Bourbon and Ray-Bans

The next few months flew by. Filming started up again and season three was shaping up to be even more insane than the first two combined. We had several hard weeks of work which included saying goodbye to both Irone and Sarah who would be dying in episode four. Sarah was sticking around in flashbacks/ghostly encounters though, so we still got to keep her around for a bit. It sucked losing cast mates and friends.

So far, I’d kept my promise to myself to remain distant from Norman. He hadn’t really pushed the issue either. I sensed he wanted his own distance and we grew comfortably into the friends only zone that we should never have left to begin with. Mingus still called me from time to time hoping I’d come visit. I diverted his questioning into making him promise to come to Georgia instead. That I could handle.

Comic Con was upon us before we even had time to blink. San Diego was going to be a blast. I’d never been and had booked a room at a beachside hotel for some serious relaxation when I wasn’t working the con. The flight out was uneventful as I’d made sure to book separately from anyone else. I was becoming great at avoidance. Lauren had booked a room at the same hotel though. I guess she was in need of a little sun and fun as well. I could live with that. Lauren and I had become close friends.

The day before the convention started, Lauren and I found ourselves poolside sipping whatever cocktail the pool staff kept putting in our greedy little hands. We were having a blast.

“I have a confession to make.” I always made confessions several drinks in. I just couldn’t help myself.

“Yes! Confessions are marvelous things. Do tell.” We both giggled.

“This is the first time I’ve ever worn a bikini in public.” She looked at me in disbelief.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“Nope. I was always about 50 lbs. overweight growing up and through college. Never had enough confidence to show that much skin. The show has really helped though. Not just with the built in weight loss program, but also the confidence boost and just getting more comfortable in my own skin. Oh man...that was probably the lamest confession in history.” I needed another drink.

“No, that’s so fantastic. I’ve always just been a skinny girl. I tried desperately to gain weight as a teenager. I actually ate 100 cookies in one sitting once. Mostly, I just wanted boobs. Being a girl can really suck sometimes.” Lauren smiled and continued to sip on her fruity beverage. She looked at me again like she wanted to ask me something.

“Spit it out.” I knew what was coming.

“You and Norm? What happened there?” I wasn’t sure I even knew.

“Long story short, I was an idiot and then stopped being an idiot. Things are much more manageable now.” I closed my eyes and let the sun soak over me.

“You both look properly miserable. Did you guys...you know?” I raised my sunglasses at her.

“No. There was no sex in the champagne room.” She laughed so hard she choked on an ice cube.

“That’s a bloody shame. But you guys totally made out. I can tell. It’s a sixth sense thing.” I blushed. “I knew it!! Details or it didn’t happen.”

“No real details to share. We kissed once at the GQ photoshoot because that’s what the photographer wanted. It was closed mouth, though. And then he had tongue sex with my neck one time in his apartment back in March. We were both drunk and his kid walked in before things could go any farther. Thank God.” This conversation required more alcohol.

“Yeah, okay. But how did those things make you feel? I guess what I’m asking is, do you or did you have feelings for him?” I really didn’t know how much I should share, especially with someone who knew him and saw him on a regular basis.

For several minutes I just sat staring straight ahead which was probably all the affirmation she really needed. She reached out and put her hand on my knee and gave me a small smile. “Love is so fucked up. Let’s get shitfaced and forget men exist.” And so we proceeded to do just that.

The next morning arrived all too quickly. The cast had a radio interview in the morning and two television spots to film in the afternoon. Our discussion panel would be the following day. Lauren and I were badly hungover and did our damndest to hide in the background, sunglasses firmly in place. Andy and Steven called us on our bullshit about halfway through the radio segment.

Once the interview ended, we were on our own for lunch. I wanted to sneak off and take a nap back at the hotel, but Norman had other ideas. He grabbed my hand on the way out and pulled me aside. We hadn’t spent much time alone together since the fiasco in March.

“Have lunch with me, please?” Pushing his Ray-Bans on top of his head, he looked at me and licked his lips nervously. “Please?”

I just nodded my head and followed him out of the convention center and to a hotel restaurant across the street. We ducked inside and found seats at the bar. After ordering our drinks and food, we still hadn’t spoken to each other.

“So, what’s up?” I was fed up with the awkwardness. There was no reason for it. Not anymore.

“Are you still pissed at me?”

“I was never mad, Norman. I’m not mad now.”

“You’ve barely spoken three words to me in the past three months. I’ve had longer conversations with the extras on set.” He had a point.

“Yeah. I guess I just needed a little bit of space or distance or something. Things were getting muddled, you know?” I hope he didn’t need me to elaborate.

“I get that, but B, I don’t want to lose you as a friend. I’m sorry for all the bullshit, okay? Don’t completely shut me out. Let’s just start over and be the Brodie and Norman circa 2011.” Could we do that? Could I do that?

“You mean like be total BFFs? Friendship bracelets and everything?” I wanted to go back, too. If it didn’t work this time, I’d know it never could and at least I’d have the closure I needed.

“Absolutely. I’ll make sure yours in bright pink with 'My Best Bitch' written in sparkly letters. You’ll love it so much you'll want to puke. Or punch me in the balls.” He nudged me jokingly with his shoulder and we ate in companionable silence. God, I had missed this - missed him - so very fucking much.