Started Out Fake

It started out as just a way of keeping my brother alive, those kisses we shared.

He liked me as more than a brother, all I had to do was pretend to like him back. It stopped the cutting, the alcohol, the drugs.

It was all because of me, I caused it, I fixed it.

It started off as little pecks, a little farther if no one was home. Nothing too big or too hard to fake.

He was an amazing kisser and his hair felt amazing between my fingers, the way he held me.

But, I felt nothing for him.

I broke up with my girlfriend, which wasn't too hard, been thinking about it for a while, really. He saw it as for him and with the smile that lit up the room, I couldn't tell him any different.

Not when he was so happy and carefree, almost like he used to be.

It started out as just a way of keeping my brother alive.

I didn't used to /want/ him like I do. I didn't used to be in love with him.

Like I am now.

I never thought I would ever find myself naked, underneath him, begging shamelessly.

That we would end up saving up our money from our part time jobs while we finished high school.

That I would buy a house with him.

That it would all start so fake.