Teenage Wasteland
Ch. 1
My mother was a saint, to everyone around her she gave and gave until she had nothing to offer and what was left she threw to us. She had claimed to die without us, but when one of us cried for kindness begged for her love she pushed us away and kissed the wounds of the selfish
See God did send angels to earth. Saints just concealed in a sinner belly out of evil came good. MY mother was a kind of angel. The whole world knew it preaching every time she came along. Everyone would exclaimed loudly "We love you." Then from her noble heart she laid with a man, a stranger to her world she fell in love.
I understood what i was when i was just a little girl and mother left me to be taken care of with her brother who shared her blood but not the goodness in it. HE took it into his hands to clear my innocence. He kissed an unstained skin and left his lips imprinted in my soul. My blood boiled with anger and with the years it grew. I grew into everything she hated.
I suppose you can say I grew bitter with every breath I took on this fucked up place. I blamed myself for a long time, I blamed the world, I blamed her, I blamed everything.
It seemed reasonable to hate myself comparing myself with such nobleness. I knew she was not one to claim as my own even when the world told me she was my mother, words that would only outrage me even more how lucky I was supposed to be having someone like that in my life. I knew too well that it wasn't luck that got me her love but the devil who wished to push God's creation to desperation.
I was fine despite all the bad shit that ever happened to me. I believed the world had its nicest view I had ever seen in life. I kissed my parents cheeks and wished them nothing but the best. I stayed home and rotted inside in my bedroom when the rest of the kids went out. I was good.
Nevertheless, then I turned 18; and I let the world to swallow me whole and for the first time ever I broke a heart over and over again. I broke my mother's heart and felt no sympathy. It was certainly not I didn't care about her anymore. I had found my home with a man that only spoke three words and blew me away.
I had fallen in love.
See God did send angels to earth. Saints just concealed in a sinner belly out of evil came good. MY mother was a kind of angel. The whole world knew it preaching every time she came along. Everyone would exclaimed loudly "We love you." Then from her noble heart she laid with a man, a stranger to her world she fell in love.
I understood what i was when i was just a little girl and mother left me to be taken care of with her brother who shared her blood but not the goodness in it. HE took it into his hands to clear my innocence. He kissed an unstained skin and left his lips imprinted in my soul. My blood boiled with anger and with the years it grew. I grew into everything she hated.
I suppose you can say I grew bitter with every breath I took on this fucked up place. I blamed myself for a long time, I blamed the world, I blamed her, I blamed everything.
It seemed reasonable to hate myself comparing myself with such nobleness. I knew she was not one to claim as my own even when the world told me she was my mother, words that would only outrage me even more how lucky I was supposed to be having someone like that in my life. I knew too well that it wasn't luck that got me her love but the devil who wished to push God's creation to desperation.
I was fine despite all the bad shit that ever happened to me. I believed the world had its nicest view I had ever seen in life. I kissed my parents cheeks and wished them nothing but the best. I stayed home and rotted inside in my bedroom when the rest of the kids went out. I was good.
Nevertheless, then I turned 18; and I let the world to swallow me whole and for the first time ever I broke a heart over and over again. I broke my mother's heart and felt no sympathy. It was certainly not I didn't care about her anymore. I had found my home with a man that only spoke three words and blew me away.
I had fallen in love.