Try for Me.

Today was my counselor and homework day, so I decided to wake up early and get my homework done. I glance at the clock and it showed seven o'clock, no one would be awake and that was the perfect time to go to Jace's office.

I brush my hair, the layers falling over my face, and my bangs getting a bit long for my liking. I slip my alien hoodie over a tight black Queen shirt with dark blue faded jean shorts. I slip on Spider-man socks, and my black generic shoes with neon laces.

"Where are you going?" Noelle barked from her bed.

"A walk," I lie.

"Whatever just be quiet, you woke me up," she was so grouchy. I roll my eyes and hurried out before she takes my head off. I quietly close and lock my door, wearing my lanyard around my neck. I wait for the elevator patiently, enjoying the eerily quiet dorm hallway.

"Hey," Jace greets, standing in the elevator as per usual.

"Hi," I squeak, standing beside him.

"Going up?" He asks, quirking a brow.

"To your office actually," I shrug.
"I want to get everything done as early as possible so I can relax."

"That's a mature way of scheduling yourself," he compliments.

"Thanks," I nod. We walk quietly down the hall together, he unlocked his office and allows me in first.

"I want to apologize for the other day," he immediately started an unprofessional session. I quirk a brow, taking a seat and watching him pace the room by his window. "You were right, that wasn't my sister. That was in fact my ex, and I don't know if you remember me telling you how badly I was hurt by my ex, but if you do then you would understand."

"Damn," I whisper.

"What?" He asks, gulping.

"My sister did say she acted more like a bitter ex, I guess I should have listened," I sheepishly admit, slouching forward. At that moment he froze and his eyes widened like a deer in the head lights.

"Your-your sister..." he stammered.

"She isn't going to say anything," I assure. He ran his hands through his messy hair multiple times.

"I am so fucked, I can't believe you told her," he growled through gritted teeth.

"She remembers you from the lake," I explain, he paused.

"Oh," he mutters.
"I guess that isn't anyone's fault then."

"No, it isn't," I dryly hiss with a shake of my head.
"I would never tell anyone anything."

"I appreciate that," he whispers.
"Anyways, I-"

"You don't have to explain anything," I assure with a weak smile. I mean I was making out with Aiden the other day, and didn't even let Jace explain. I mean sure he has been complaining about my drunken weekend antics but after the way Aiden has been with me, I can't exactly blame Jace for being annoyed.

"Seeing you with Aiden has really gotten under my skin, Vivian," he used my full name. This wasn't going any where good. I gulp with anticipation for bad news. "I can't keep this up anymore, you know."

"This?" I wince.
"Is that all I've been to you?"

"You know what I mean," he pauses, licking his lips.
"I want you to experience high school. I can't keep my attachment to you."

"Which is it, me or you, that you are worried about?" I snarl, pressing my tongue against my clenched teeth.

"Both," he answers.
"Relationships are about both people."

"Then why aren't you taking my wants into consideration?" I hate the fact I can't just have a secret amazing relationship with Jace and just finish my senior year happy.

"Because you are still a child," he comments.
"As an adult I have to make the best decisions for you."

"I am going to be eighteen soon," I remind.

"I wish I met you then," he was honest and although it hurt I understood.

"So, where do you want go from here?" I ask.
"What was the point in your guilt confession about your baby mama?"

"I want us to just act like we never happened," he choked back.
"And you deserved an explanation, I could see how hurt you were."

"Okay," I nod a couple more times than necessary.
"Alright, thank you counselor."

"So, about school," he swiftly changes the subject to a more appropriate one.
"You were talking about the guys in the school and reputations, peer pressure for sex?"

"It isn't peer pressure anymore," I smile.
"And yeah, the guys are desperate."

"Why isn't it peer pressure anymore?" He sighed.
"Please don't do anything stupid because of me."

"I promise I wont do anything because of you, but because I was holding back for you," I promise. Jace's expression showed an emotion I desperately missed, something that showed me he cared and it felt so nice to say the least. I bit back the urge to smile. Then it hit me, I was acting like Aiden. "Counselor, I need to remember that I am a single Senior in high school and some day I will look back and wish I explored my options instead of being hung up on someone who wont ever want me the way I want them."

"Or you will look back with regret and wish you had stuck to your studies," he corrected with hope.

"Either way, I am no longer going to be held back because of someone else," I explain. "I think that is probably the most progress I have reached with any type of, whatever this is, therapy, counseling, whatever. I just need to stop being dramatic, stop being over the top to get a reaction, and just need to live in the moment." I was having my own epiphany and although to Jace it was me rebelling against him, genuinely it was my own realizations.

"Vivian, please don't do anything stupid just because we are done," he begs. I reassuringly smile.

"I am actually serious, I wont come to your house anymore on the weekends, drunkenly or whatever. I wont be going out of my way to get your attention anymore, Jace. I want to live for me, and I got a taste of a first love romance whatever that was, and it really did a number on me, I wasn't myself anymore. I am sorry I put you through that," I apologized.

"Wow," he whispered. I stood up, and smiled at a dumbfounded Jace.

"Thank you for today's session," I genuinely thank with a nod. I slowly closed his door behind me, as though closing a door to a chapter in my life that I wasn't sure should have even happened or not. I took in a deep breath, proud of myself. I am going to take back my life.