Never Let Me Go

The sun hitting Alex’s face disrupted his otherwise peaceful sleep. He turned onto his other side, reaching an arm out to snuggle up to Jack, but only felt the cool sheet next to him. He opened his eyes and frowned, not seeing Jack anywhere.

“Jack, sweetie, c’mon. I know that face. I know when I’m not getting the full story. I see Alex here more than Rian or Zack and that’s saying something. Is there something going on with you two? I saw the way you were looking at him during dinner, y’know.” Alex heard Jack’s mom say.

His ears perked up, intent on hearing Jack’s answer.

“Mom!”

He could practically see Jack blushing and laughed.

“Sorry, sorry… didn’t mean to embarrass you, but if there is, I just want to make sure you’re being safe.”

“Aww, Mom!” he said, groaning.

Alex laughed again. He’s so adorable when he’s flustered. he thought.

“Sorry, sorry.” she said.

“I mean… yeah, I’m just trying to help him out since his mom is giving him a hard time about being with me and it’s just… it’s killing Alex. He deserves the best and I hate what this is doing to him. It’s basically the same thing that happened when I dated Mike and now his mom is basically withholding food from him and I just… I wanna be there for him, y’know?”

“Well, I’m glad I raised a son with such a big heart. And Alex is welcome here any time.”

The conversation stopped after that and Alex heard dishes being put into the sink and water running. He smiled, wondering what he’d done to deserve someone as wonderful as Jack in his life. He lay back on the bed and stretched before flipping over again so he could reach his phone, knowing they probably had to get ready for school soon.
His screen lit up and informed him it was 7:15 a.m. Looks like we’re gonna be late. he thought, considering the fact that he wasn’t dressed. He put his phone back on the nightstand and slid off the bed, making his way over to the bag that had his change of clothes in it. He’d tossed his shirt next to his bag and was bent over looking for a clean shirt when he heard footsteps behind him. Arms encircled his waist as he stood up.

“Hey. How’d you sleep?” Jack said in his ear.

“Good… until I woke up and you weren’t there.” Alex fake pouted.

“You’re too adorable. C’mere.” He said, spinning him around, pressing their bodies together, and lowering his head to pull him into a kiss.

“Mmmm…” was all Alex could manage as he lost himself in the kiss. He never wanted this to end.

Jack smiled and touched his nose to Alex’s. He brushed his nose against Jack’s before timidly leaning in and pressing his lips to his.

Jack gave a contented sigh and pulled Alex into him again.

“Not that I’m complaining, but what caused that sudden burst of affection?” he said when they broke apart again.

Alex looked at the ground and rubbed a hand over the back of his neck.

“I woke up and heard you and your mom talking and I just--- you’re just--- wow.” He said to the ground, his pale face turning a deep red.

“I’ll take that as a compliment?” Jack said.

“It is. I’m sorry, I’m better with the whole writing words thing, not the speaking words thing.”

“It’s okay, it happens.”

Alex touched his forehead to Jack’s, closing his eyes. They stayed like that for a minute until Jack’s mom broke the silence.

“Boys, c’mon! You’re gonna be late!”

They both opened their eyes, smiling before grabbing their things from all corners of the room and rushing toward the door.

They got to school just as the clock hit 7:55 a.m., which meant they had five minutes to get to their respective homerooms. Alex reached for Jack’s hand as they got out of the car, earning him a surprised look from the other boy. He nodded, wanting to tell Jack that it was okay, for real. He felt him squeeze his hand and they walked into school together.

“So… I don’t want to bring up a touchy subject, but I couldn’t sleep much last night and I found myself on Google. As my mom said, you’re welcome at our house any time, but if you needed another place, I found some links to some food pantries. It’s not right what your mom is doing and I just want to make sure you always have enough to eat.”

They stopped in front of Alex’s homeroom, still hand-in-hand. He felt tears filling his eyes and swore.

“Hey. Hey, none of that. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

“Not your fault you’re dating a big crybaby. And these aren’t sad tears, they’re happy ones.” Alex said, using the back of his hand to wipe the tears away.

Jack smirked as he dropped their connected hands and slid one of his around one of Alex’s hips, pulling him closer to him.

“Oh, so we’re dating now?”

“Shut up.” he said, his tone joking, “and I mean, yeah that’s what I was thinking.” Alex said, alternating looking at Jack and at the ground.

“Well you know, guys you’re dating usually get a goodbye kiss before they leave.” Jack said.

“Oh?” Alex said, leaning in.

“Uh huh.” Jack said. Their noses were almost touching.

Alex closed the distance between them and their lips met. Jack kissed him back, murmuring an “mmm” into the kiss. He flicked his tongue across Alex’s lips and he opened his mouth to allow Jack’s tongue more room to move. The bell rang then and made both of them jump.

“Go, you’re gonna be late.” he said after they broke apart.

“See you at lunch.” Jack said.

He felt like he was walking on air as he opened the door to his homeroom. He thought he heard someone whisper “fag” as he walked to his seat, but once he turned to look, he couldn’t see anyone who could have been the offender. He saw the rest of the class involved in their own conversations or last ditch efforts to finish homework. He heard two guys' laughing behind him and it soon devolved into snickering. He turned around, looking to see who it was. Did they see me and Jack earlier? Ugh why did I have to go and tell him I was okay with being public? I mean I am I guess and I enjoyed this morning, but--- and oh God, what if they're laughing at me? At us as a couple? How could I have possibly thought it was okay to be like this? Okay, you know what? No. I'm being paranoid. Which reminds me. I have a history test next period and I know nothing about anything. Alex thought.
He blew out a breath to clear his mind, reached into his book bag and pulled out his notes, trying to join his fellow students in cramming in some last minute studying.

The student council president was halfway through the morning announcements when Alex felt something solid but not hard hit the back of his head. He looked down at the floor and saw a ball made of crumpled loose-leaf paper. He turned around, a glare fixed on his face as he scanned the room, looking for the culprit. Two boys in the back of the room turned to each other and laughed. He felt like he’d been hit in the stomach with a sledgehammer. They had been laughing at him earlier. Why do they care so much anyway? Ugh, I'll have to move seats tomorrow. he thought.
He buried his face in his notes, trying to focus on absorbing every fact about the Magna Carta possible.

#

Alex examined his right eye in the bathroom mirror before going into the cafeteria to meet Jack. A red, circular outline had already started to form. I’m going to have a black eye there tomorrow. he thought, a mixture of anger and misery rising in his chest. He tried to comb some of his hair over his eye so it was less noticeable, but his hair barely covered a quarter of it. I don’t want Jack to worry and I know he’s going to when he sees this. He’s going to make such a big deal and I just want to pretend this never happened. he thought. He sighed and started walking toward the cafeteria.

His eyes stayed on the scuffed white and brown floor as he walked over to his usual seat next to Jack. He slumped down, folded his arms, and rested his head on them.

“Day going that good, huh?”

Alex ignored him. He let his book bag fall off his shoulders and onto the floor, not even bothering to reach over and get his lunch out.

He heard Jack chewing next to him for the next couple of minutes, heard him get up, and heard him sit back down next to him.

“’Lex?” he felt Jack’s hand on his elbow.

It’s so weird how comforting I find that. Or maybe it’s how he drops his voice when he’s concerned about me. It’s kinda sweet, actually. Is this what it feels like to have someone care about you like more than a friend? I can’t decide whether it’s nice or freaking me the fuck out. Or both. he thought. He still couldn’t bring himself to look at Jack.

“Aren’t you hungry? You should eat. Is your lunch in your bag?”

He stayed silent. He heard Jack unzip his book bag and the plastic bag that held his lunch rustled as Jack took it out and put it on the table next to him. He made no move to reach for it. Silence settled around them for another minute.

“What’s wrong? D-did I do something? ‘Cause whatever it is, I’m sorry and I---”

Alex wanted to say: No. No, Jack, no. You’re perfect. You’re about the only part of my life going right right now. It’s just everyone else and the stupid expectations they force on people. I don’t know why the other guys in this school have such a problem with us.

Instead, the words stayed frozen in his brain.

What he ended up saying was, “You didn’t do anything, Jack. Don’t worry.”

He hated how monotone his voice sounded.

“So why won’t you look at me? Why won’t you eat? Lunch is almost over and you’re starting to scare me.”

“There. Go ahead and freak out. Are you satisfied now? Can we drop this?” Alex said, looking up from the safety of his arms.

“Shit, ‘Lex, who did this? What happened?” Jack said, his fingers tracing the red outline.

Alex looked down at the table and Jack dropped his hand.

“Nothing, it was nothing. These guys in my homeroom have been giving me a hard time since they saw us this morning and I’m pretty sure one of them shoved me.”

“And you landed on your face?” Jack said, disbelief coloring his tone.

“He waited until I was close enough to the lockers so that I’d hit them. Seriously, can we drop this? I just want to forget it happened.” he said, his eyes still on the chipped brown paint of the lunch table.

“Okay...”

He felt Jack’s hand on his back and almost shrugged it off, but decided it was helping him feel better so he didn’t.

“Please eat something, for me. Like at least half of your lunch?”

Alex looked up again and into Jack’s dark brown eyes.

“Fine. Only because it’s you asking.”

“Thank you.” He said, kissing him on the cheek.

He could feel Jack’s concerned eyes on him as he ate and sighed.

I’m really fine. Why is he so concerned anyway? He just proved my point of why I didn’t want to tell him. He thought.