I Need You Like Water In My Lungs
1
Justine Jones
29
Recovering alcoholic/pill popper.
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How did I end up in this situation that I'm in, losing everyone I know because of drunken fits of rage. Not remembering anything past 5:00 pm on a daily basis. Hell I don't even know, but here I am. In a hospital bed, danderously close to needing a new liver. Choices truly suck, especially when you make the wrong ones. I could be easier on myself if I just blamed someone. But he got better, and left me here to man this disease on my own.
I look around the dry and bright hospital room, it reeked of piss and 409. Making the contents of my stomach want exert themselves with force through my throat and exit finally out of my mouth.
"Hold it there Miss Calier, here you go." a voice said that I truly recognized, and hated at the same time. But I'd rather spew vile insults at him instead of bile from my stomach.
"What are you doing here?" I asked him wiping my mouth tiredly
"I heard you decided to get better." he sighed.
I just blankly stared at him for a few minutes realizing I didn't decide, but fate did. I would've never even been in this position if wasn't for him and his friends.
"Please leave." I muttered as I turned over in my bed
"What? Ju-"
"Get out." I stated simply reaching for the nurses button.
I heard the door open and close, and I let my hand fall limp off the side of the bed. This isn't my fault, it's his. I mentaly repeated this many times before I decided that I would get better. And maybe that's what he wants, for me to get better without him. And then maybe we could be happy. Alright, I'll do that, I'll get better without him. Except I'm going to leave out the happy part together part. If I can do this by myself, then I don't need him.
I'm still blaming him though, for all my pain and heart ache.
"Breakfast, I know your not hungry. But this you must eat." the nurse said as I rolled over in my bed with a half smile. This is officially my first day in my mission to become sober, drug free, and heart broken no more.
"I'll try." I said straining to sit up.
"Now that's what I like to hear." she smiled at me with understanding.