Drowning

The cab pulled to the curb in front of a large building, which he presumed to be the main building on campus. He gave it a good look before paying the fare and hopping out of the vehicle. His hands went into his coat pockets and chin in his neck due to the bitter cold. He kept his eyes on the concrete until he reached the steps to the building and lucky for him, finding a map inside to the considerably large campus. Much to his surprise, the library wasn’t too far down, only a few blocks away.

He braced the wintry weather and began striding down the sidewalk continuing to keep his head down for the most obvious of reasons. The wind kept blowing in his face, and he knew his cheeks had already reddened. It took about ten minutes of walking before two other large edifices came into view. There was a sign planted in the lawn that signified he reached his destination. He almost let out a loud groan from the warmth inside of the library.

Niall aimlessly walked into the building, being greeted with a sculpture in the middle of a vast, circular room. A bunch of art was displayed all over the wall and a bench made a circle around the sculpture, protecting it. Off to his right, there was a hallway that led to the information desk. More people were present in that area, so he decided that was the place he was going to head to first. The layout was very spacey and modern and it was a two story building, which looked like it could pass for four. Either way, it was going to be troubling to find Hannah in a place like this.

People passed him without a care, but he knew the others who were standing a good few feet away were the ones that were afraid to approach him. And he was grateful for their apprehensiveness as selfish as it was.

“May I help you?”

The blonde whipped his head to the left at the sound of an old woman voice. She appeared to be the stereotypical librarian to say the least: frail, thin, gray-haired, and glasses with the strings attached, so they can hang around her shoulders like a necklace. The woman was standing behind the main desk, obviously had been watching Niall in his confused state. He made his way over to her.

“Hi. Yes,” He licked his lips. “Is there a girl named Hannah who works here?”

“Oh, Miss. Elliot?” The woman’s face brightened.

“Hannah Elliot,” The name rolled off his tongue in one swift motion. It was the first he’d ever heard her last name. “Yeah, blonde hair?”

“Yes, sir. She works here. Are you her boyfriend by any chance?”

There was another girl working behind the desk, sorting through papers against the back wall. Her interest in the conversation sparked when she heard the last question. Her black hair was in a high ponytail and swept over to one shoulder when she faced the two.

“Ms. Watson, you can’t go about saying these sorts of things!” She scolded the older woman, eye bright at the celebrity right before her eyes. Her tone was hushed. “That’s Niall Horan from One Direction.”

“Oh, pardon me.” Ms. Watson chuckled. “I get a little excited when somebody comes to see her, which is not very often. I worry about her most times.”

Niall nodded, unsure of what to say. This woman was probably one of her only adult influences in her life since she never seemed to talk about her family back home…if she even had family. The fact that she worried about Hannah only increased his concern for her as well.

“I’ve seen her head up to the second level not too long ago. Check the history section. A cart of books needed to be returned to their proper place. It’s the stairs to your left when you walk back out to the Flaxman Gallery.”

The woman pointed in the general area that Niall entered from. He thanked her and began to walk away.

Trudging up the steps slowly, he was relieved to find the history section to his right. A few people roamed in between the bookshelves stocked with novels upon novels, reference books upon reference books. There were many rows of these shelves, each being placed in alphabetical order by author. Niall felt he had to weave in and out of every row just to track down the blonde he’s been dying to see for the past few days now.

It took him up until a couple minutes of walking down every aisle and even peering at the next aisle over between the open spaces in the shelves before he found Hannah. He was reaching the M’s when finally a girl appeared in his vision. The metal cart was at her side with several books still needing to be put on the shelf. Yet, her interest was caught in a particular book. She had it opened to the middle like she had been standing there and reading the whole time. Her posture was slightly off as she leaned on one leg, and her head was tilted to the side at whatever piece of history she was reading. Stocking shelves and reading books were most likely what she did daily, but Niall found it intriguing to see her this way. He would have continued to gaze at her if it wasn’t for his feet dragging him across the carpet.

“Whatcha reading?”

A gasp escaped from her mouth and she jumped, completely startled. His voice was louder than he intended, but nonetheless, she had been in her own little world. The book shut with a noisy thud and set on an open area on the shelf. She turned her head in his direction, letting out an exasperated sigh and an incredulous ye roll.

“What are you doing here?” She cried in a high, whispering tone.

“I came to see you.”

“Are you serious? Have I not warned you about the publicity shit? Are you still not taking a hint?”

“One at a time,” Niall chuckled although he knew his little joke was not enough to deserve her laughter.

“How did you even find me anyway?” Hannah grabbed another book from the cart, inspecting the spine, and crossed over to the other side of the row to slide it between two other thick books.

“If you don’t recall, you did tell me where you go to school.”

“And if you don’t recall, I believe I was coaxed with alcohol.”

“Aw come on,” He said, coming up next to her and leaning an arm on the shelf. “No harm done, yeah?”

“Of course there is. I gave you that information to keep your mouth shut, not for you to visit me. You’re risking it right now, so just…go.”

She reached for another book from the cart and walked further down the aisle to place it in its correct spot. She expected him to leave, but it would never be the case. It was Niall’s first thought, but he knew in doing that, all his efforts of trying to be her friend would be wasted. He shoved his hands in his coat pockets and waited for her to return to the cart. The predictable eye roll came just as soon as she saw him.

“No. You ignored me for a week straight, and I can’t take any more of going unnoticed.”

“Oh Niall, I am not starting an argument in the middle of the library. Your presence is enough for people to stare at.”

He gripped onto the tan colored metal cart. “Will you stop making this about my job? All I want to do is talk to ya, and ya make it literally impossible because all ya can think about is my lifestyle. My whole world doesn’t revolve around it, alright?”

“What difference doesn’t make! Think realistically with me!” Hannah held onto the cart the same way he was, speaking to him in a hushed, harsh tone. “I’m not going to pretend that it doesn’t exist. When I say I don’t want publicity, I mean it.”

“Doesn’t it make it a little hard avoiding the public eye when you’re avoiding my calls?”

“God damn it, Niall, just leave me alone!”

With as much strength as her body contained, she pushed the cart to him. It moved an inch, but not a lot due to Niall hanging on to it. However, the right side of it wheeled further than the left. There was a clank suddenly, signifying that the cart hit something. Hannah already had her body turned, hands running through her hair, though it was in a bun, when she heard him speak.

“Holy shit…” Niall backed away, hobbling on one foot. His back ran into the shelf and he slid down it, clutching on to his left knee. “Oh, my god.”

Hannah turned swiftly at his complaints, eyes moving from the cart to the boy lying on the floor. Her heart beat at an abnormal pace and even her hands were shaking. He didn’t notice her gradually crouch down by him, staying quiet for a few moments.

“Niall, oh my…I am so sorry. I didn’t mean – that wasn’t supposed to…” Her hand covered her mouth for she couldn’t make coherent sentences since she was unbelievably stunned. “I’m sorry. Don’t be mad at me, please.”

The pain wasn’t numbing, but Niall needed to break his eye contact away from his knee and over to the girl kneeling before him. And she was looking directly at him. Her eyes glistened with tears, the irises as grey as stormy skies. She held her lip between her teeth to keep herself from crying, but it did no justice for her. Her hands hesitated to reach towards his legs, always drawing back in the end.
It was, yet again, another moment Niall witnessed Hannah in a weak position. Only this time was different because rather than appearing miserable, she was fearing for her life.

“Is there anything I can do? Oh my god, please forgive me. I didn’t mean to do it.”

Niall remained motionless on the floor. It wasn’t that he couldn’t stand up, but the look on her face had been so powerful that he couldn’t possibly think of anything other than how she was feeling. He hadn’t even spoken a word at her about his pain nor did he put any blame on her. Hannah did it automatically like she had been through this routine countless of times.


“I dislocated it when I was about twelve.”

He could hear her hand reach in the freezer, digging for a handful of ice cubes. He spoke even though he had no idea if she was listening.

She had been frantic since the library, dragging him out of the building and heading out towards one of the back emergency exits. A hand clung onto his arm as she walked to her vehicle and carefully placed him in the passenger seat. Niall felt like he was being treated like a patient that was finally about to leave after surgery. And for as many times as he told her to calm down on the car ride to his home, his words went in through one ear and out the other. Hannah forced him to sit on his couch while she put together a home-made ice pack.

The cubes were dropped in a plastic bag, and a paper towel was ripped from the roll. Her footsteps plodded on the hardwood and the ice clanked against each other, which echoed throughout the flat. Hannah came into view with her wavy hair taken out of the bun it was in earlier. It was tousled over her shoulders. Niall gazed at the placement each strand of hair was in rather than the serious look on her face as she sat down next to him on the sofa.

Hannah set the bag of ice cubes without the paper towel on his knee cap at first, deserving a sharp inhale by him. The bag was instantly removed.

“Sorry.” She panicked. The towel wrapped around the bag and she put it on his bone again. “Is that better?”

“It wasn’t the cold.” He told her with a chuckle. “My knee is still a bit sensitive.”

Hannah smiled nervously, unsure how to respond. She kept the pressure on the bone, but couldn’t look at his face. His face contorted due to the ache in his knee by the added weight.

“You said you dislocated it?” She inquired. Niall looked at her a tad bit surprised that she did hear him.

“Yeah, just being a boy doing stupid stuff,” He laughed at the memory. “Just slipped off a branch when I was climbing a tree,”

“And you never got it fixed?”

“No,” Niall shook his head. “Never had the money to, but I did a lot of physical therapy.” He placed a hand on top of the one icing his knee. It forced her to glance at him. “Don’t feel bad about any of this. It’s very uncomfortable when it pops out of place. It happens a lot.”

She fixed her gaze back on the injury. “I know, but I didn’t need to push the cart.”

“And I didn’t need to test you.” He answered quickly, sighing afterwards. “But, ya make me feel human, Hannah. I mean, you’re nursing me right now, but you had the decency to hurt me first. You make me frustrated and don’t treat me like I deserve to stand on a pedestal. I thank ya for that almost every day, and I’d appreciate it if I could spend some time with ya. It’s all I’ve been asking for.”

Hannah stared at Niall with thoughtful eyes before turning away rapidly. She removed the plastic bag in the process and put it in her lap despite the fact that it was freezing. His warm words gave her feeling he couldn’t see since she wasn’t expressing it. Niall took his hurt leg off of the coffee table slowly, setting his elbows on his thighs to get a better look at her. She appeared baffled, but also unreadable.

Unexpectedly, she lifted her head to face the superstar again.

“I wasn’t entirely avoiding you all week. It was my first intention, but it turned into something so much more than that. I ended up avoiding everybody, really.”

She held a soft expression on her face, trying to be careful with her words.

“We don’t have to talk about it.” Niall offered. “I just needed to clarify a few things.”

“Thanks.” She smiled with her mouth closed. Niall noted how genuine it actually was, not faked for the sake of her phony personality. She continued. “I’d like to clarify something with you as well. It’s that I hate surprises, and I would appreciate it if you notified me when you’d like to see me.”

Niall smiled. “That could be arranged.”

Silence took over the whole house. Background noise drowned out the comfortable quietness quickly such as Niall clearing his throat or Hannah using her thumbs to move the ice cubes around in the bag. It was very clear neither one of them had anything to say at the moment, but Niall has had this one thing to say on his mind ever since they walked into his flat.

“I like this side of you. You’re actually nice when you’re not being mean to me.”

Hannah’s smile turned into a laugh that was too contagious. Her natural instinct was to hit him playfully in the arm, and he feigned hurt, clutching on to his left arm with his right hand.

“I’m just warming up to you.” She told him. “You are not as bad as I made you out to be.”

Niall grinned with a closed mouth, feeling very grateful to hear her say that out loud. He finally felt accepted by the one person he so desperately wanted to be accepted by. It was like nothing else in the world mattered. The fame and the fortune were forgotten from his mind because he got the most important thing of all – a friendship from Hannah Elliot.

He grabbed the television remote off of the coffee table and pressed the power button. A rerun of the show A League of Their Own just returned from a commercial. It was the episode Niall, Harry, and Louis had all been on.

“Oh God,” The Irishman laughed. “This is so mortifying.”

“No, keep it on!” Hannah begged. “I like this one.”

“It’s probably because my bare arse was displayed across the world.”

“Please…” She rolled her eyes and shook her head. “I found Harry missing the shots in that basketball contest more hilarious than you getting a tattoo of Corden’s face on your arse.”

Niall glared at the gorgeous girl next to him. The more powerful and playful the glare got, the more Hannah could not hide her smile any longer. She let out a loud laugh that had to instantly be covered up by her hands.

“You’re such a letdown, Hannah.”


It was nearly eleven o’clock at nighttime when Hannah arrived to her flat. She felt like she was back at home, sneaking in past curfew and hoping her mother never caught her. The key slid slowly into the lock, turning it gradually, yet when she opened the door, the creak of it could possibly be heard all the way down the hall. Hannah knew Marisa would be up at this hour anyway, so she didn’t know why she bothered with being sly. Maybe she thought she could avoid a confrontation, but of course, that was never possible.

Marisa was lying on the couch, one hand supporting her head. The other hand held the remote, and she was getting very agitated that nothing was coming on the television that she liked. As soon as the door was cracked halfway, she dropped the remote control onto the sofa and shot up from her position. Hannah barely made it into the entrance before she was greeted with questions.

“Where have you been?”

“I’m doing okay, Marisa. How’ve you been?” The blonde lashed out sarcasm and walked past her friend to the kitchen where she set her purse and keys on the counter.

“You’ve been gone five hours longer than usual, Hannah. I’m just wondering because this isn’t usually like you. I got worried.”

“Don’t be.” She chuckled. “I can take care of myself.”

She headed to the refrigerator to grab a bottle of water. The first gulp she took had been so refreshing that it made her realize how thirsty she’d been.

“Are you going to tell me where you were?”

“I went to Niall’s.”

“You did?” The brunette was surprised.

“He ambushed me at the library. I accidently pushed the cart into his bad knee. That’s what made me stay late.”

“Did you have a good time?”

Hannah pondered that question for a moment. She placed the water bottle on the counter and put her hands at the edge of it. Her fingers rapped on the countertop and thought back to the previous hours at his flat. A majority of it had been spent on the couch, laughing at the rest of A League of Our Own and anything else that came on television. Hannah had offered to make something to eat once it reached six in the evening, but Niall brushed it off and told her they can order carry-out. Both compromising on Mexican, it came to the door a half hour later, and they continued to sit in the exact same spots on the couch while eating their rice and burritos.

Did she have a good time?

“Yeah, I guess so.” Hannah shrugged. “But, there’s something worse than that.”

Marisa raised an eyebrow. “How could having a good time possibly be bad?”

“No, Ris.” Hannah looked away from the countertop and at her friend. “I think I am letting somebody in my life.”