Peter Pan.

Peter Pan.

Peter

Fucking

Pan.

Sometimes I wondered, 'Is this really all I'll ever amount to? A real-life fiction character working someplace aimed at children?'

Shit, I guess adults like coming here too. I see people obviously over eighteen with no kids come through here all the time. It must be nice, to be able to wander, doing whatever you damn well please and having no regrets. I'd kill to live a life like that. I'm eighteen years old, fresh out of highschool, and currently living in my parent's basement. I'm a bum. That hopeless kid who got out of school and immediately had no purpose or direction. This is the true definition of 'Alexander William Gaskarth'. A name so regal, so professional. You'd think it belongs to a banker, lawyer, anything other than a DisneyLand character.

But no, as much as I wish I had a decent job, a decent housing situation, and a decent boyfriend to take my mind off of my bullshit life story, in all honesty, I don't think I was ever going to get out of this rut. I'm just waiting on a secondhand pick-me-up. Entirely over getting older. If I could go back to highschool, force myself to try a little harder, focus a little more, maybe I wouldn't be here. Maybe, in a few years I could have found myself somewhere lying on a sunny beach somewhere, getting a nice tan, and a cute guy serving me all the drinks I wanted. But no, Alexander William Gaskarth had to work at DisneyLand.

"Alex, the fuck are you doing?"

"Hm?" I hummed, spinning around on my heel. Rian stands there, staring at me with wide eyes. "Do you need something?"

He looks completely bewildered. "Um, yes I fucking need something." Ugh, he's using that harsh tone I don't like. "I need you to get in that fucking costume and get out there! We need to be out in the Park in exactly fifteen minutes. You don't even have your tights on?! What the hell am I supposed to do with you?"

I sigh, running a hand loosely through my hair. "I'm sorry, Ri. Honestly, I am. I'm not...myself lately."

His expression softens, turning to a concerned one. "Alex, just because Matt left, doesn't mean he took a part of you with him. Its been two years, sweetheart. Time to let it go."

"I c-can't just 'let go', Rian. Things take time, energy. Both are things that I just don't have anymore." I look around my designated dressing area, looking for the pair of dark green tights that go under my man-dress.

"I know, its tough. Just don't give up, alright? Someone will come around and sweep you off your feet." He tells me. He sounds hopeful, happy. I knew he was trying to convince me, maybe he was lying, I don't know. But, no matter what, you listen to what Rian Dawson tells you. Because eleven out of ten times, he's absolutely right.

"You think so?" I look back up to him, a smile on my face now. Stupid, gullible Alex.

"I know so." He smiles back, showing me all of those perfect shiny white teeth. "Now c'mon, we only have twelve minutes till park opens."

I nod, pulling my green dress thing over my head, and pull it down my body, staring at my hair-coated legs in the mirror. That is sure as shit, not attractive. I'll have to remind myself to shave them when I get home.

I sighed. I'm so feminine lately. It was beginning to get on my nerves. Maybe that's why Matt left me. No one wants to deal with a whiny little bitch of a boyfriend. I complain about everything lately. Noticing every little detail, every imperfection...every single beautiful feature of everyone I met at the park.

Taking my tights in my fingertips, I tug them up my legs. Over my shins, knees, thighs, finally right over my dick and up to rest tightly around my waist. Fixing the rest of my costume, I slapped on my hat, not really caring about what my hair looked like. Unlike other Disney actors and actresses that worked here, my hair could be as messy as I liked. Literally, I could roll out of bed, slap my outfit on, and Boss wouldn't give a shit. Peter is a lost boy, someone who lives as a sort of hobo. He's supposed to be messy, wild. Like a young boy should be. There was no real order in Neverland.

"Do I look okay?" I ask Rian. He spins around, turning to face me. He has his Prince Eric costume on by now, black wig fitted perfectly and clothes non-creased and fit to perfection. Just as a Disney prince should be: Perfect. And Rian fits the bill.

"You look cute, as always, Alex." He smiles warmly, and walks over to me. He stops and reaches out to my hat.

"What are you doing?" I ask dumbly.

"Straightening this thing out," He mumbles, focusing on my hat. "It was all crooked and driving me crazy."

"Drama queen." I murmur under my breath.

"Hey!" He says, offended. "I just want my best friend to look totally perfect. I told you, you're going to meet someone today."

"Yeah, yeah," I mutter. "You've said that already."

"Well, how do I know if you were listening the first time?" He grins, dropping his hands back to his sides.

I slide past him and to the main door, resting my hand on the handle. "You're right. I wasn't listening the first time." I call sarcastically over my shoulder before tugging the door open and walking out into the park. Within a few steps of exiting the dressing rooms, my name is being called from behind me.

"Alex!"

"Hey!" They call again. "Hey, Alex!"

Fuck, who is it now? I spin around my heel to find none other than Austin Carlile awkwardly running towards me. Sometimes I felt bad. Those huge legs of his made it awfully hard to maneuver himself around.

"Hey, Aus." I half-smile. "What can I do for you?"

He raises his eyebrows. "Why is it you think people always want something from you?" Before I can shrug, he's speaking again. "Anywho, I just wanted to walk with you. After all, I am a lost boy."

I nod. "That is correct. And sure, you can."

"Awesome," He grins. "So, seen any cute boys yet?"

"I just got here."

"No shit, but we're already pretty close to AdventureLand." He defends.

"The park doesn't open for another twenty minutes." I grumble, pushing open the door to Austin and I's area, hoping things wouldn't become too stressful today.

"Someone's grumpy."

•••

We had been working for about four or five hours now, and thankfully, things had been fairly slow. Not too many kids, not too much noise. So far it had been a nice day.

There wasn't a cloud in the sky, and the sun was warming my skin and hair at the perfect temperature. I wasn't sweating, and I wasn't shivering. Genuinely perfect.

"Omigod, Alex!" Austin squeals, stepping closer to me, almost falling off of the ledge we were standing on. His voice was still fairly quiet, since there were quite a few crowds of people still around, and I wasn't Alex now. I was Peter. So other 'actors' rarely used my name during daylight hours. I figured this was important.

"Hm?" I ask. I turn my body to face him more, trying to look in the direction he was staring in. He looked like a little kid at...well, DisneyLand.

"Look at that boy!" He says, practically jumping out of his skin. Oh, great. A boy.

"Aus, this really isn't the time to be on the lookout for cute boys." I point out. Regardless, I try to direct my gaze in the direction he's pointing in.

"Shut up, Alex! He's so...ugh!" He groans, his hand wrapping around my wrist.

"I don't even see him..." I reply, looking around and ignoring the pain in my arm caused by his fingertips.

"Right..." He begins to move my head around and finally he whips it in one direction. "-There!"

I focus in on the people that I'm supposed to be staring at. I see a tall dark-haired girl. She's got very tan skin, but what's this? There's a hand in hers, one that looks almost translucent to hers. A ghostly white shade. My eyes roll up the extremely bony arm, to the shirt, (blink-182, very nice.) and finally to the face. Oh my fucking God. His face.

Does love at first sight even exist?

I couldn't take my eyes off of him until I had realized he was coming my way, so I was forced to look in a different direction.

"Be cool, okay?" I say to Austin, making sure he acknowledged me. I wasn't going to let him mess this up for me.