More Like a Movie

I hated going back to Vic's room, but I knew I had to listen to Tony's advice and talk to Mike. After all, he was the one closest to Vic. He had answers that no one else did and something told me he'd be more than willing to share them with me. I got the feeling he thought that Vic and I were good together and I used to agree. Now I'm having second thoughts. Maybe everything I felt towards him was all in my head. Maybe I just thought I liked him; like I thought he liked me.

Sighing, I threw myself down on Vic's bed as I waited for Mike to get back. Only moments ago Vic was lying here holding me. Why did I have to open my fucking mouth? If I would have kept quiet then maybe Vic and I would still be here. Instead I didn't even know if I'd ever be with him again. And that thought hurt.

The door swung open, banging against the wall and I jumped in a fright, scrambling off of Vic’s bed as fast as I could. I knew that it wouldn’t be him. Tony made sure he’d be occupied, but I couldn’t help but feel a little panicked. Just as I suspected though Mike came around the corner with two cups of coffee in his hand. I gave him a small smile and stepped forward taking one from him.

“Thanks,” I murmured quietly and shuffled back to my previous space on Vic’s bed.

He nodded and sat down across from me looking concerned. When I came over earlier I didn’t exactly go into detail with what I was saying, just that I needed to talk to him about Vic. Then he went to go get us coffee before I could give him an explanation. I’m sure that it would be awkward for him talking about Vic when he’s not here and all and I kind of felt bad, digging into his personal life but at the same time this was what Tony told me to do and I was at such a loss after my argument with Vic this morning that I probably would have done anything anyone said.

“What did my brother do?” Mike said almost defensively, but judging by the look on his face he didn’t mean for the words to come out in such a guarding tone. A small smile crept onto his lips letting me know he meant no harm.

I took a sip of the coffee, ignoring the intense heat that clawed at my throat and thought about my words carefully. Talking to Mike about my sex life with his brother was definitely out of the question, but I didn’t know how else to ease into this conversation without bringing that part up first. No doubt he’d feel uncomfortable, but it would be brief and then we could discuss other things.

“Uh, okay,” I started slowly as I strung the words along in my head. “Last night your brother and I got intimate or whatever and when I woke up this morning we talked more about it and I made the mistake of basically saying that I wanted more out of the relationship. Then he got mad and freaked out so I left and ran into Tony who told me to come here and I didn’t know what else to do so here I am telling you this and I’m so fucking sorry if this is inappropriate but I’m a fucking moron and I really like your brother and just help me, please.” I said in one long breath, cringing at how utterly desperate I sounded.

“First off,” Mike stood and walked to me, “Relax. You don’t have to apologize to me.” His smile was genuine as he slung his arm across my shoulder. “Second, I understand where you’re coming from. Vic’s a confusing character sometimes. He means well, he really does, and I’m sorry that he treated you like shit this morning. I don’t really have an excuse for that, but I can tell you without hesitation that he really likes you too.”

“Sure he does,” I scoffed and folded my arms across my chest. If Vic liked me so much he would have spoken to me rationally. He would have acted like the adult he claimed to be and had a proper conversation with me rather than telling me I was just a fuck.

Mike sighed and I could tell he was struggling here, but I couldn’t help it. I was still upset and I honestly did not believe a word that came out of his mouth. If all he was going to do was tell me lies, then I had no reason to be here.

“This was stupid,” I said and shrugged out of his hold on me. “I’m just gonna go.”

“Kellin, don’t,” he protested and pulled me back. “Listen, there are some things that I need to tell you. I shouldn’t tell you, but I think you deserve to know. And I’m fairly certain that Vic won’t have this conversation with you so unfortunately it’s going to have to be me. He’s going to be pissed off at first, but like I said before…he likes you, so he’ll get over it.”

His eyes were full of determination and even though I wanted to leave and walk right out that door for the second time today, I bit my tongue and stepped back. Whatever Mike had to say, I would listen to it and make my decision after. He had no reason to lie to me whatsoever, so I felt like I owed him this much.

“Fine,” was all I said before returning to my spot on Vic’s bed, this time with my legs pulled up to my chest. I felt safer this way, though I wasn’t sure what I needed protection from.

Next to me, the younger Fuentes looked to be in deep thought and my curiosity grew. It was clear by the words he chose to use with me that Vic’s little secret wasn’t in fact little at all. Plus, he said that Vic would be mad once I found out. Obviously it’s his private life, but often times the secrets we keep aren’t as bad as we think they are. In Vic’s case, however, I was starting to believe whatever he was hiding had a huge effect on him.

“So, when we were younger Vic was in a different high school.” Mike began. I knew they were a year apart, but I didn’t know they had gone to separate schools. “He got accepted to some creative liberal school and I stayed at the one in our hometown. I was proud of him, you know? Every letter he sent or phone call that he made, I could tell he was excited. It was like his dream to be able to pursue his talents so early on.”

I nodded along slowly, wondering where he was even going with this. Of course I wanted to know every detail, but I was just so eager to know what was bothering Vic so much that I felt impatient.

“He had the time of his life there and he met some really cool people, a few I think he still keeps in touch with, but among those friends he met a girl.” At those words, I stopped spacing out and faced Mike in surprise.

“A girl?” I questioned. “Vic’s bisexual or?”

He shrugged and stared at the floor. “I don’t know, honestly. I think Vic just likes who he likes.”

I didn’t press on it anymore, just nodded my head and stared straight ahead towards the window that now had sun pouring in through the blinds. So, Vic met a girl. If Mike’s story was going where I thought it was going then Vic dated this girl. Did she break his heart? If this is some cliché story where Vic lost the girl to another guy or something I’ll be fucking pissed.

“Then what?” I asked cautiously, almost dreading the ending of this.

“Then…then things changed. Her name was Celeste and she was such a fucking bitch.” He huffed out in frustration and when I tore my eyes away from the window I saw him shaking his head with a scowl. “We all heard stories about her back home. Yeah, she was infamous; manipulative, vile, demeaning. The guys seemed to be mesmerized by her though because she was such a good actress. She could play up the sweet princess act like nobody’s business and everyone bought it. My brother included.”

I frowned at the thought of Vic being with someone Mike deemed as vile. It was upsetting to know that he had been hurt, but I still couldn’t stop thinking about how cliché it was. Was a broken heart really a good enough excuse to treat every person encountered like shit?

“He was smitten, in love. So much so that he came home on Christmas break and asked my mother for my grandma’s ring. He was going to fucking propose to her. I mean, my mom said no, that she didn’t think he was ready for such a huge commitment like that, but the thought was definitely there.” Mike explained to me. “He poured all of his happiness and all of his love into this one person…and she crushed him.”

He got up from the bed and walked towards his desk. I watched as he grabbed a key from a penny jar on his book case and unlocked one of the drawers. He ruffled through its contents, searching for something in frustration. When he found what he was looking for he made a sound of approval and closed the drawer.

Turning around, I saw him holding a book. It looked ordinary to me, small in size with a mint green cover and fancy orange letters scribbled on the front. I couldn’t see what it was titled as Mike stepped in front of me and opened to a tabbed page. He bit his lip and looked at me thoughtfully for a second before motioning for me to take it. I reached for it, looking from the book to him as he placed the object in my hands.

“Okay, no matter what happens you cannot tell Vic that I have this.” He said seriously. I wanted to question why, but he started talking again. “He’ll hate me and I don’t want that. I only have this for, well, reasons like this. So just read the highlighted part before I continue, okay?”

I didn’t have much of a choice so I just nodded and let my eyes fall on the section outlined in yellow.

Love was a beautiful thing and when Rose ran into that strange boy that afternoon, she was certain that she had found it. Never before had she met someone with such a unique voice. It was high but deep, rich and sweet, and the way he said “I’m sorry” and “thank you” made her heart flutter. Her type of guy had always been the tall, toned, blondes with bright green guys and a preppy sense of style, but there was something about the stranger and his olive colored skin, his dark curly hair that made her want to change her ways. The eyes of the boy in the hallway were a shimmering brown, so vivid and captivating and she swore after that encounter, brown was her new favorite color. One small touch, one brief brush of the hand and sparks flew, butterflies erupted and Rose fell in love with a boy she just met. With a boy who smelled of cinnamon and honey; a boy by the name of Victor.

My jaw dropped as I read the passage once, twice, three times again. I looked up at Mike in astonishment and he just nodded. Licking my lips, I thought about what to say, but what could even be said?

“This is about Vic,” I pointed out with the book still in my hands. Once again Mike nodded and took the novel away from me. He closed it and sat back down on his bed, his fingers running over the cover repeatedly.

“Celeste was a writer,” he whispered and I felt my body go hot. “They dated for two years and you could see that Vic always more into it, but she strung him along anyway. When graduation eventually rolled around, she let her secrets spill.”

I felt my heart beating against its cage, but I didn’t know what to say. I was so afraid of Mike’s next words because I knew what was coming. I felt it the second he made me read that paragraph.

“She used him for a story, Kellin. She got lost, needed some inspiration and that’s when she met my brother. Two years of what he thought was undeniable love were really just so she could get an idea, get creative. She never loved him. Everything that they went through is in that book. She fucking published their relationship and the only things she did were switch the roles around and change his last name.” Mike sounded disgusted as he spoke and I couldn’t really blame him. What the girl did to Vic was horrible. It was devastating.

“Everyone knew it was him though. Like everyone knew that “Rose” was her. He was the Vic she dated in high school and everyone that knew Celeste and read the book, knew that. Not only did his reputation go to shit because of what she wrote, but more importantly, he was fucking heartbroken and embarrassed. He stopped trusting people, stopped dating for the longest time, and he hasn’t been the same. He drank a lot for a while until my mom stepped in and got him help.” Mike looked away from me and sighed. “He’s a good guy. He didn’t deserve that shit. No one fucking deserves that shit. But it happened. And I know that it doesn’t give him the right to hurt you, but you have to understand where he’s coming from. How can he let you, a writer, in when he’s been burned by someone like that in the past? You know how easy it is to create a story and who is to say you won’t do that to him?”

I looked up instantly, shaking my head feeling myself wanting to cry and explain myself but Mike offered a smile. “I know you wouldn’t, Kellin, but this is Vic’s train of thought.”

“Mike, I-” I tried, but I didn’t know what to say. All I wanted to do was go find Vic and apologize; hug him and tell him that I am so sorry for what he went through. But I wasn’t even sure if I could do that.

“You’ve gotta talk to him,” Mike said. “You have to make him trust you. Let him know that you’re on his side. Everyone knows you’re a good kid, Kellin. Vic just has to believe it. You have to make him believe it.”

“How?” My voice cracked and I wiped at my cheeks furiously. I couldn’t believe that I was crying, again.

“Just keep being you. And don’t stop being you. You’ve been honest about yourself so far and he sees that, which is probably what scares him a little. You’re the first honest relationship he’s had in a while.” Mike’s words gave me little encouragement but I knew now more than ever that I couldn’t give up on Vic. “I think you guys are good together. I believe you bring out the best in each other and I would hate to see that get thrown away.”

I nodded and stood up, ready to go find Vic and talk things through with him. Fuck, I didn’t even know what I would say, but it had to be good. It had to be honest. “Hey, Mike?” I stopped in front of the door and turned to face him. His head perked up at my words. “Thanks,” I smiled lightly.

“No problem,” he hesitated. “Don’t do anything stupid, okay?” He chuckled a little and I rolled my eyes playfully, but waved him off anyway.

As I left the room, I knew that there was only one where place where Vic could be and that was the bridge we went to that night Tony and Jaime went to the movie premiere. He loved it there; it was his getaway. Being here, I didn’t think I had that one place where I liked to be but after the day I had today, I knew that my place was wherever Vic was.



I found him easily, which didn’t surprise me. Something told me he wanted to be found. I climbed the stairs slowly, not to startle him, but he saw me anyway. When his eyes locked with mine, I saw the redness surrounding them, and the dried tear stains on his cheeks. I didn’t know what happened with Tony, but my guess was that it wasn’t good.

I didn’t waste another moment, completing my trip up the stairs with a jog so I could comfort him. I threw my arms around his shaking body and crawled into his lap, holding him close. He didn’t push me away, but I had a feeling he wouldn’t. We both knew he needed the comfort and I was the only person who could give it to him at this point.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” I whispered into the air, knowing he barely heard over the traffic down below us.

He sighed against me and hesitantly placed his arms around my waist hugging me back. Sudden relief rushed through my body and I couldn’t even begin to explain how good it felt to have him hold me again even though it had only been a couple of hours.

We sat like that for what felt like forever, holding onto each other and listening to the wind whip around us. Eventually the sky turned gray and in the distance a rumble of thunder could be heard. It would only be a matter of minutes before it started raining on us, but I didn’t mind. Vic didn’t either.

When I finally pulled away from him, I decided that I had to tell him the truth. I wouldn’t even leave out the part about Mike having the book even though he specifically asked me to. I sighed and linked my fingers behind his neck, still straddling him. His grip loosened on my hips and instead he had started to mindlessly rub my sides up and down.

“Mike told me what happened,” I broke the silence between us. His eyes snapped up to meet mine and I gave an apologetic smile. “He has the book.”

“Of course he does,” he mumbled and looked away. He didn’t stop touching me so I took it as a good sign.

“He wanted me to know so I didn’t runaway and give up on you. He thinks I’m good for you.” I tried to sound positive in speaking, maybe he’d smile.

Instead he rolled his eyes. “Sure you are.”

“I am Vic,” I said defensively. “We’re good for each other.” At that he dropped his hands and tried to pull away from me but I wouldn’t have that. I removed one of my hands from his neck and grabbed his chin, making him look at me. “You fell in love with someone who was never in love with you, who wanted a story and nothing more and I’m so sorry that happened to you.” I rested my forehead against his. “I know she ruined your reputation and-”

“My reputation?” He snapped, pushing me back slightly. “Kellin, I don’t give a fuck about my reputation!” He nearly shouted at me. I had definitely hit a nerve I didn’t mean to. When he saw the fear in my eyes he sighed and dropped his head, placing his hands back on my hips. “I fell in love with a girl who never even loved me. Who used me for a story and when she got what she wanted, abandoned me. How is that supposed to make me feel?” His voice cracked and when I placed my hands on his cheeks I felt fresh tears.

He raised his head, eyes meeting mine with such sadness again. I shook my head at a loss for words and bit my lip to stop myself from crying with him. He didn’t need the sympathy, he needed strength.

“I don’t know how someone could be so cruel,” I wiped the tears away with my thumbs. “But you need to know that I am different. Everything that I feel for you is real. It’s genuine. I know that it’s hard to trust right now, but I need you to trust me. I don’t want to be with you for a story, Vic. I want to be with you because I’m absolutely crazy about you.”

Hesitation swam through his eyes, but I knew that he was so close to giving in to me. I almost had him so I did the only thing I thought to do and kissed him, hard and passionately. He didn’t protest, didn’t push me away. He wrapped his arms around my waist and closed off any space we had between us as he kissed me back.

This was such a perfect kiss, under such shitty circumstances but as I sat on this bridge with Vic holding on to me, I made a promise that I wouldn’t fuck him over and it was a promise I intended to keep.