*** Love

The expression “Waking up on the wrong side of the bed” is the ultimate Catch Twenty-Two. Both sides of the bed are the wrong side of the bed. Especially on Mondays. Especially when you know it’s your last Monday before school starts and you get texts waking you up at an hour that should not be seen during summer.

I knew that once I opened my eyes I would officially be awake, so I kept them clenched tight as I reached for my phone on the nightstand and blindly turned it off to stop the ringing.

“Too goddamn early,” I grumbled from beneath my mountain of blankets. I had a very weird and specific ritual for going to bed every night: zero light, doors closed, fan on full blast, all of my blankets piled on me, and stark naked. It was comfortable and really handy in keeping people from barging in without so much as a knock.

I concentrated on slipping back into my sleep. All my muscles relaxed again and my breathing got slow and shallow. Just when I was on the brink of slumber, a sharp knock on my door resonated.

“Honeybee, your two friends keep calling me. Both of them,” my mother said as she opened the door cautiously.

“Tell them to fuck off.”

“Oh, your sister already has. They’re very persistent. You know them.” I heard her footsteps creak as she approached my bed. A hand brushed my forehead and I pulled my comforter over my head. “How about you wake up, huh? It’s ten o’clock.”

That’s the problem, I wanted to yell. But maybe if I kept up the act of ridiculously lethargic, my body would get caught up in the lie and I could still have a chance to sleep in a little.

Mom sat down on my bed. “I’m making chocolate chip pancakes and if you’re not downstairs then you’re not getting any.”

“Mooomm,” I whined loudly, finally sitting up. I was wrapped up in a cocoon of blankets. “I’m up.”

She grinned wickedly. “That’s what I thought. Go ahead and get dressed--and call back your friends, please.” She kissed the top of my head and retreated to the kitchen. I sighed and crawled out of bed. All I wanted was to slip into a coma and eat chocolate chip pancakes, but I guess I’ll have to settle for just the latter.

My concerns for fashion were little to nonexistent, so I just threw on some lightweight clothes before heading downstairs. Mom was still working on the pancakes and April and Josh were sitting at the table talking.

“Hey, lesbian,” April sneered when she saw me. She was my only sister, but if I had another she probably would have been my least favorite. I mean I loved her and all--but she was a hardcore bitch. And she was convinced I was a lesbian.

I grew tired of defending myself everyday, so I just joined them at the table and said nothing. Josh kicked my ankle. “Tell Weston to delete my number.”

April unpleasant frown deepened. “Alegra’s the one that needs to back off. Your friends are so annoying.”

“Like your friends are any better,” I retorted. “They just don’t want to hang out with you.”

Her nostrils flared. “For your information, I’m meeting Claire for--”

“I really don’t care,” I cut in.

“Hey, we love each other when we eat pancakes,” Mom said as she poured more batter.

“We’re not eating pancakes yet!” Josh grinned.

Mom laughed. “Fine. You have to act nice at the table, though. Morgan, did you call back Alegra and Weston?”

I picked up my fork and balanced it on my pointer finger. It fell and hit the table noisily. Josh rested his cheek in his palm and gave me a lazy glare. “Oops. No, I forgot. I turned my phone off. With any luck, they’ll probably take the hint and leave me alone for a day. Give me a break.”

“Don’t you wanna see your girlfriend?”

“Fuck off, April.”

“Morgan!”

“Sorry, Mom.”

She sighed and set a giant plate stacked tall with our delicious breakfast. “Don’t apologize to me, apologize to your sister.” We all reached for the pancakes at once, Josh grabbing almost twice as many as the the rest of us.

I cut my pancakes with angry vigor. “Sorry,” I grumbled. I snatched the syrup from Josh, who was too preoccupied with slathering his plate with butter to notice, and poured what had to be a seriously unhealthy amount on my plate.

April smiled maliciously. “Apology accepted.”

I ate slowly and watched her eat with a glare on my face. “Careful there, April. You’re already looking a little chunky.”

Her face reddened like a rip tomato. Oh, it was too easy. “Mom! Did you hear what she just said?” April wailed. “She’s calling me fat.”

Mom looked at April, who was so thin it was actually a little concerning, and raised her eyebrows. We’d all been through assuring her that she wasn’t the least bit overweight and it was safe to say that we were so done with the coddling. “I’m fat. You saying something’s wrong with me?”

I giggled. “Mama, you’re beautiful.”

She patted my hand from across the table and gave me a smile. “Thank you, honeybee.”

April opened her mouth for a snarky defense, but we were all caught a little off guard when the kitchen’s back door flew open without notice and my two best friends walked into our house completely uninvited. “Hello, Morgan,” Alegra said venomously. She gave me the stink eye and grabbed a chair by my brother. She was wearing a black bikini top with no cover, and if I knew her then it was just because she was trying to flaunt.

Weston gave my mom a hug before sitting down next to her. “Morning. We had to make sure Morgan was alive, Ms. Moore.”

“It’s so nice to see y’all. What’s it been, ten hours?” Mom teased. She adored Wes. I bet if he wasn’t so into guys, she would have swept him up and married him. I was almost certain she liked him more than she liked her own children.

Alegra scooted her chair closer to Josh and leaned into him. “Can I have a bite?” she purred, giving him what she referred to as the ‘sex look.’ I watched in mild disgust as he grinned and fed her like a toddler.

“Knocking would have been nice,” April hissed.

Wes looked at April and gave her a warm smile. Before we all knew he was gay, April used to be obsessed with him. I don’t know what it was that made him such high demand. It must have been his green eyes. They’d look great on anyone, but on Wes they were particularly exceptional against his deeply tanned skin. “Did you know April’s my favorite month?”

April flushed and averted her eyes back to her plate. I smirked I reached behind Mom’s back to punch his shoulder. “Leave my sister alone, creeper.”

“These are so good, Ms. Moore,” Alegra gushed. “I wish you were my mommy so you could make me breakfast.”

“I practically am,” Mom smiled. “Help yourselves.”

“You’re so good to us,” Wes said. He fixed himself a plate. He was even more generous with his serving size than Josh. It just wasn’t fair. At his rate, he should’ve been obese by now. Boys are dumb.

Alegra wiped the dab of chocolate on the corner of Josh’s mouth with her fingertip, catching him by obvious surprise, and licked it. “Mmm.” Josh cleared his throat and gave her a look that I did not want to see my brother be giving.

”Alegra!” I scolded. She was so forward. It was like being around a cat in heat. Josh obviously didn’t mind, but I found it thoroughly embarrassing and quite disturbing. “We should get going,” I said suddenly. Another second together and they’d probably rip their clothes off and do it on top of our pancakes. “Where are we going again?”

“I wanna stay,” Wes mumbled through a mouthful of food.

“I want, I want, I want,” I mocked. “What about what I want, Weston? Don’t I matter to you anymore?”

“Nope. Not when I’ve got April and Ms. Moore.” He shot me a wink.

“No love for Josh,” I joked.

“Oh, Josh can have all the love he wants,” Weston teased, wiggling his eyebrows and effectively making my brother uncomfortable. Wes and Mom laughed hysterically. Alegra worked to distract him again.

“Honestly, sweeties, y’all can call me Heather. All this ‘Ms. Moore’ crap makes me feel old,” my mom enthused and grabbed Wes’s hand casually. God, she was so weird around him. Wes didn’t even care. He loved the adoration.

“Morgan, why don’t you and your boyfriend go fondle around upstairs?” Josh suggested without taking his eyes off Alegra.

“Josh, you know she’s not into boys. Don’t be so dense,” April chimed in.

“We’ve seriously got to be going now,” I deadpanned.