Never Let Me Go

By the time the last bell of the day had decided to ring, Alex had started to have some second thoughts. Not only had he put extra consideration into what it would be like to sing in front of a person he hardly knew (which he’d done before, but he hadn’t sung or even met Jack’s ‘friends’), but he also thought about what would follow.

Would everything just fall through? Would Jack be just another person he only talked to during class, or would he become more than that? What about the other boys? What if they didn’t approve of Alex or think that he fit in well enough? Would they push him away, and, in turn, push him away from the one person he felt a connection to? Would he be ridiculed for the things he wrote about?

The closer he got to the music room, the more his thoughts fought to freeze Alex’s brain in its panicked state. He noticed that his heartbeat having sped up, and he was having trouble breathing. Before he could even begin to hyperventilate, he took a breath through his nose like he was about to sing and found that it helped calm him down.

He’d almost worried himself into being sick before he even reached the correct hallway. That, of course, was something new: he’d never actually concerned himself with what other people thought about him before because he didn’t think about them in return. What was it about Jack, some kid he’d had all of two short conversations with, that made him any different than the rest?

Sure, the younger boy had such a kind, crooked smile and big eyes that were just the perfect shade of chocolate and he sort of reminded the young teen of his ex in the appearance category, the one he’d only broken up with because she had moved across the country, and maybe Jack was just as sweet as her and would be interested in things like watching movies and holding han—

Alex stopped with that, his entire body freezing and a cold sweat breaking out over his face. His hands turned clammy, and he rubbed them against the thighs of his skinny jeans.

He wasn’t sure where he was even going with that thought, not at all, but he knew that he didn’t like it. He didn’t like Jack. He wasn’t gay, and he also didn’t even know the kid. Alex shook his head. So what if they looked alike? Maybe he’d just been thinking about Jack ‘holding hang-out sessions at his place.’ That would’ve been a completely valid thought. After all, it really wasn’t the first time he’d jumped to conclusions and freaked himself out for no reason.

With a sigh and another shake of the head to put a little more ease to his jumbled nerves, the boy was bracing himself and walking the rest of the way to the music room. He didn’t pause to let his thoughts run rampant a second time, and the door was flung open just a little too hard—on accident, of course.

The other three teens in the room all jumped in fright, their hearts beginning to hammer in their chests, before Jack was giving a wide grin and waving at the newest arrival.

“Hey, Alex,” he said, setting his hand back on the strings, plucking at a few of them mindlessly. “We were just warming up a little bit. I wasn’t sure when you were gonna show, but I already started telling Rian and Zack about your notebook and the songs we played earlier. Hope you don’t mind.”

Alex gave a nervous smile as he glanced around at Jack’s friends. One boy, with shaggy, brown hair and straight teeth, was sitting at a drum set, his fingers twirling the sticks as he grinned back in greeting. The other one (sort of reminded Alex of a girl, if he was being honest) had long black hair that swept over his face, his eyes peeking through the strands hanging there.

It was a moment before Alex remembered that Jack was awaiting an answer, and he cleared his throat before nodding and stepping a little closer. “That’s fine,” he said, his grin faltering for a moment as he reached the small group of friends and sat on the ground a few feet from them. “I, ugh… I don’t really have many ideas for bass or drums with any of my songs yet. I hope that’s okay.”

“Don’t worry about it,” drummer boy said, wide grin still stretched across his lips. “I’m sure me and Zack’ll be able to figure something out for it. Jack said he learned a few earlier, so maybe if you and him play it, we’ll be able to come up with something along the way. I mean, it probably won’t be good or anything, but at least it’ll be an attempt, right?”

Alex gave another weak smile, mumbled a quiet, “Yeah,” and shrugged his backpack off in order to pull out his songs. Pages were flipped through until Coffee Shop Soundtrack finally made an appearance, and he grinned down at it proudly before scooting a little closer to Jack so that they could both see what was written.

As soon as Jack was sure on what he was doing, he began to strum the opening chords. By the end of the song, the other three boys had joined in. It was messy and a little obnoxious, no doubt, but Alex felt much more at ease than he had before he’d barged in.

He glanced up from the book, catching Jack’s eye in the process and smiling wider. Alex might have forgotten that they weren’t the only people in the room like they’d been hours prior, and he looked down bashfully as he searched his mind for a decent enough compliment.

As it would be, though, Zack and Rian hadn’t forgotten that there were others in the room, and before Alex could open his mouth to speak, they were letting out cheers.

“That was great, dude!” Rian said, hands still wrapped around the drumsticks and arms waving them triumphantly in the air.

“Yeah,” Zack said, reaching up to push his hair from his eyes. “It could use a little work, but whatever. What else do you have?”

Alex fought the blush that overtook his pale face and looked back toward his lyric notebook, having to put effort into forcing his mind from Jack. After all, they were just friends having a good time, right? And friends don’t always have to compliment each other.