Chasing Pavements

They didn’t make it out of the kitchen.

As soon as he was close enough, he lifted Violet onto the counter. Violet was staring impassively into Tom’s eyes, hands clutching his shirt at his shoulders. On the outside she looked calm and collected while on the inside she felt lightheaded and her stomach tightened in anticipation.

After that first night together she had thought that would be it. But here they were, Tom standing between her legs, his hot mouth tracing the edge of her jaw, his breathing quickening as she started to move against him.

Violet started a mantra in her head: This is just sex. This is just sex. But all thoughts were lost once Tom’s hands slipped under her shirt, fingers wrapping around her sides and moving upwards as he quickly removed her shirt.

She had thought that nothing would compare to that first time with Tom, but she had been so wrong. She had also believed that nothing further would come from that, and again, here she was with Tom between her legs and nothing between them and oh God, it was so great to be wrong.

The way they moved against each other, and the way Tom set Violet’s skin on fire with his touch was enough to drive all rational thoughts from her mind. All that existed in that moment was her and Tom.

Of course, once it was over and she was left suddenly cold and shivering on the counter, watching Tom walk away to grab a quick shower, reality set in and she was reminded that this is just sex.



They quickly fell into a routine, seeking each other out when one of them happened to be feeling particularly lonely, or having a bad day, or bored, or just feeling particularly lascivious.

Tom, ever courteous, would always check that Violet was still okay with their arrangement, and Violet didn’t think she would ever be strong enough to actually deny him. She was determined to enjoy this for as long as it continued.

Secretly, some evenings after Tom had left her bed and she was steadily heading towards sleep, she would imagine that Tom was developing feelings for her and that one day he would admit it to her. She’d fall asleep with a smile on her face, but in the morning cold reality would always hit her just a little bit harder.

She knew what she had gotten herself into and she also knew it was up to her to keep it under control if she wanted this to last. This new level of their relationship was by no means healthy for her, but that just wasn’t something Violet was ready to accept.

She was so acutely aware of how toxic this relationship was becoming for her every time she was somewhere with Tom and she caught him staring at another girl or flirting with someone at a party who was infinitely better looking than she was. Jealousy would flow through her veins in a way she had never experienced before.

She almost hated the way she reacted now. This jealous part of her that was beginning to rear its ugly head was a part of her she had never thought that she had. And despite the beginnings of self loathing growing within her caused by these sudden feelings of jealousy and rage, she couldn’t help but smile triumphantly at the ceiling when Tom went home with her and fucked her into his mattress.



Violet knew she wouldn’t always be victorious when it came to Tom, though.

They were at a party about a month after this had all begun when Violet saw the possibility of this all ending for her. She had been chatting with a few people she knew from one of her classes when she spotted Tom talking to none other than Sophie.

She immediately felt the blood rushing in her ears which she had come to recognize as her jealousy. In an attempt to regain some control, she took a few deep breaths, trying to focus on what the people around her were talking about.

Nothing is going to happen with them, she reassured herself. Sophie cheated on him. He wouldn’t go back to her.

“The class is such bullshit,” Tara, one of the girls in her class, was saying. “All the professor does is read off the power point. I’m not paying for something I could easily just do on my own.”

Violet nodded her head, trying so hard to focus and show that she was listening, but it was becoming increasingly hard to do so, when Sophie seemed to be moving closer and closer to Tom. She envisioned herself going over there and throwing her fist right in Sophie’s smug little face, imagining the satisfactory feeling it might bring her.

Violet sighed and shut her eyes momentarily, trying to calm herself. She had never felt this strongly about actually harming someone—it was such a sure sign of how her jealousy was getting out of hand. What if she ever acted on these impulses? Of course, she also figured hurting Sophie in some way wasn’t such a bad idea. Sophie had cheated on Tom, after all. She had it coming.

As soon as she thought it, Violet wished she could take it back. It wasn’t up to her to get some kind of petty revenge on Tom. He could take care of himself. He was smart.

But then, why was Tom following her upstairs?

The jealous rage returned and she excused herself from her classmates, making a bee line for the kitchen. She needed to get her shit together. She wasn’t with Tom. They could do whatever they wanted, and if what they wanted was to hook up on cheating exes, so be it.

Violet poured herself a shot and quickly threw it back, promptly pouring herself another.

“Woah, easy with the shots there.”

Violet turned and glared at Kyle who had somehow managed to find her and took the second shot, savoring the burn of the liquor as she swallowed it. He smiled and grabbed another shot glass and set it next to the one she was using.

“I was just kidding,” he said, laughing. “Pour me one?”

She filled their shot glasses and they each picked up their own, clicking the glasses together carefully before downing their contents. Kyle made a face and set the glass on the counter between them.

“So, is there a reason you just took three shots right in a row?” he asked, picking up the bottle to refill his own glass.

“I had the sudden urge to get incredibly intoxicated,” Violet replied, taking the bottle out of his hands to refill her shot glass as well.

“Well, you came to the right place,” Kyle said, holding up the shot glass. They took their shots and Violet’s head was starting to swim as the alcohol took effect. “So, tell me. Is there a reason why you never called me?”

Violet shrugged.

“I’ve been busy.”

“If you say so,” he said, smiling at her. “I’m sure you’ll be calling me before you know. There’s something between us. I can feel it.”

“You sound so sure,” Violet said, laughing, Tom temporarily forgotten.

“Oh, I am,” he replied. Violet swayed slightly and set a hand on the counter to steady herself.

“I shouldn’t have taken all those shots,” she said, pushing the liquor bottle away from her.

“Ah, that’s the thing about mistakes,” Kyle said, smiling. “You don’t realize it’s a mistake until it’s too late.”



Tom found Violet in a dark corner of the living room, sandwiched between the wall and Kyle. Her arms were wrapped around his neck, their hips pressed seamlessly together, and Kyle’s lips by her ear. She laughed at something he said before noticing Tom watching.

He recognized the dark look in her eyes and wondered if maybe he should just leave them alone. She pushed Kyle away gently, whispering something to him. He turned to look at Tom for a moment before turning back to Violet. He kissed her quickly before she was heading towards Tom…Well, more like stumbling.

Tom caught her around the waist before she fell and led her outside to the waiting taxi he had called for.

Once they were inside and Tom had given the address to the driver, Violet spoke to him.

“How’s Sophie?” she slurred. Tom sighed.

“How much have you had to drink?” he countered.

“Enough. Did you manage to get your dick wet this evening?”

“Violet, don’t be so crass,” Tom replied, a hard edge to his voice.

They were quiet for a little while before Tom finally sighed, breaking the silence.

“I didn’t sleep with Sophie, if that’s what you’re thinking,” he said. “We just talked. Besides, it shouldn’t matter what I’m doing with other girls.”

“I know,” Violet said quietly after a moment. “I’m sorry.”

Tom wrapped his arm around Violet’s shoulders and pulled her closer to his side before placing a soft kiss to the top of her head.

“Don’t worry about it.”

Violet fell asleep just before they reached their apartment.