Finding Home

I wasn't surprised as much as I was angry when Lindsay called to tell me she and my parents would be running late. Typical Mom and Dad. They had been stressing the importance of being together as a family, yet here (or in this case, not here) they were, making me wait for them alone on a bench inside the Edmonton International Airport. I put my phone back in my bag, zipped it closed, and leaned back against the hard bench, allowing my head to rest against the cool wall. I turned up my music, allowing Drake to tune out the strange accents I was hearing all around me. I closed my eyes to the hustle and bustle. But I hadn’t been able to ignore the fact that this airport was unparalleled to the one I had flown out of just hours before; it was ten times nicer and surprisingly cheerful. I hated to admit this fact to myself, and there was no way I ever would to anyone. Not to my friends I was forced to leave behind in Boston, and especially not to my parents, who had forced me to move to Canada. Canada. We hadn't just moved out of state; we had legitimately packed up and moved to a whole 'nother country. And I was not happy – to at all. I had been in a bad mood ever since my father first announced that we were moving back in May, and I had begged my parents to let me stay and finish my senior year in Boston. I suggested every compromise possible: renting my own apartment near school, staying with friends, simply not moving to Edmonton.

"Edmonton? Edmonton! What the hell is in Edmonton?" I yelled over dinner, my chair sliding back as I stood up in defiance. We couldn't be moving to Edmonton; I was not moving to Edmonton!

"Tess, please sit down." It was not a suggestion.

I glared at my dad, and as angry as I was, I knew the situation would only get worse if I defied him.

I pulled the chair back to the table and sat down. I wanted answers and I wanted them now. Why were we moving? When were we moving? Were we all moving? Did we all have to move?

"Tassiana," my father started, addressing me by my full name, “There's been a change in my company's management. We were bought out by a Canadian company."

"What does that have to do with us? Why do we have to move?" I looked around the table from my mom's face to my sister's. My mom was playing with the food on her plate, poking at her chicken. But Lindsay was the complete opposite.

"Ohmygod where's Edmintin?" she asked our dad, eyes wide with excitement.

"It's Edmonton you idiot," I snapped.

Both my parents chose to ignore my outburst, and my dad continued: "Linds, it’s pronounced Ed-mon-ton, and it's the capital of Alberta. In Canada." His specification didn't matter; she had no idea where the hell we were going. She hadn’t quite made the connection between the Edmonton Oilers and Edmonton, Alberta being an actual place. "They need someone from the states who’s often traveled to Canada for business. And I happened to be that guy. As for when, we're moving as soon as you and your sister finish school. As a family."

I didn't like the emphasis at the end. "No. No. No, we can't be..." I felt like I was going to throw up. "You move, take Lindsay and Mom with you, I don’t care, but I'm not moving."

My mom finally looked up from her plate. She reached for my hand but I pulled back. How could she betray me like this? She knew how happy I was here! I loved Boston! All my friends lived in the city. We spent every free minute downtown, usually at the TD Bank Garden. My friends and I cheered, bled, and cried for our home teams. We had tickets for tomorrow night's Bruins game! Just like we had last night. And the night before. My ticket from the Celtics' playoff loss in Game Seven a few weeks ago was still in my wallet, along with my Red Sox ticket for the upcoming Saturday night game. Boston was the only home I had ever known and the only home I ever wanted to know. Everyone knew I had my heart set on Harvard, but any Boston college would do. I may not have yet been a Crimsonite or an Eagle, but my friends and I knew where to find Tyler Seguin besides the BC campus. We had the pictures to prove it.

"Tessie, you'll love Edmonton. And you can still stay in touch with your friends here." She gave me a weak smile but this was entirely out of her control. Well, almost. She could have offered to stay here with me in Boston and let me graduate, but she wasn't even considering that.

"I hate you guys,” I said weakly, my voice cracking. I sprinted to my room, slamming the door and flinging myself onto my bed. Alone for the first time since receiving the horrible news, I burst out crying. Shaking so violently my bed shook too, I cried until I was out of tears, drifting into a deep sleep.

My phone vibrating brought me back to reality. It was Lindsay, calling to let me know they had arrived and were driving up to my gate. I reached under the bench and pulled out my bag from where I had been hiding it. I slung my carry-on over my shoulder. I grabbed a hold of my wheeling suitcase and did a quick check-over, looking for anything that may have fallen out of one of my three bags. The last thing I wanted was to begin my new life in Edmonton by leaving behind one of my American belongings in the airport.

I made my way outside to wait. I was surprised by how warm it was. It wasn’t warm warm, but it was definitely warmer than I thought it would be. Okay, so maybe I thought it was always freezing here. I guess they don’t ride snowmobiles around all year, I thought to myself. Just then, a black Tahoe pulled over and my mom jumped out of the passenger side, running over and throwing her arms around me.

“Tess!” she squealed. “Oh we’ve missed you so much!”

“I’ve missed you too Mom,” I said, hugging her back, burying me face in her neck. I wasn’t lying; I had missed my family. I hadn’t seen them since the second week of June and it was now July tenth.

Speaking of July tenth, today should have been my day. My friends should have seen me off from the airport, tears in their eyes, begging me not to leave. At least, that’s what they promised they would do when I first told them that I was moving. Instead, only Sophie had accompanied me to the airport. Everyone else had decided to get together and watch the Tyler Seguin-Dallas Stars press conference live. Wasn’t I essentially being traded too?

I tried to push the memory from my mind as my mom released me from her mother-bear hug and took a step back to look at me, hands on my shoulders. She eyed me from head to toe, as if checking to make sure I wasn’t hiding a tattoo or pregnancy. Not that there was any way I would have gotten either while in the few weeks we had been living apart.

“Oh honey, you’re going to love it here! Edmonton is beautiful!” she exclaimed while helping me load my luggage in car. Slamming the trunk closed, we got into the SUV.

“Tessie!” Lindsay tackled me as soon as my door was closed. “Ohmygod I have so much to tell you!” she exclaimed, talking a mile-a-minute.

“Missed me?” I playfully inquired. Unlike most of my friends, I had a pretty good relationship with my sibling. Lindsay was eleven, seven years younger than me. But she was mature beyond her years, which helped us get along. But she also loved hockey. No, love is an understatement. She adored hockey; she lived for it. She had learned how to skate around the same time she learned how to walk, and got into hockey shortly after. She was a natural on the ice. Not only was she a skilled hockey player, but she was also an amazing teammate. Lindsay was selfless, punctual, dedicated, reliable. She had passion for the game and ice in her veins. This love for hockey and desire to get better was one of the main reasons our dad accepted the job offer. Lindsay was the best player on her team in Boston and our parents wanted her to have access to the best coaches available. They hoped that she would improve and flourish under the coaches in Edmonton. To me it sounded like a lot of pressure, but Lindsay assured me (and our parents) that this is what she wanted: she didn’t want to be the best player on her team, but she hoped one day she could be. Making, much less playing on the Edmonton Pee Wee team would not be easy and would require a lot of hard work, but I had not doubt Lindsay would make the team. Her desire to improve astounded me and I truly hoped playing in Canada would boost her confidence as a player and help her excel.

“Hey Tess.” My dad turned around in his seat to greet me with a smile. I love my dad, don’t get me wrong, and I was no longer mad at him for moving us to Edmonton, but something had definitely changed. I no longer felt like I could trust him entirely, probably because of the way he had informed my sister and I about the move. Subconsciously I knew I was still upset by the forceful, demanding way he had decided to tell us without asking us, particularly me, how we felt about moving. I liked to tell myself that if he had told us in a different, gentler way, I would have been fine (or at least more) with the move, but I would never know for sure…

“How was your flight?”

“Hey Dad,” I replied with a somewhat forced smile. “It was nice.”

We stared at each other, neither one of us wanting to be the first to look away, until my mother suggested leaving the airport and driving home to show Tessie the new house.

Finally breaking the stare, my dad turned around in his seat and started the car.

And we were off.

I looked back at the airport. “See you in six months,” I whispered under my breath.

We got back onto the highway and drove in silence for a while until Linds nudged me.
“Tess, will you take me to an Oilers’ game?” We were approaching a billboard promoting their upcoming season. Immersed in my thoughts, I wouldn’t have noticed it. In the picture, Nuge, Hallsy, and Ebs were all leaning against each other, smiling like a couple of frat brothers. Nuge had a devilish look in his eyes, Hall’s grin took up his entire face, and Ebs looked high as a kite.

“Sure,” I said nonchalantly, “I guess that could be fun.”