Miss Mayhem

I focused on breathing, and then, focused on everything but what begged my attention. My eyes fixated first on my shoes, black converse that hugged my ankles. The shoelaces were caked with dirt, and there was the start of a small hole on the left side of my right shoe, up near the toe. I wrung my hands, which felt sweaty and gross. I ran my hands through my hair, which I forgot to tie up. I didn't show yesterday or today, either, so the smell of strawberry shampoo was gradually fading. My breath finally slowed enough for my heart to find reason to stop racing, and with my hands placed firmly at my sides, I stood shakily, between the two graves that were Nate's and C.J.'s.

Having been trying to distract myself, I didn't realize that someone had held my up. But all at once I knew who it was that held both of my hands in his, holding them as if they were made of porcelain and might break at any moment. He squeezed them lightly, leaning down so that we were eye to eye. At this point, I snapped out of it and jerked away from his lovely emerald gaze.

"Wh-what are you doing here?" I asked accusingly, backing away as far as I was allowed without falling into another grave, arms wrapped awkwardly around myself.

Christian didn't move towards me, nor did he look hurt. He shrugged lightly, placing his hands in his pockets. "I'm always around when you need me. I thought you'd know that."

I shook my head. "No. I don't know that."

But my words didn't seem to phase the brown haired boy, as I so thought they would. Curiously, and yet carefully, I walked to him, though he wasn't looking at me now. He was looking at the headstone to his left. Nate's.

"You... you share the last name?"

C.J. nodded. "Yeah, and it's not just coincidence, so don't ask that next."

I hesitated. "Was he your son?"

This time a look of pain flashed across his expression, but it was quickly masked, in that same way on the day I met him in the school hallway. "Nah. Nathaniel was my little brother."

"Oh," I said, then shook my head, placing my face in my hands. "He was imaginary, though, wasn't he? How could Nate be dead, if he was imaginary?"

"Well, I thought it was obvious by now that he wasn't."

"Well," I retorted in a mocking voice, fed up with all of this confusion. "Excuse me for not know what in the world is going on."

This time, C.J. looked a little smug, and I tried to figure out if this was the same boy from yesterday who brought me sunflowers. "I was trying to explain last night before you kicked me out."

"You barged in."

"No, miss Lennons, I was in fact, invited."

I rose a brow, and then realized he was right. The Ouija board. I shrugged as if that little tidbit of information didn't matter. "What if I let you explain now?"

Christian cocked his head to one side, and then to the other, considering me and what to do with the scenario handed to him. "I really don't like talking about my past in a graveyard. Especially not this one."

"Fine, but I want to know something."

"That was my original intention."

"What are those rings for?" I asked, pointing an index finger at the chain around his neck. Again, his hands shielded the pieces of jewelry protectively.

But a grin was feigned, a quite convincing one at that, and he ruffled my hair childishly, walking past me with his hands retreating to the pockets of his plain jeans. "Now, now, miss Lennons, it simply wouldn't make sense if I told you straightaway."

I groaned and jogged to catch up with him, more or less accidentally bumping his shoulder when I met his side. "Then what all do you need to tell me?"

"Quite a lot, if you'd be willing to listen."

"Do I have to?"

"Not necessarily, but eventually, yes."

I huffed, and he bumped my shoulder back with a little bit of a smile, which caused me to beam in return. I stopped myself, quickly looking away. "So is the whole charming act up?"

"And what ever could you mean?" I knew he was dramatizing his words to annoy me, as if he knew which buttons of mine to press. And man, did he.

"Helping me pick up my stuff in the hall, the sunflowers... is that all done with?"

"In case you were wondering, I'm not here to serve you. I was simply trying to make a good impression and you quite rudely cast that off."

I looked back at him, but now he gazed ahead, and I decided to do the same. "Sorry."

Christian shrugged. "Don't apologize if you don't mean it."

"But--"

"Because if you don't mean it but you say it anyway, that's pretty much lying, right?"

I bit my lip and nodded. "Yeah, right."

We fell into silence then, walking along the sidewalk. There weren't many people that were out and about right now, what with a good lot of folk at work or school, and the few that were sitting on their front porches or tending their gardens didn't seem to notice C.J. and I walk by. The two of us wandered the streets rather aimlessly at first, but then the male at my side strode with more purpose, taking sharper turns and walking a little faster. Eventually I looped my arm through his so that he wouldn't dash off at any given moment. When he flashed me a look of surprise, I stuck my tongue out in a childish manner.

"Can't have you running away, now can I?"

C.J. didn't answer, just rolled his eyes with a muffled smile, and stopped when we reached the zoo. The parking lot was stuffed with school buses, cars, and the vehicles of teens skipping school to hang out. I suddenly felt awful.

"Hey," I mumbled, tugging at his arm. "We really shouldn't be here, I-I didn't even bring money to get in."

That look of pride shone on his face one more, bright as the morning sun, and he just kept on walking, refusing to answer me. I was about to shout at him when he pulled me through the wall. Yes, the wall. The wall of the ten-foot-tall brick gate that enclosed the zoo. I felt as if I had become a ghost, whisking through the thick material like I did. I found no breath to scream, instead finding myself holding on helplessly to my guide. He seemed to know what he was doing, and if he didn't, well, then I could punch him once or twice.

"Wanna know something cool?" He asked, finally looking down at me, and I nodded. He took a deep breath for dramatic effect and then continued. C.J. leaned down to whisper in my ear, his breath tickling my skin. I could practically hear him grinning. "You're invisible right now."