I Need You Like Water In My Lungs
4
I was sitting in a booth with Adam, basically dreading what ever was about to happen. Because I'd worked too hard for now to be destoryed. And when I say now I mean my sobriety.
"Chill out JJ, he just wants to talk." Adam said seeing my distress
"Well I don't want to talk to him." I said looking absently out the diner window
"Why the hell not?" he asked chewing on a ice cube
"Because."
"Well will it make you feel better if I talk to him for you?" Adam said joking, but I took it seriously.
"Yes." I said facing him again, he raised an eyebrow at me.
"You do know that I've got to get home soon." Adam sighed shaking his head at me.
"How is that going anyway."
"Wedding plans totaly suck, I sometimes wish we could just way we were married and be done with it. But whatever makes Chantelle happy." he said seeming to spot Gerard. I scooted over to where he couldn't sit with me on my side of the booth, thankfuly he didn't even try. He just went straight to Adam's side and sat, with his hands in his jacket pockets.
"I'm your translator."
"You're kidding me." Gerard said with a sigh shaking his head at me. Adam seemed to make him realize that this was the only way he would get anything from me at all.
"Why won't you talk to me Justine?" Gerard said looking at me then I looked to Adam.
"She doesn't want to talk to you because, she's moved on. And-" he looked at me and I nodded "She doesn't want to go back to where she started from." Adam said with a satisfied sigh.
"I've changed too Justine. I don't drink anymore." he said still looking at me I looked at Adam.
"Neither does she, and she wishes to keep it that way." Adam said looking at me.
"And I'm the cause." Gerard said to himself, he sat there for a few minutes then got up. "When you stop blaming me Justine, I'll be waiting." he said over his shoulder. I sighed, some how starting to think that maybe this was a mistake. Then again, so was ever getting involved with him.
---------------------------------------------------------------
I sat at my window seat in my living room. Saturdays used to be fun for me, but now this is normally all I did. Or some form of work, that needed to be done by Monday. My phone started to ring, I looked the phone in it's cradle and saw that it was Mandy. News of how lunch went should've reached her by now, if she wasn't my friend I wouldn't have answered it.
"Hello."
"Justine, what is your problem?" Mandy said through gritted teeth
"I don't even-" I started.
"If Adam or fame doesn't drive Gerard to drinking again. You will, goddamnit Justine! He's misrible." she said making me fully realize that the way today had went was indeed a mistake.
"What am I supposed to do?" I sighed
"Fucking call him, talk to him without Adam as a damn translator. Write him a letter, something Justine! You can't go on ignoring him, and blaming him for something you went into with all the facts in the first place." she said reminding me of somethings that couldn't be forgotten no matter how drunk or high I was when they happened. Maybe if I told her she'd understand, she'd understand how I ended up in that hospital. How someone-
"I gotta go." I choked out before hanging up. Feeling as though the air was being pressed out of my lungs.
'You're so pretty.' he slurred. His shadowed figure and my alcohol induced state prevented me from seeing if he was smiling or looking at me angrily.
'Please Ger-' I was cut off by a hard punch to my face
'Shut up,' he growled I blacked out then. Waking to rain pelting my body, and pain wracking it.
I snapped out of my thoughts thankfuly but tears were still streaming down my face. Memories are horrible sons of bitches, no matter how distorted and chopped up they are. But because of this memory, I know why I can't talk to Gerard or let him back into my life regardless.
"Chill out JJ, he just wants to talk." Adam said seeing my distress
"Well I don't want to talk to him." I said looking absently out the diner window
"Why the hell not?" he asked chewing on a ice cube
"Because."
"Well will it make you feel better if I talk to him for you?" Adam said joking, but I took it seriously.
"Yes." I said facing him again, he raised an eyebrow at me.
"You do know that I've got to get home soon." Adam sighed shaking his head at me.
"How is that going anyway."
"Wedding plans totaly suck, I sometimes wish we could just way we were married and be done with it. But whatever makes Chantelle happy." he said seeming to spot Gerard. I scooted over to where he couldn't sit with me on my side of the booth, thankfuly he didn't even try. He just went straight to Adam's side and sat, with his hands in his jacket pockets.
"I'm your translator."
"You're kidding me." Gerard said with a sigh shaking his head at me. Adam seemed to make him realize that this was the only way he would get anything from me at all.
"Why won't you talk to me Justine?" Gerard said looking at me then I looked to Adam.
"She doesn't want to talk to you because, she's moved on. And-" he looked at me and I nodded "She doesn't want to go back to where she started from." Adam said with a satisfied sigh.
"I've changed too Justine. I don't drink anymore." he said still looking at me I looked at Adam.
"Neither does she, and she wishes to keep it that way." Adam said looking at me.
"And I'm the cause." Gerard said to himself, he sat there for a few minutes then got up. "When you stop blaming me Justine, I'll be waiting." he said over his shoulder. I sighed, some how starting to think that maybe this was a mistake. Then again, so was ever getting involved with him.
---------------------------------------------------------------
I sat at my window seat in my living room. Saturdays used to be fun for me, but now this is normally all I did. Or some form of work, that needed to be done by Monday. My phone started to ring, I looked the phone in it's cradle and saw that it was Mandy. News of how lunch went should've reached her by now, if she wasn't my friend I wouldn't have answered it.
"Hello."
"Justine, what is your problem?" Mandy said through gritted teeth
"I don't even-" I started.
"If Adam or fame doesn't drive Gerard to drinking again. You will, goddamnit Justine! He's misrible." she said making me fully realize that the way today had went was indeed a mistake.
"What am I supposed to do?" I sighed
"Fucking call him, talk to him without Adam as a damn translator. Write him a letter, something Justine! You can't go on ignoring him, and blaming him for something you went into with all the facts in the first place." she said reminding me of somethings that couldn't be forgotten no matter how drunk or high I was when they happened. Maybe if I told her she'd understand, she'd understand how I ended up in that hospital. How someone-
"I gotta go." I choked out before hanging up. Feeling as though the air was being pressed out of my lungs.
'You're so pretty.' he slurred. His shadowed figure and my alcohol induced state prevented me from seeing if he was smiling or looking at me angrily.
'Please Ger-' I was cut off by a hard punch to my face
'Shut up,' he growled I blacked out then. Waking to rain pelting my body, and pain wracking it.
I snapped out of my thoughts thankfuly but tears were still streaming down my face. Memories are horrible sons of bitches, no matter how distorted and chopped up they are. But because of this memory, I know why I can't talk to Gerard or let him back into my life regardless.