Bathtub Tomfoolery
Chapter One
Phil Anselmo looked around the boring hotel room. He threw his bag onto the plain bed and jumped on it.
" This place if fucking horrible man." He said jumping up and down like a five year old. Dimebag Darrell dragged his suitcase into the room.
" Oh for fucks sake you're right... God dammit this place sucks. But on the other hand, dry-walls!" Darrell chuckled as he started to box the wall.
" Left hook right hook left hook right hook." Darrell dodged the non existent opponents punches. He miss calculated his punch and went right through the wall. He fell straight into the wall, face planting it. Phil began to laugh hysterically.
" You fucking idiot! HA!" he laughed so hard he went unbalanced and fell off the bed, still giggling.
" Wow are you OK Phil?" Darrell scuffed to his friend on his knees.
" Of course I am. Ha ha. That was funny." Phil leaned back up, and climbed back onto the bed. Darrell followed and climbed over Phil and lay on him.
" You're so comfy ha ha!"
" Get off me tubs!" Phil wrestled his friend off himself. Darrell grinned and giggled. he got up and stopped.
" Er Phil." He stroked his pink beard.
" What?" Phil said as he looked out the balcony window, checking out the view.
"... There is one bed in here. And there is two of us. If my maths is correct, we have a problem."
Phil turned round to see if Darrell was right. He was.
" Well. I need the bed." Phil crossed his arms.
" Wow wow wow, why do YOU need the bed?" Darrell narrowed his eyes.
" I have the bad back, that's why." He stuck out his tongue at Darrell.
" Aw man but... Fine have the bed. But as long as I can sleep at the bottom of it, that's fine."
" No man, I gotta stretch my legs or I'll get a cramp," Phil said sitting on the bed. " I really don't wanna put up with a cramp on this fucking tour dude." Darrell huffed and jumped off the bed. He looked upset, but Phil knew he couldn't let him win. He really didn't want a cramp or a knot in his back.
Darrell began to look around his hotel room. They had a mini bar and a small kitchen area. 'Quite fancy for a piece of shit' He thought looking in the cupboards for any food. Phil had a look into the built in wardrobe. Nothing excited him and he closed it and walked aver to the other door. It was a bathroom, with a full size bath.
" Wow man you could sleep in the bath!" Phil turned to his friend with a big smile.
" Oh fucking YES!" Darrell jumped with a child's glee in his eyes.
" I fuckin' love baths, man." he looked into the bathroom and smiled.
" Alright. I'm in there for the nights. If you dare come in and shit in front of my beautiful sleeping body, I'll kill you." He pattered Phil on the shoulder.
" Deal. I'll do it while you're awake." Phil smiled. Darrell hit him.
" We going the bar then." Darrell questioned.
" Yeah why not. Anything is better than this shithole."
" This place if fucking horrible man." He said jumping up and down like a five year old. Dimebag Darrell dragged his suitcase into the room.
" Oh for fucks sake you're right... God dammit this place sucks. But on the other hand, dry-walls!" Darrell chuckled as he started to box the wall.
" Left hook right hook left hook right hook." Darrell dodged the non existent opponents punches. He miss calculated his punch and went right through the wall. He fell straight into the wall, face planting it. Phil began to laugh hysterically.
" You fucking idiot! HA!" he laughed so hard he went unbalanced and fell off the bed, still giggling.
" Wow are you OK Phil?" Darrell scuffed to his friend on his knees.
" Of course I am. Ha ha. That was funny." Phil leaned back up, and climbed back onto the bed. Darrell followed and climbed over Phil and lay on him.
" You're so comfy ha ha!"
" Get off me tubs!" Phil wrestled his friend off himself. Darrell grinned and giggled. he got up and stopped.
" Er Phil." He stroked his pink beard.
" What?" Phil said as he looked out the balcony window, checking out the view.
"... There is one bed in here. And there is two of us. If my maths is correct, we have a problem."
Phil turned round to see if Darrell was right. He was.
" Well. I need the bed." Phil crossed his arms.
" Wow wow wow, why do YOU need the bed?" Darrell narrowed his eyes.
" I have the bad back, that's why." He stuck out his tongue at Darrell.
" Aw man but... Fine have the bed. But as long as I can sleep at the bottom of it, that's fine."
" No man, I gotta stretch my legs or I'll get a cramp," Phil said sitting on the bed. " I really don't wanna put up with a cramp on this fucking tour dude." Darrell huffed and jumped off the bed. He looked upset, but Phil knew he couldn't let him win. He really didn't want a cramp or a knot in his back.
Darrell began to look around his hotel room. They had a mini bar and a small kitchen area. 'Quite fancy for a piece of shit' He thought looking in the cupboards for any food. Phil had a look into the built in wardrobe. Nothing excited him and he closed it and walked aver to the other door. It was a bathroom, with a full size bath.
" Wow man you could sleep in the bath!" Phil turned to his friend with a big smile.
" Oh fucking YES!" Darrell jumped with a child's glee in his eyes.
" I fuckin' love baths, man." he looked into the bathroom and smiled.
" Alright. I'm in there for the nights. If you dare come in and shit in front of my beautiful sleeping body, I'll kill you." He pattered Phil on the shoulder.
" Deal. I'll do it while you're awake." Phil smiled. Darrell hit him.
" We going the bar then." Darrell questioned.
" Yeah why not. Anything is better than this shithole."