The Only Gift

Frank lay awake in bed, sighing softly to himself. It was nearing 3:30 in the morning, and he simply couldn’t sleep for more than half hour interval at a time. Gerard would be home from work any minute, and even though he had to be awake in just a few hours to go off to work, he had trained himself to wake up just in time for his arrival.

But as the clock ticked on to travel off to just after four, Frank couldn’t help but frown. It was taking Gerard longer than usual to get home, and he couldn’t help but feel disappointed yet again. Gerard would sometimes go off with his work pals after their overnight shift at the appliance and hardware superstore would end, and Frank had to do his very best to not get so upset when Gerard would do this. Gerard worked hard, unloading trucks and restocking items as small as nails, to buckets of paint, to porcelain bath tubs and refrigerators. He had made several friends that worked there, and they banded together and went out to the local pub after work to unwind.

Frank knew that he had nothing to worry about, Gerard was simply out having a drink ‘with the guys’. These guys all had wives or girlfriends, and they knew that Gerard was more than happy with his boyfriend of the last year. They never gave him shit for his choice in lifestyle, which was something that Frank was genuinely happy for. But since Gerard’s job requires him to work overnight, sometimes til 3AM or 6AM, he barely had any time to spend with his boyfriend, and this was really beginning to take a huge toll on their relationship.

Frank works two jobs, one at the local rescue center for animals, and then doubles as a volunteer at the children’s hospital. His heart is so gigantic and full of hope and love, and that is what Gerard loves the most about him. Frank works sixty, and sometimes seventy hours a week, donating most of his time for free, simply to care for the animals or to volunteer his time to spreading cheer to the many children that are unfortunately patients in the hospital that he works at. His paychecks are small because most of the time he is working off the clock or for free, but Gerard never faults him for this or belittles him for it. Gerard makes more than enough money as an overnight manager at his job, and whatever money Frank does make, they pull it together and make their little apartment that they moved in to just a few months previously into a cozy little home.

Frank smiled happily as he thought he heard the key in the lock, and did his best to appear as cutely as he could in the king sized bed that he and Gerard shared. He could hear the front door opening; or so he thought, and lay there in the dark listening for a few more minutes, but frowned as Gerard had yet to make his appearance known. Frank willed himself to get out of their warm bed and braved their chilly apartment, tugging on his Jack Skellington robe, and padded his way into the living room.

His frown grew larger as he flicked on the light and realized that there was no sign of Gerard anywhere. The front door was locked, and Gerard’s Doc Martens weren’t by the front door where he would normally leave them. Frank tried not to let his disappointment show too much, but at this moment, he really, really misses his boyfriend, and simply wants him home with him so they can snuggle for a little while before Frank has to head off to work.

Feeling defeated, he flicked off the light, and made quick work of shedding his robe and got back under his covers. He pulled the Spongebob plush that Gerard had given him for his birthday close to him, cuddling the small stuffed animal, and shut his eyes before he could allow the tears that he felt building to fall.

+++

Frank’s frown grew exponentially as the alarm on his phone began to go off. He reached for the small device and set it so that he could snooze, and let out a groan as he realized that Gerard was still not in bed next to him. He checked his phone for new messages from him, and tossed it angrily aside as he realized that Gerard hadn’t texted him to let him know why he was still nowhere to be found.

As he shut his eyes yet again, he heard movement coming from the living room, and couldn’t help but smile as he realized Gerard may be home, after all. Sure, he was aggravated that he hadn’t come to say hello to him when he had gotten home, but all the same, he was just so happy to see him. He slid his Batman slippers on his feet and tugged his robe on once again, before hurrying into the living room.

His eyes nearly fell out of his head when he saw what it was that Gerard had been busying himself with. He felt his heart swell with absolute happiness and excitement as his eyes fell upon the six feet tall Christmas tree that Gerard was setting up in the corner of their small apartment. Gerard’s back was turned to Frank as he struggled with hanging the lights, and Frank could barely contain his excitement for a second longer.

“It’s a fucking tree!” He exclaimed, which caused his boyfriend to turn around and meet his gaze with a saddened expression.

“Frankie, baby, I’m so sorry!” Gerard began to speak, stepping down from the chair that he had been using for leverage to reach the top of the tree, and hurried over to his boyfriend.

A confused expression overtook Frank’s face then, though his obvious joy was still the most prominent feature on his attractive face. “For what, sweetheart?” He asked, as Gerard wrapped his arms tightly around him.

“I wanted to get it set up completely before you woke up,” Gerard muttered shyly, as a cute blush kissed either of his cheeks. “I wanted to surprise you, and... I fucking ruined it because you’re awake, and it’s hardy finished-”

Frank shut his boyfriend up the only way he knew how to, by pressing a soft, though passionate kiss to his beloved’s lips. Gerard sighed softly amongst those lips that he loves so much, as his hands reached up to gently cradle either side of Frank’s face.

“I just wanted it to be perfect for you,” Gerard murmured amongst Frank’s lips, as an obvious frown still lingered on his face. “I’m sorry I didn’t get it finished before you woke up-”

“Gerard!” Frank cut him off then, before pressing a string of adoring kisses all over his boyfriend’s gorgeous face. “Sweetheart, it’s fucking perfect. It’s a fucking Christmas tree! I fucking love it so much!”

Frank then proceeded to give Gerard one of the biggest hugs that he has ever given him, smiling softly into the crook of his lover’s neck. Gerard let out a shaky sigh as he allowed himself to relax into Frank’s warm embrace, and couldn’t help but grin widely as he pressed a gentle kiss to the side of Frank’s face.

“I’m so glad you like it, sugar,” Gerard beamed, as the realization hit him that he was being overly silly about Frank walking in and seeing his surprise before it was finished. Of course the surprise was perfect to Frank. Frank was genuinely the most amazing and caring person in the world, which is why Gerard wanted Frank’s surprise to be just perfect. What Gerard failed to realize is that even if it were a small tree like the one in Charlie Brown, it would still be perfect, because it came from Gerard.

“I was so afraid that I’d woken you up earlier,” Gerard spoke then, which caused Frank to come out of his hiding spot within Gerard’s soft, sweet skin.

“Earlier?” Frank questioned, as Gerard nodded.

“Yeah,” he blushed, as his eyes met softly with Frank’s. “Once I bought the tree, I realized I was kind of fucked because I had no idea how to get the damn thing home,” he continued, laughing at the memory.

“Oh yeah,” Frank nodded, smiling at his wonderful his boyfriend always was to him. “Your car is so small, how did you manage to get it here?”

Gerard pressed a kiss to Frank‘s lips then, unable to help himself from that amazing feeling once again. “When I got off of work, I was outside of the store with Bob smoking a cigarette, and he realized my predicament and offered to help me bring the tree home. We loaded it in his truck and he helped me carry it up here. I shoved the tree in the closet when I came home earlier, and then took him out for a beer for helping,” he explained, to which Frank couldn’t help but feel a little guilty for feeling so neglected earlier that morning.

“So you had come home earlier?” Frank asked, still in Gerard’s embrace. Gerard nodded.

“I did wake up. I was so confused because I swore I heard you come home, but you weren’t there,” he admitted, trying not to let the fact that it had bothered him show.

“I’m so sorry, Frankie,” Gerard sighed, kissing Frank softly once again. “I know you like it when I come home right after work, and I did. But I felt like I owed Bob a drink for helping, I wasn’t out for very long.”

Gerard was now looking down at the ground, and Frank felt his heart melt as Gerard said those words to him. “It’s okay, baby,” Frank spoke softly, as he gently lifted Gerard’s chin up so their gaze could meet once again. “I completely understand, thank you so much for my surprise. It’s so beyond perfect, I can’t even begin to explain how perfect it is.”

Gerard beamed once again, before capturing Frank’s lips once again with his own. “You are perfect,” he breathed out, as their lips continued to collide softly with one another. “I love you, my Frankie. Merry early Christmas, baby.”

“It’s the best Christmas gift ever. Merry early Christmas, my love,” Frank murmured happily, meaning his words completely as their lips met once again. Their happy moment was then ruined as Frank heard his alarm going off in their bedroom once again, and he groaned immediately in disapproval. “Don’t wanna...”

Gerard kissed the frown on Frank’s gorgeous face, and simply smiled at him. “Why don’t you see if you can go in later, baby?” He suggested, as a small smile crept its way to replace the frown.

“I... suppose I could...”

And that is exactly what Frank did. As he disappeared into their bedroom to turn off his alarm and call his boss at the animal shelter, Gerard quickly dashed into the kitchen to make some hot chocolate for the two of them. He figured that even if Frank got disappointing news that he couldn’t go in to work later, at least he’d have a delicious surprise waiting for him.

But when Frank emerged into the living room to find Gerard hard at work on their tree once again, he was nothing but smiles. “You’ve got me for another two hours, sweetheart,” Frank spoke excitedly, as he wrapped his arms around his boyfriend from behind. “What ever shall you do with me?”

Gerard let the string of Christmas lights fall from his hand to the floor, and immediately became weakened as Frank began placing sensual kisses to his neck. “T-two hours?”

Frank grinned into Gerard’s neck at his reaction, and never let his movements falter for a second. “Mhm,” he hummed in reply, as his hands began to travel all along the length of Gerard’s body.

Considering the two rarely ever got to spend any quality time together, two hours felt like a lifetime to them. They spent an hour showing each other how much they missed each other, starting out on Gerard’s favorite chair in the living room and ending in a tangled mess of limbs, out of sync heartbeats, and erratic breathing on their gigantic bed. Gerard joined Frank in the shower afterward for round two, and just couldn’t resist taking him once again when they had gotten out of the shower because the sight of a wet, naked Frank smoking a cigarette on the bed that they shared was just too much for Gerard to take.

As Frank went on with his day, he was on a cloud as he remembered just how perfect their morning had been. His heart fluttered as he remembered seeing Gerard hanging lights on their tree, and his body tingled as he recalled how Gerard had him bent over his favorite chair literally within seconds of Frank revealing that he had extra time to spend with him.

“Well, someone’s in a fantastic mood today.”

Frank blushed deeply as he realized that he was caught spacing out and grinning like an idiot because of his memories of that morning with Gerard.

“Yeah... thanks for letting me come in late today,” Frank said to his boss, Ray. “You know I’ve been missing Gerard like crazy lately, it meant a lot to me to get to have a little extra time with him.”

Ray smiled at his co-worker. “No worries, Frank. I know that you work really hard, and so does he. It sucks that your schedules clash so much, it was the least I could do. It’s nice to see you so genuinely happy.”

Frank thought about Ray’s words for a moment, and smiled graciously at him. “Thanks Ray,” he replied, sighing deeply once he wrapped his head around what Ray had said. Frank was genuinely happy, for the most part.

Part of his life was consumed with taking care of the animals that were sent to the shelter, animals that were neglected or hurt or abandoned and didn’t have a home. It made him so happy to see the progress that his new friends had made once they were rehabilitated and adopted to good homes, and he loved this job so much.

The other part of his life belonged to the hospital, and he donated as much of his time as he could to the sick and injured children that took up residence for whatever amount of time they had to there. He would read them stories, play guitar for them, and help out with arts and crafts even though he was absolutely awful at it. But most of all, he was there to help lift their spirits, because a lot of them had given up hope or lost their smiles along the way. He was an unofficial big brother to a lot of the children there, and he made a lot of wonderful friendships along the way.

Knowing that he was making an impact on not only their lives, but on the lives of their families, was a feeling that couldn’t quite be described. But oh, did he miss his boyfriend. Part of the reason that Frank hung around the hospital so much was because Gerard worked ten hour shifts overnight. They worked completely opposite schedules, and even though they lived together, sometimes Frank and Gerard would go days without seeing each other. When Frank’s shifts were over, he rarely ever made it home before Gerard had to leave for work, so he would be greeted by an empty apartment while Gerard’s day was just beginning. He missed Gerard so dearly, and longed for the rare occasions during the week when they actually could spend time together. Those times were very few and far between, however, because of everything that was going on in their very busy lives.

This realization had taken a large toll on Frank throughout the day. He had the most wonderful few hours with his beloved Gerard, but he was now stricken with sadness because he had no clue when the next time they would be able to spend time together again.

“Frankie?”

A small voice had driven him out of his overwhelming thoughts, and he felt consumed with guilt as he sat at one of the tables in the recreation room at the hospital next to Angelica, one of his favorite patients at the hospital. He put on the best smile that he could, and put his tattooed hand within her small, outstretched hand for him to take.

“Why are you so sad today, Frankie?”

He looked into her big blue eyes, and couldn’t help the tears from welling up in his eyes. His overwhelming guilt began to eat him alive as he had the audacity to sit next to this sweet little girl and be sad about something so mundane. She had been in and out of the hospital for nearly two years and was bravely battling cancer. Over the last few months, she and Frank had grown rather close, and even though she was just seven years old, she was quite wise and could tell that something was bothering her friend.

She had just gone through another wave of chemotherapy and wore the pink bandana that Frank had given her over her head, and here she was, just as brave and optimistic as always. Frank’s problems felt so small compared to her own, and she was just a child.

“I’m so sorry, Angel,” Frank replied, giving her a real, genuine smile despite his tears. “I just miss my boyfriend, that’s all.”

Angel squeezed his hand a little bit harder, and handed him a tissue. Frank graciously accepted it, laughing to himself and feeling so very selfish for feeling sad about something that seems so small compared to the things she had to go through.

“If you miss Gerard so much, why don’t you go spend some time with him?” She suggested, as her big blue eyes glittered with hope. “You’re always here with me, and Jack and Alex and everyone else. We would understand if you didn’t come hang out with us as much, I don’t like seeing you so sad.”

Frank let out a deep sigh, and placed a small kiss to the back of her hand. “That’s very sweet of you, my dear, but even if I were to stop hanging out with you guys as much, I still wouldn’t be able to see him because he works overnight so he sleeps all day,” Frank explained, giving a sad smile. “And besides, I love spending time with you and Jack and Alex and everyone else. I’d much rather be here drawing with you, than at home by myself, doing nothing at all.”

Angelica beamed up at her friend, before wrapping her small arms around Frank. “Well, I love when you come to hang out with us. You’re my best friend, Frankie. I’d miss you if you stopped coming to visit,” she said as she squeezed Frank tightly, and Frank couldn’t help but feel his heart skip a small beat at what she had just said to him.

He wrapped his arms around the little girl and held her gently, as he did his best to forbid any more tears from falling. “You’re my best friend too, Angel. I’ll always be here for you, I promise,” Frank said, in his best strong voice, as his eyes met hers. “Even when you get out of here, I hope you’ll still want to be my friend.”

“You promise?” She asked, her blue eyes boring deeply within his.

“Pinky promise,” Frank replied, grinning at her, and extending his pinky out for her. She linked her small pinky with his, and grinned toothily back at him.

“Pinky promise,” She affirmed, and with that, the two of them went back to their drawings, carrying on with their usual happy demeanor, with her battle with cancer and Frank’s longing for his boyfriend the last thing on either of their minds.

At the end of his shift at the hospital, Frank was feeling more uplifted than he had in a long while. He started volunteering when he was in high school. Frank went to a Catholic school and as a requirement for graduating, he had to donate twenty hours of his time for community service. He chose to volunteer at the hospital, thinking that he was simply going to show up and serve his time and be done with it.

Those twenty hours were some of the best, most rewarding times of his life, and it became a very big part of his life. He would drop by randomly from time to time to spend time with several patients, but only over the last few months has it become something that he’s done on a regular basis. With it being almost time for Christmas, he’s been spending more time than usual at the hospital, helping to plan out Christmas-related activities. They’ve built gingerbread houses, made Christmas ornaments for their families, and today, they drew Christmas cards for their friends and loved ones.

But the crown jewel, is the Winter Wonderland extravaganza that would be taking place on Christmas Eve. Frank, along with several other volunteers, were working hard to make the event come to life, and he was so excited to see the looks on the patients’ faces whenever Christmas Eve finally did come in just a few days.

But now it had grown late, and it was now long overdue for him to return home. He really had no intention of rushing home, for Gerard was well into his second hour of work by now.

Sighing at that last thought, Frank fished his cell phone out of his pocket, and checked for any new notifications. There was one from Gerard, telling him that he loved him, and that he missed him. As Frank texted that he missed him and loved him in reply, a new notification from Gerard’s brother popped up on his screen, asking what he was up to.

Frank quirked an eyebrow as an idea hit him, and he replied that he wasn’t up to anything, and for his good friend Mikey to come over. Mikey replied soon after, saying he’d be on his way in about an hour.

Frank smiled brightly to himself at Mikey’s reply. He may not be able to see his beloved Gerard tonight, but, at least he’d have his best friend there to keep him company. Seeing as Mikey got to see even less of Gerard than Frank does, his brother missed Gerard quite dearly, as well, so at least they could hang out and miss Gerard a little less, together.

Frank’s bright mood only intensified as he walked into his and Gerard’s small apartment, and saw the Christmas lights from the tree that Gerard had surprised him with this morning. Flashbacks of their blissful morning then came back to hit him full force, and he couldn’t stop himself from grinning like a complete fool as he remembered how after their numerous sexual adventures that followed the Christmas tree surprise, they had decorated the tree with numerous ornaments once Gerard had finished putting the lights on the tree.

As Frank watched with wide, entranced eyes at the gorgeous tree that glittered in the otherwise dark apartment, his eyes were averted to two large figures that were hidden in the darkness of the apartment. He flicked on the light, and gasped out as he saw the two gigantic boxes that were wrapped up in superhero and Nightmare Before Christmas wrapping paper. He dropped his bag to the ground, and made a beeline for the presents, grinning like a fool for the millionth time today as he saw a small piece of paper that was attached to one of the boxes.

There was an anime drawing of he and Gerard on the opposite side of the paper, which immediately melted Frank to absolute goo as he took in yet another incredible piece of art that Gerard had created of the two of them. Underneath the drawing, was Gerard’s unmistakable handwriting, that simply said, “For my Frankie, these are for you. I can’t wait for you to open these up on Christmas. I love you, my sweet baby, always. XO, G.”

Frank was positively dying to know what was in either of the two gigantic presents, but he knew that he couldn’t have them just yet, so he simply let out a sigh, and turned his attention back to the tree, that was still glistening just so preciously even though the light in the apartment was now turned on.

It isn’t that Frank has never seen or had a Christmas tree before, but, this tree is in their apartment. It is their tree, and therefore, the most spectacular tree he has ever seen. He took in the different ornaments, smiling to himself at the handywork that he and Gerard had done, and gave a curious glance at one ornament that he had failed to see beforehand.

In the center of the tree, was an ornament in the shape of a small heart, that held two penguins in the center of it. “Our first Christmas” was written in elegant script beneath the figures, and Frank felt himself falling even more deeply in love with Gerard than before. He retrieved his cell phone from his pocket once again, and pressed the button to call his boyfriend.

As he awaited for him to answer, Frank took a seat in Gerard’s favorite chair, and sighed as he remembered how Gerard had bent him over this very chair just this morning, and fucked him good.

“Hi baby, what’s up?”

Frank felt himself melting as he heard Gerard’s voice on the other end, and felt that familiar ache in his heart from missing him with every fiber of his entire being. He was so overwhelmed with his emotions, that he had forgotten that he had Gerard on the phone with him.

“Frankie? Baby, you okay?”

Frank then did his best to swallow his emotions and immediately snapped back to the conversation. “You are the fucking best, Gerard Arthur Way, you know that right?”

Gerard’s laughter soon filtered in from his end of the line. “No my love, that would be you,” he replied.

“Totally all you, Gee. The tree, the presents- they are so huge!” Frank exclaimed, giggling to himself as his eyes danced all along the newest additions to their living room. “And the ornament, thank you so fucking much, Gerard. You’ve really outdone yourself, I can’t believe how lucky I am to have you.”

“I’m the lucky one, sugar, quit confusing yourself,” Gerard replied in a cheeky voice. “How is your night?”

“I just got home. I stayed late at the hospital decorating,” Frank replied, as he got even more comfortable in the chair that he was sitting in.

“That’s sweet baby,” Gerard replied, with an obvious adoring tone in his voice. “How’s the lovely Miss Angelica doing these days?”

Frank grinned as Gerard mentioned his friend. Gerard had gone along with Frank several times over the last few months to visit with the patients as well. He had wanted to be a part of this part of Frank’s life, and had seen how wonderful he was with the kids. It had absolutely pained Gerard once he was met with the realization that the two of them would never be able to conceive children of their own. He wanted nothing more than to have a huge family with Frank, but until they were both financially stable, he would have to keep this little dream of his to himself.

“She’s wonderful. She sends her regards and wanted me to tell you that she misses you,” Frank replied, remembering the goodbye that he had with Angelica today. She had told him that she could understand why he was sad about missing Gerard, because she missed him, too.

“She’s such a sweetheart,” Gerard said then, to which Frank nodded. “I promise you, I’ll stop by the hospital soon so we can spend time with Angelica and the others together. I’m sorry I’m such a vampire all the time, all I want to do when I get home is sleep.”

Frank felt his heart swell once again as Gerard spoke those words. “Promise me, baby?”

Frank felt his heart skip several beats as he eagerly awaited Gerard’s reply. “I promise, sugar,” he spoke then, causing Frank to let out the breath he didn’t even know he was holding. “Soon, I promise.”

“Awesome,” Frank grinned, sighing happily. “Christmas Eve is right around the corner, you’ll be able to see her and everyone else then.”

Gerard then began to choke on something on his end of the line, his breathing erratic as he began to cough.

“Gee?” Frank questioned, as Gerard tried to regulate his breathing. “Sugar, are you okay?”

Gerard coughed a few more times, before sighing very deeply. “Frankie... sweetheart, I have to tell you something,” he finally said, once he was able to speak again. Frank immediately felt his heart plummet to the pit of his stomach, as Gerard’s words wrapped around his heart strings and threatened to pull.

“What is it, Gee?” Frank asked, his voice small as he prepared himself for whatever it was that Gerard had to tell him.

Gerard sighed once again, knowing that this was one of the hardest things he was going to have to say to his boyfriend.

“Sugar, I can’t come to the hospital with you on Christmas Eve,” he finally said, his voice full of sorrow and regret. “I tried taking off of work, but the earliest that I can get off is at eleven. I’m so, so fucking sorry, Frankie. Please don’t be mad at me.”

Gerard’s words tugged at Frank’s heart strings and yanked them for all they were worth, Frank couldn’t stop the tears from welling up in his eyes yet again. “Gee...” Frank breathed out, trying hard to keep Gerard from knowing that he was so upset. “I just... it’s fucking Christmas Eve, and your boss won’t even fucking let you off so you can spend time with your loved ones?”

“I’m sorry, Frankie. I’m lucky that he’s letting me off early, at all,” Gerard replied, before sighing deeply once again. “I’ll make this up to you, I swear.”

Frank sat in Gerard’s favorite chair with his knees pulled up to his chest, and did his best to concentrate on breathing normally. He felt his heart shattering within his chest, but again, did his best to keep Gerard from knowing how deeply devastated he was that he was going to miss something so special and important to him.

“I know,” Frank replied, his voice sad and small. He wanted to tell Gerard how he felt, but before he got the chance to even build up the courage to do so, he heard voices on the other end of the line.

“I’m so sorry, baby. So sorry, and I really fucking hate to do this, but I have to go back to work before I get in trouble,” Gerard said in a reluctant voice. “I’ll see you soon, Frankie. I love you.”

“I love you,” Frank replied quietly.

It was only as Gerard ended the call, that Frank let his tears begin to fall.