Coming Home

Cassadee walked down the aisle alone, clutching a bouquet of flowers, trying not to notice the people around her. She was the 3rd bridesmaid before Wendy, and even though she loved Dave and Wendy, she just didn’t like people staring at her.

She focused her eyes on Dave, and upon eye contact, she noticed Dave’s smile reach hers from across the room and she smiled as well. She kept eye contact with her brother until she ended up next to him- a break from tradition. She would always be his sister, and she would always stand by him.

Derrick watched as Cassadee exchanged impish looks with her brother, their faces a mere echo away from each other’s. He wished he had a family like hers, because when he looked at their parents, he felt an undeniable sense of strength and timelessness to their love. When he looked at his family, all he saw were cracks- a family that was still trying to love each other.

Then the music intensified and Wendy was walking down the aisle, shining and radiant. Derrick watched Dave’s eyes break from Cassadee once, then never again returning that eye contact.

Because in life you search for that one person to spend the rest of your life with together, the same pace as you. Every step of the way, you hope the one you love will follow you- right into the dark.

Derrick believed that marriage was a promise to never walk away from something larger than yourself, and as soon as you were married, nothing would matter more than the person whose hand you had taken.

It was funny how the idea of marriage and love can be tainted by lies, greed and misery. He could only pray that Dave’s and Wendy’s marriage would last, what else could you do during a wedding?

Cassadee felt Dave’s eyes leave her, switching to Wendy, who looked like she might just collapse on the floor. Her hands were shaking horribly, her eyes a rigid cold colour. She didn’t know what the others saw, but all she saw was that Wendy was afraid.

Not until she reached Dave.

Then there was a blossoming of strength as he reached out for her trembling hands to guide her next to him, where she would remain till they died. Cassadee would always be Dave’s sister, but Wendy had now replaced her and Clary as the top spot. Cassadee knew that Dave would never love another person more than he loved Wendy, and this love would be passed on to their child.

It is a strange feeling to be involved in a wedding. Cassadee was bearing witness to her brother leaving her side to conglomerate into another world- the world of married and mature adults. In the celebration of the unity of two families, and the unison of two lovers- there was also separation. Wendy, from her maiden name and her family. Dave, from his responsibility to his birth family. He was a new man now.

As Dave joined hands with Wendy, there was a feeling that she didn’t belong. A synergy that filled the room that prompted Cassadee to avert her eyes from the two people about to be wed. She suddenly felt very alone standing up there, next to her father, next to Dave.

Casting her eyes out into the crowd, she searched for her friends.

Angela was crying, tears shining against her skin, smile inked onto her face. Caleb was smiling, the way you would smile when you felt happy for someone. Caleb’s eyes switched to her for a moment, smiling at Cassadee, nodding in her direction before giving her a thumbs up. Jared was slouching lazily beside them, trying to shield the purity and innocence a wedding provided. Cassaadee struggled not to roll her eyes, somehow being in college stunted Jared’s maturity.

Then she noticed Tobias, in a turquoise under-shirt, staring in her direction. She looked at him, wondering why he didn’t return her look. Then she realised that Tobias was staring intently at Jared’s back, an unmistakable frown on his face, as if his face was being pulled down by weights. It was a look Cassadee was familiar with, because she had seen that exact same look before. It was the look that Derrick had when he first saw Cassadee and Caleb together, 5 years ago. The look of a soured man. Her stomach grinded in curiosity, momentarily blinding the acute awareness that Cassadee had about Dave. She would ask about it later.

“Do you, Dave Kendall Adams promise to lift the sorrows and light the shadows of darkness away from Wendy Asher?”

Cassadee smiled tepidly. Her dad had written the vow, egged on by her mother. He had told Dave that he wanted a say in the vows because he “didn’t want my damn leg to fall asleep after 5 minutes of vow reading”, hence the very short and flowery vow.

Cassadee saw Wendy stifle a small smile as Dave nodded and provided the ‘yes’ they were all expecting. He smiled too, a laughing smile and for a moment, the altar was a place of laughs. Cassadee’s father himself too managed a small chuckle.

Then Wendy did the same. And that was it.

As they kissed, Cassadee looked away- kissing would always remain a mystery to her. How it managed to pull two people into secrecy, yet still be so public and socially aggressive sometimes. She looked at the crowd, everyone cooing and looking at the newly-weds in interest, thankful that no one noticed her looking away.

Except him. Who else did she expect to be looking straight at her?

Derrick was sitting at the 3rd row, his arms crossed in front of him, looking at her with an unreadable expression. Sometimes Cassadee didn’t know what he was looking at when he looked at her. She had said so much to him, yet so little as well. She had provided all the answers that he wanted to know, but kept those that he needed to know a secret. There was still a thinning wall between them, that which separated the past and now. And it felt funny, to be feeling this wall at her brother’s wedding.

Then as quick as a flash, she saw Derrick form a letter ‘L’ with his fingers, before brushing his hands down again. She stifled a small smile, feeling her father nudge her in the ribs.

“When’s it your turn baby girl?”

“Dad, now’s not really the best time.”

“Don’t think I’ve noticed that that boy’s been staring at you ever since you walked in.”

Cassadee felt herself flush, the heat rising to her face.

“It’s Caleb and Angela’s last day here. Make it special for me will you,” she replied, as the room exploded into applause as Dave and Wendy were now Mr and Mrs Adams, the second pair in their family.

“Sure Cass. Don’t get too drunk now,” her father whispered to her before pushing her in the direction of the crowd, urging her to join her friends.

“You too Dad, and keep Mum away from the vodka please.”

She heard her father’s hearty laughter mixing in with the crowd, but she only saw Derrick, languidly approaching her as the hall flooded with laughing and chatter. She pushed towards him, hardly aware of all the buzzing around her as people tried to talk to her- she was after all, the groom’s sister.

“Aren’t you going to catch the bouquet?” He asked, an inkling of a twinkle in his eyes as she walked towards him.

“I don’t think I’m ready for that commitment yet,” she replied snidely, crashing into him as someone accidentally shoved her. She grabbed his arms as they bumped into each other, his hands on her elbows. She expected his smile to falter, but it grew wider.

“We’ll see if you’re telling the truth when the wine comes in.”

~

“One last day,” sighed Caleb as he kicked his feet up onto the table, watching as people milled around the dance floor. Cassadee looked at him, feeling the cool air brush across her shoulders. She had changed out of her dress and was now clad in a simple crocheted white dress which ended just above her knees.

She had almost forgotten Caleb and Angela were leaving tomorrow. There was just so much happening, that it didn’t feel real yet.

“Hanging in there Caleb?” She asked. Caleb just shrugged, smiling at Angela who was still gushing over Wendy’s evening gown that she designed.

“You think you’ll ever marry her?” Cassadee asked, watching the way Caleb looked at Angela, like he was just happy with her. Caleb sighed, running his hand through his hair.

“That’s a heavy question to ask Cass.”

“Figured I’d give it a shot, you are leaving tomorrow.”

“Sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever be content spending forever with her.”

“What?” Cassadee snapped, her eyes jerking to Caleb, who was staring at his fingers. Feeling the heat from her eyes, he immediately put his feet down and stared back at Cassadee- both covered by the pot of flowers in front of them.

“5 years is a long time Caleb, you’re telling me that you find her boring?” Cassadee asked again angrily.

“Oh god no! I think she’s pretty amazing, there’s not a minute I regret when I’m with her,” Caleb said, his eyebrow twitching uncomfortably.

“I just. I always wonder if what I’m doing is okay. If I’m just going to live my life like this forever. Doesn’t seem much of an adventure,” he shrugged.

“What else did you expect Caleb? Pirates? Sword-fighting?”

Cassadee watched as Caleb grimaced. It suddenly dawned onto her that Caleb might have been 23, but he had never been forced to grow up. He was still that boy inside.

“Caleb,” Cassadee sighed, picking at the knitting of her dress, not knowing what to say to her friend without sounding like a bitch.

“I know I know. Life’s great, I’m really lucky to be here. I know that Cass, it’s just sometimes I feel kind of stuck.”

“But you’re going to New York tomorrow. With Angela. Don’t you think that that’s a new chapter already?” Cassadee asked, slapping her hand on his thigh. She was suddenly tired of talking about people leaving her life, she should be celebrating, not talking about things like this.

Caleb looked at her sideways, smiling wryly before looking at Angela as she approached the table. In the light, she was beautiful- and it was clear that Caleb never regretted the day he thought that she was beautiful too. Reaching the table, Angela grabbed a champagne glass and gulped it down before squealing.

“Whoo! That felt good. Dance Caleb, now,” she demanded, dragging him off his feet and onto the dance floor. Cassadee watched as her lanky friend followed Angela, adoration written plainly on his face.

She sat alone for a while, watching couples swaying on the dance floor. Dave and Wendy had retreated to their tables, whispering and giggling into each other’s ears. Cassadee’s parents were waltzing the night away. Derrick was nowhere to be seen, he had received an urgent phone call and had excused himself.

Sighing, Cassadee fished for another cup of champagne and took a sip.

~

“Sampson?”

“Derrick, sorry to bother you, just thought I’d deliver the good news.”

“What is it?”

“Ratings have gone up, doubled in fact. Thanks to you.”

“What did I do?”

Derrick heard his father laugh over the phone, a laugh that he didn’t quite appreciate. His father had changed- once burdened with the welfare of the nation, now burdened by NDP’s individual popularity. Greed could do much to a person.

“You getting together with Cassadee of course. The people love it. There’s nothing more like a public show of affection and forgiveness. And after all that happened, let’s just say the people enjoy a good show.”

Derrick’s mind emptied, as he felt the very familiar surge of anger rush into his mind.

“A show? You think we’re doing this for you, father?” Derrick said simply, trying to keep the venom out of his voice. He heard Sampson sigh.

“I don’t doubt your feelings towards that girl, I’m just congratulating you. Your affection for her couldn’t have come at a better time.”

“Affection? Sampson, I don’t purchase affection for anything. The ratings have gone up because of the truth in what she’s written. If it’s anything, she’s tipped the scale-“

“Son, don’t forget your promise to us.” Sampson dead-panned over the phone. Derrick fell silent, of course he remembered. He remembered not rejecting his part in their political agenda, and as long as he was with Cassadee, he was very much involved in it as well.

“Go on and have fun. I’ll see you at work,” said Sampson before he clicked the phone shut.

Derrick stared at his phone, suddenly more ashamed than angry. He should have said no when he had the chance, now he knew that Cassadee wouldn’t take to this lightly, but he didn’t want to ruin it yet. They were so early into recovery that it would be unfair to bring it up.

“Jared! Jared stop doing this,” came a deep voice across the hotel lobby. Derrick’s head snapped up and saw Jared angrily storming out of the wedding dinner- with Tobias calling after him?

“God dammit Tobias! Lay off,” yelled Jared, his suit unbuttoned. Derrick watched as Tobias clicked after him, grabbing his arm, only to have Jared shove him away roughly.

Derrick had never seen Jared this emotionally charged up before. And apparently, so did hotel receptionists, as they looked on curiously.

“What do you want from me?” yelled Tobias, his face an angry mould.

“I want you to stop pretending that there’s nothing going on!”

“There IS nothing going on Jared.”

Then Jared was silent, staring Tobias right in the eye. Derrick watched curiously, temporarily forgetting his emotions.

“Okay fine, there is something going on but-“

“What the hell?” Jared replied, his mouth an ugly snarl.

“Jared, you know I have a reason for this-“

“Yeah, yeah. Because your political future can’t be ruined by some gay faggot can it?” Jared spat, quietly now. Derrick watched as Tobias faltered, for a moment his gangly façade disappearing.

“Don’t say that Jared,” Tobias said, his voice barely a whisper. Jared literally stomped his feet in anger, and Derrick couldn’t help but snigger before reminding himself that it was wrong to laugh at other people’s drama.

“Well I can’t say anything much can I?” Jared said before turning away. Then before he could get any further, Tobias grabbed him back forcefully and they were kissing. Derrick watched both of them clash together roughly, so this was what Cassadee meant. It was weird, watching Jared in action- but a good kind of weird, even if Tobias wasn’t exactly Derrick’s favourite person in the world.

Derrick watched both of them pull apart, before Jared scowled again. The hotel lobby was deathly silent.

“I really like you okay? And I’m sorry I’ve been such a douche about it,” Tobias said, his face flushed. Then it was like Jared melted, and a smile blossomed onto his face.

“Thought you’d never say that Summers.”

Then the hotel lobby broke into polite applause.