nearly forty minutes, yet nothing compared the amount she waited for her past dates. Three hours went by once before all hopes were lost, the night never being brought up again. The memory made her shake her leg, anxiety and rage mixing simultaneously. This was going to be another one of those screw ups.

“Miss, it’s been over forty five minutes. Are you sure-”

Hannah was ready to slap the hostess for invading her personal space for the third time tonight when a gust of wind blasted through the opened door. It was opened with haste, startling the two women in the waiting room. He had his head down to avoid eye contact with everyone. His hands were in his coat pockets, and arms were tightly pressed to both sides of his body to keep him warm. Nobody was standing at the podium, so he turned his head in confusion until it landed on the girls in the other room. The hostess’s body stiffened at the sight of the pop-star rushing into the restaurant. Both of them were looking at Hannah now, a scowl very clear on her face. Hannah rose from her seat and stormed passed the two without another glance. It left the hostess perplexed as to why she would storm out so suddenly seeing that a member of One Direction was standing before them. A whirlwind of emotions plastered on the woman’s face when Niall smiled at her apologetically before running back outside.

The wind had picked up within the past hour, bringing some heavy snowflakes down. Hannah barely gave herself enough time to slip on the leather jacket when she raced out the door. She didn’t zip it up, but instead overlapped one side over the other as she headed down the pavement to hitch a cab.

“Hannah!”

Her name being called from behind only increased pace. She’d be lying if she thought she was going to escape a confrontation.

A hand grabbed onto the leather firmly, forcing her to look at the superstar in the eye. Foggy breaths came from his mouth, and he held a desperate look on his face. His blue eyes shifted rapidly, searching for any dangerous signs in Hannah. Whether it was dangerous or not, it was a risk he was willing to take.

Niall chuckled to lighten the heated tension, but nothing could break that cold glare Hannah held. Arms tightened around her body for warmth, and she did her best to keep her teeth from chattering by biting the inside of her mouth. Niall ran a hand over his hair, snowflakes brushed from the blonde locks flying into the air. His eyes traveled down to her bare legs, seeing how cold she really was. The skin rubbed against one another, goosebumps forming within seconds. The raw emotion of fury was should be blocking out her decreasing body temperature.

“I’m sorry, Hannah.”

Her instant reaction was a scoff, arms flailing in the air as her pursed waved around.

“Sorry? You’re sorry?!” She hollered. “I have literally been waiting forty five minutes for your sorry ass to show and that’s all you have to say?”

“Trust me.” He held a hand out, palm facing down. “I had all intentions on coming here before you arrived.”

“Did you suddenly remember about me before you backed out of another trip to the states?”

“No…what…no-” He stammered, hands flinging to his head again. An exasperated sigh escaped his lips. “I had things to do during the day and I was going to get a short nap in, but my alarm got all screwed up.”

A sarcastic laugh bellowed out of Hannah that she had to cover her mouth.

“Oh, my God.” She stifled another laugh. “That’s it? I made myself look like a fool waiting for you for nearly an hour just to bitch you out for that excuse?”

Niall’s eyes lowered to the concrete, closing them, letting the hateful words come at him with full force. The girl in front of sighed multiple times, attempting to collect everything she planned on saying to him. The words in her mind were a jumbled mess and would sound foreign if she spoke them out loud.

Once she was able to take a stable breath, Hannah took this moment to admire his appearance. The boy had made many shows on red carpets, looking exquisite as most other teenage girls would agree. Something about seeing Niall dressed up in person was different than seeing it through photographs. It was a simple tuxedo, no tie included. A white shirt was buttoned to the top as a black coat draped over his shoulders, and black slacks fit perfectly. With Hannah’s black dress, she assumed that they were attending some funeral with the morbid colors they chose to wear on the first date. A funeral wasn’t a bad comparison for how she felt about the date though.
Suddenly, the sight of him made her jaw tighten, and she bit at the inside of her cheek even harder. Her throat swelled, lip quivered, and tears pricked at the corner of her eyes. All were signs of crying, but she couldn’t bring herself to do so. Right now would be a perfect time to forget her past because she did not need to cry in front of Niall.

“I did not agree to being stood up again.” She stated, trying to sound firm. “So, great job, Niall. You’re off to a great start on this mind-blowing date.”

He noticed the trembling in her voice instantaneously. His head rose, eyeing Hannah carefully. The blonde made sure she look passed Niall, although that didn’t help whatsoever. Salty tears rimmed her grey eyes, but still not strong enough to fall.

It was strange for Niall to see her this way, in such a vulnerable state over a late arrival. Watching her, he saw how difficult it was to maintain her tough exterior. Nonchalantly, she dabbed underneath here eyes, and then stood up straight. Her grey orbs finally met with his blue ones, and he took one step toward her. She instinctively took one step back.

“Hannah, I really am sorry. Just give me a chance. I’m here now; let me make it up to you.”

Niall reached for her arm again, pinching at the leather to hold her in place. The contact made her become rigid, standing in place like a stone statue.

“You have no idea how badly I want to punch you in the nose.”

The Irishman chuckled softly. “If the rest of the date is a fail, I’ll let you take as many shots as you want.”

“I’m bloody serious, Niall. I will be willing to suffer all the consequences for breaking the nose of one of the biggest superstars on the planet.”

“I don’t doubt you for a second.” He told her gently, the small grin present on his face.

Hannah blinked a couple times in a row to rid any tears. The sound of her and Niall’s breathing were audible when no one spoke. She took a deep breath, releasing it through her mouth. In the meantime, Niall placed both of his hands on her arms and ran them up and down. His face was inches away from hers, invading her space, but she didn’t pull away. She locked her eyes with the pavement the whole time he spoke.

“I’m sorry I keep letting you down. Hannah. Please, come inside.” His tone was serious, and Hannah had to stare at him long enough for her to believe all the truth behind it.